Need Encouragement

Hi everyone.  I am new to this forum and was wondering if anyone had any words of encouragement for me.  I am trying to get the Bypass scheduled soon.  I have been on this journey since last May.  It seems like the harder I try to get things done, the more obstacles appear.  At first I considered the lap band, but was told that my BMI (54) was too high and had to lose 40 lbs.  I tried that for a couple of months with no real positive results.  I then decided to change to the bypass, and then my surgeon went out on maternity leave.  I have now been approved through insurance and have the financials taken care of, but now I'm being told that I have to loose 30 lbs before surgery can even be scheduled and a pre-op diet started!  I am thinking... Really???  I am wondering if this is some sign that maybe I shouldn't do the surgery and am wondering why these roadblocks keep appearing.  I am praying through them, but disappointment and doubt are beginning to seep in.  I have now been trying to lose this 30 lbs for the past 2 months.  I will lose 10 and gain 8, lose 5 and gain 2.  I am beginning to think it's not going to happen for me, and slowly feel myself giving up.  Are there any words of wisdom or advice that anyone has for mental sanity?

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.  I know many people find themselves successful losing weight preop on a no/low carb diet or going on a liquid diet. 

Is the needed weight loss an insurance requirement or a surgeon's requirement?  I know many surgeons want you in the best shape possible before surgery and require there be some weight loss.  

Maybe you could start implementing some behavior management techniques post op patients have to do to help.  Here are some ideas. 

*No caffeine or carbonated drinks
*Slow down when eating.  Try to take at least 30 minutes per meal. 
*Chew everything to smithereens.
*Drink 64 ounces of calorie free beverages a day.
*Eat protein first, then non starchy veggies/ fruits, then carbs

You have made a great choice to improve your health and your quality of life! 

Good luck and keep us posted on your journey!

You know it's pretty common for surgeons to require you to lose somewhere around 10% of your body weight before surgery. I had to lose 50 before I could get my RNY because my BMI was 60+, but you can do this. See a nutritionist, get started exercising and focus on living like you will after surgery- it makes life easier.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

When I read stories like yours, I am so eternally grateful to my surgeon because he told me not to GAIN any weight and to try to lose some.  I was also fortunate that my insurance company did not require a supervised diet; rather 5 years of history and 6 months of data.  I had severe sleep apnea which made it impossible to really concentrate on any type of program.  My test results and my general health (with the sleep apnea being what probably put me over) got me approved by my insurance company.

My BMI was 64 at my consult and the day of my surgery.  I did consider the band but my surgeon did not recommend it and I went with the rny.  He did suggest DS but I was fearful of some of the issues post op and I was a sugar addict and the threat of dumping has been helpful. 

I actually GAINED 20 pounds between my consult which was lost with a 3 week liquid diet which put me at my consult weight.  My commitment to the program was not any less because I couldn't lose 30 pounds prior to surgery as is evidenced by my progress after a year and a half out.  If I did not have this surgery, I probably would have gained an additional 100 pounds or more and I probably would not be here. 

The only advice I can give you is to do the best you can.  Who is telling you to lose 30 pounds before surgery, your surgeon or the insurance company?  I believe if you will have lost something, you will have your surgery.   What disturbs me is you getting discouraged already and you should convey that to your surgeon and get some of the logic behind this.  After all, you are the consumer and they need to provide this information to you.

Best of luck to you.

Sylvia

Hang in there.  we have all had to jump through hoops to get the surgery.. some of us including loosing weight . I was told by the insurance I ahd to loose to get the sugery... pure determination to not let the insurance win and take my life from me helped me stay focused,,, I was put on a preop diet and I really stuck to it.. yes it is hard , but you can do it..

I had so many roadblocks thrown at me too, you can look at my home page and see. maybe that will make you feel better.. I had road blocks for 5 years trying to get the surgery.. I used each one to help me be more determined than ever to fight harder..
I am not saying I did not get discouraged some and wonder why al that was happening and if it was a sign but the friends on here really helped me through a lot..
you can do this.. hang in there and keep trying.. get your ***** up and get determined to make it happen.. you can always come here for encouragement.. we will help support you..

