i am learning!

Hey everyone!

I posted over at the "WLS in your 20s" forum first because, well, that's where I thought I'd fit in best. But I decided in order to really make a good support group for what I'm going through, I need to reach out to several different outlets.

So I guess this is sort of an introduction? My name is Diana, I'm 19 years old, currently in University in Toronto, ON, CA and am looking into WLS so I can get healthy, feel good (look good, too!) and be happy!

I've had two people close to me recently get RNYs, and I'm thinking of going the same route. My first doctor's appointment is on Monday, and I've already been reading every day on these forums (silently congratulating new additions to the "losers bench" and clapping for "wow!" moments!) and getting as much information as I can.

I haven't lived at home since I was 16, but my mom is very supportive of me, as well as my closest sister. I'm having troubles trying to think of what to tell my father and his family, as they are very unsupportive about these sorts of things. It's just all very scary and overwhelming at times, but I know that through it all, the benefits will be surpassing the complications.

So, yeah! Hello!

Welcome!

If your father isn't supportive, why bring him into the picture?  People need to know that their inability to be supportive has consequences--you don't get invited to the party. 

If you want to tell him anything, tell him as much or as little as you think you should, and then ignore him.  His issues are his and don't need to be yours.  As long as you give him the power to worry you, you will be at his mercy. 

It is all scary and a bit overwhelming.  Take advantage of having a supportive mother and sister.  Make them your network and leave the others alone.  It's not easy but it can be done.

Welcome ! I think you are very wise to do this when you are young. My only regret about WLS is that I waited until I was 55 to do it. I feel like I missed out on alot of good years, especially when my kids were small.

I only told the people initially who I thought would be supportive. I lost one good friend (or so I thought). Later on, as the weight loss was more visible , I told more people, but only if they ask how I did it.

Good luck to you!

While I was reading what you said, Sally, it reminded me exactly of what my mother would say. I even read it to her and she was happy to see there are people who can support me who "know exactly what is right" for me, besides herself, haha, of course. It's really encouraging to hear that, though, so thanks for the advice. It's still a long journey, so hopefully I'll know better what to do when the time comes. I'm a really 'cross that bridge when I get to it' sort of person.

Thanks Pam - I really think it's good that I'm doing it now, too. I'm getting a lot of flack from people who think I'm too young to be doing it, but I think those people just don't really know a lot about what I feel like right now, and how much better this will be for me. I want to be able to experience things, you know? I'm sure you'll now have plenty of years ahead of you to enjoy, too, though! I hope I'm as successful as so many people around here have been. :-)

Thanks for your kind words!

No one can live your life but yourself. Do tell your dad that you're having the surgery but you don't need/require his blessing to do it. As for the people who are telling you that you're too young.... ask them so when would be the right age..... after you're diabetic, after arthritis sets in your joints, after you get high blood pressure, after you get sleep apnea, after your weight causes you to have infertility when you want to have kids? Yes you're young but you have all that and more to look forward to if you don't take control and do something about the excess weight. Tell them to get on board or they'll be left behind.

I think that the others have given you the right advice so I will just second their opinions..

I wish I had done this a lot sooner in life too.. I am 50 years old now .. I have sleep apnea and suffered with high blood pressure most of my life and became diabetic about 4 years ago.. I have had two mini strokes and my joints are worn out.. So when somene tells you that you are too young to have the surgery.. do not let that stop you.. please dont wait until you have all the awful co morbidities that come along with super morbid obesity. ,, time will not be on your side.. it can work against you horribly..

Getting the surgery now will let you live a great life and not suffer until you cant take it anymore and then decide to do something about it..

Lean on your supporters.. dont let the others discourage you.. and read read read and learn learn learn all you can while you are waiting for the surgery to happen..

Welcome to BMI over 50.. this is a great forum and I think you will love it here.. we all really try to support each other and be encourageing.. the people on here are great.. so I say
Welcome Home..

 Wow, everyone here seems so supportive. I thought I would toss a couple questions in. My intro. -I'm a newbie so I'm learning all I can about wls. I'm scheduled for a VSG per my doctor's recommendation on Feb. 18. I start the bariatric liquid type preop diet on Feb 3 -hope to find out more about their requirements. I'm worried about how much weight loss is considered to be ok prior to the surgery. I've only lost a little so far. Not sure about the expectations.

My husband and a few friends are supportive of what I'm doing. I haven't told my family because they wouldn't be supportive. I've prepared coworkers by simply telling them I'm exercising and dieting. Don't know if or when I'll say more to anyone. I don't want to deal with negative or patronizing people. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. Scared and wish I didn't need to do this but my head says it's the best thing for me, the benefits etc.. Hope they knock me out quickly!!  