Do NOT give up.. this is to save your life.. do not let the insurance win in making you quit trying to get the surgery.. it is to their benefit to make you want to quit trying..
If it is the surgeon that is requiring the weight loss it is for your safety during the surgery.. I was at a BMI of 63.3 when I started and I got my BMI down to 49 for surgery.. it was not easy but I did it.. and if I can do it so can you... talk to your surgeon and tell him you are having trouble loosing.. maybe he can help with the loss..

I will help support you all I can.. ask anytime.. you cna pm me anytime you want and vent .. I will try to help all I can..

Stay in the race.. dont give up.. the goal is close now..

My best advice is to keep your eye on the prize and focus on the end result.  With a liquid diet you can knock 30 lbs out easily.  As a previous poster said, I was advised not to gain any weight by my surgeon and did liquids 2 days out. 

It took me 10 years to have my surgery.  8 of those ten were by choice.  The last 2 years really took some work because I was faced with a couple of obstacles but I overcame them.  You can too.  If this is what you really want then sit down, focus and make it happen.  Consider it to be practice for life post surgery the first few weeks.  You can do it.   But at the same time, be honest with yourself.  Have you really given it the full effort to get those 30 lbs off?  Accountability is key.  I'll check in on ya to see how you're doing from day to day.

Ms. E

Thank you everyone for your honesty, advice, and support.  It really helps a lot talking with someone who knows where I'm coming from.  My support system at home is not as encouraging, so I really appreciate it. 

I have not attempted an all liquid diet yet.  I think that's what I will try.  Does anyone have any suggestions aboout this?  I usually drink Glucerna for breakfast, so it would have to be diabetes friendly.  I will also consult with my surgeon, since it is her requirement and not the insurance companies.  I can't thank you all enough for your support!

My surgeon group will band if your BMI is less than 60. I had to lose 37 lbs (10%) for insurance to pay. It took me 5 months, but I learned alot about myself in those 5 months.

One thing I did (and this may not be your style) was tell EVERYONE what I was trying to do. So even people I don't know well at work were encouraging me and asking how much I lost. On the days when I was overeating, this was a PAIN, but I eventually got the weight off. I also had folks on Facebook rooting for me and my family. I did lots of sneaking around and eating in my car, but the weight finally came off. Oh, and I weighed in with my main doctor (not the surgeon) every other week.

I tried liquids only and I wasn't able to pull it off. I was fine until about 7 pm then all hell broke loose and I ate anything that wasn't nailed down. The thing that worked the best for me was:
Whey protein in skim milk for breakfast
Lean Cuisine or other frozen lunch plus an apple or veggie
Vita top (100 cal) muffin for snack
Big salad with protein for dinner
SF pudding cup for dessert

It was 1000 to 1200 calories and it got me to the goal.

GOOD LUCK. Let us hear from you. I have found the surgery to be VERY helpful!

 I feel your pain I too wonder how I can lose the weight they are requiring.... 60 pounds or so
If I could lose 60 lbs I would have done it already. I am just tring tokeep my focus on the life I want that isnt mine because my weight is holding me back... My mantra is "Will this (whatever) taste better then being able to do the things I want. (Like walking the mall with my daughter) Hope this helps 

My best advice....sicne I am RIGHT THERE with ya!!! Issue after issue after issue... is DO NOT GIVE UP!  I am not giving up...I will get this freaking surgery!!!!  HOPEFULLY in 2010!

Dont give up!  Dont give up! Dont give up!  :)  My BMI was 54 too actually maybe it was higher I cant remember now but it's not far from that even now.   I'm following my original plan of eating healthier, eating less and 30 minutes of MOVING per day in any type of increments I can get in and I have so much more energy that I usually do a lot more than that probably :)  I think losing the weight before your surgery can ONLY help!  I think of it this way...anything I lose now I wont have to lose then AND it will make US healthier on that operating table!  Hang in there!!!