My suggestion to you right now would be to go to your local book store and get one of two books.. one is called "Weight Loss Surgery For Dummies"...  yes it is one of those yellow and black dummies books but it is really good.. you can look on Pam Trembles web site and see she has it listed too as a good book.. It has a lot of good information in it and it will answer so many of your questions.. also you will have it to refer to later when you get questions too.. there is another book that I found to be really great.. it is called. "Weight Loss Surgery A Lighter Look at a Heavy Subject." it is written by Terry Simpson, MD.  it has great information in it.. He has a lighter way of writing and it really is fun and easy to read yet very very informative.. I believe that Terry Simpson is the resident doctor for info for OH.. You may not be able to get it at a book store.. I bought mine online.. I just googled Terry Simpson and I got his web site and bought it off there.. ebay is also a great place to buy online.. I would really highly recommend you get at least one of these books, if not both, and read.. you will never regret the information you can get from these books.. Yes you will still have questions and need to get on here and ask.. but as supportive as we can be you may get 10 different answers from 10 different people.. doctors programs are all different and many times we only know what our doctors have told us to do.. also you get a lot of newbies trying to tell you things that they really need to know more about to begin with.. there are many many old timers on here that are years out from surgery and they have great advice..
As far as how much you have to lose before surgery your doctor will tell you that and should have already if there was a need to loose a certain amount.. many have to loose because of the insurance so much weight too.. I was given a percentage of weight I had to loose by the insurance.. my doc had no set amount.. all that was required was that I follow a 2 week liquid diet to shrink my enlarged liver. we all have enlarged livers and that need to shrink to make the surgery easier and possible for the surgeon.. now all do not require 2 weeks liquid so don't go by that.. some do a week some do 3 days.. and some do not at all.. remember what I said..all doc programs are different... but what ever the doc tells you to do , please follow it , it is for your health and safety during surgery..

Once again welcome to BMI over 50..you are welcome to ask any questions here..no matter how silly or stupid you may think it is.. no question is ever stupid or silly.. all our questions deserve to be answered..  we will always try to answer them the best we can for you.. we will always be here to support you.. you tell who ever you need to and don't worry about the rest.. all will work out as needed as time goes on..

Teresa S. 
Thanks for the good advice. There are so many voices on here, it can be confusing. I will look for the books you mentioned as I too am a reader. After reading the forums for awhile I agree there's a great deal of differing opinions and diets restrictions out there, I've been trying to look at the big picture by looking at those who say similar type things about their surgeries and their diets. Thanks for the newbie caution. I'll definitely keep that in mind. Yes, it doesn't seem to take long for people to become experts!     

My husband had the RNY to get his weight down so he could have his hips replaced. It worked but now he's having trouble keeping it on due to additional health issues and pain. He has scoliosis with a collapsing spine, sciatica and was recently diagnosed with severe osteoporosis. A bariatric surgeon said the osteoporosis is due to malabsorption from the RNY so I've seen the bad side of some of this. The big thing I've learned from his experience is how vitally important complete nutrition is with the proper amount of vitamins, potassium etc. in addition to getting enough protein. I've been looking at some of the protein drinks out there and they don't have any other nutritional value (or very little). I'll probably have to get meal replacements at the bariatric office (taste bad but have better nutrition).. It's great to hear there's a book out there for us wls dummies! I wish I'd had it back when my husband had his wls.

Did you have trouble taking vitamins/pills after wls? Did you take liquid versions or just cut them up into small pieces? 

Since I take NSAIDs for arthritis and my bmi is high, my doctor recommended the VSG. He said I'll be on a liquid only diet for the first 2 weeks prior to surgery to help shrink my liver. A required amount  to lose before surgery wasn't mentioned and though I've lost some, I've worried whether I'll lose enough and what if my liver wasn't shrunk enough and what is enough anyway!  Yep , that's my head spinning! The doctor said eat three small meals and one or two light snacks is ok (150 carbs) and 30 min of exercise a day. Not sure if this is what he meant (heehee)   I'm working on it and giving my bike a good workout. Some days I'm better at it than others but I've made a whole lot of life changes for the better. Whenever I screw up, I get a ton of anxiety. With a new diagnosis of diabetes, I'm learning about what I'm supposed to be doing with that as well. I've already gotten the dummy book for diabetics and the dummy one for computers! Next, the dummy book for wls! I seeing a pattern here!! The other book you mentioned sounds good too.   

Thank you for responding to my questions. I hope you don't mind. Also, we share the same name Teresa -spelled the same way so I knew you had to be ok!!