I am a primed emotional bomb

So, lately my fat cells must be jettisoning estrogen once again. Four times in the past three weeks when I've gotten injured even slightly, I completely lose it.

My hubbie moved the office chair (no one was sitting in it) and a wheel went over two of my toes. I yelled at him and almost bit him.
While we were getting Thanksgiving dinner on the table, I asked my brother to get down a big wooden salad bowl. It fell while he was trying to get it and hit me in the arm. I ripped him a new one. I got so mad, I saw red and my mind blanked out on what I said to him.
My 3-year-old dropped a brass combination lock on my foot and I almost growled. I barely kept it in check. I sent her out to the living room to be with the rest of the family while I just sort of simmered by myself.
Yesterday I wrenched my back pulling the 3-year-old out of her stroller at Descanso Gardens down in Los Angeles. I got to the point where I just told my sister and my husband that I would wait for them at the end of the trail. Then I went and found a little pond area where I concentrated on just calming myself down. I've been super grouchy ever since. (My kingdom for a Motrin! Tylenol ain't cutting it. The Lortab left over from my surgery is looking interesting.)

I don't think I'm PMSing. So, I'm thinking I'm having a fat-dumping-estrogen event again. But this must be super potent estrogen that's been hanging around since 1988 or so, much higher octane than normal.

GRRRRRR.

I'm sending you a virtual hug sister.

If it gets much worse you might think to call your doctor. I've heard of a number of people getting through with a little help from the pharmaceutical world. An antidepressant may be of immense help.

I love you Sis.

 My emotional bomb throughout my weight loss was this feeling of impending doom.  I had a constant fear something HORRIBLE was looming and I couldn't take it anymore.  It had me so on edge that my family was contemplating sending me off until the weight loss leveled out.  I got on meds and life improved greatly.  I recommend a heart to heart with a doctor.  

Wow!  Take a deep breath.  You sound like you may need to find some serenity - and it is there for you.  Try reading things on anger management and stress management. There are many ways to calm yourself.  When you are having these "out of body" experiences, it must feel very weird.  
  I agree to talk to your doctor may be in order.  And ask about some pain medication for those times when you need it.  All the best to you, and take care of yourself.  Emotions are powerful things.

I think you've hit the nail on the head about the fat/estrogen dump. I've heard of this before and experienced a bit of it myself. You are aware which is the first step and hopefully are quick with the apologies. Just let your family know what's going on and don't be too hard on yourself. This is a difficult journey. Hang in there!

Wow, Patti ! All I can say is, that was me the first six months after surgery! For me, I think I swallowed alot of anger for many, many years, and I buried it with carbs. When I didn't have carbs to medicate with , alot of irritability and rage surfaced. For awhile, I'm sure my family wondered who this witch was!

While much of my anger was valid, biting people's heads off sure didn't help. I talked about this with a therapist. What helped me was getting more sleep. My doc started me on a med, trazadone, which helped me sleep, and is also an antidepressant with some antianxiety components. It works well for me. Exercise also really helps me with anxiety. I can start a walk angry and anxious. When I am done my head is clearer, and I can calmly tell people what I need from them without screaming! It also helps to exercise when I am antsy and have head hunger.

Patti, I hope this helps!

I did apologize to my husband later that evening, my brother after dinner. I hugged my daughter and told her I loved her right after she she apologized it and then shooed her off to 'check on Grandma' while I gritted my teeth. I knew I was going to get really mad if I tried to keep up with my fam at the Gardens, so I sent them on ahead and found a nice bench where I did some deep breathing and calmed down.

It totally comes out when I get injured. So, I will endeavour to be more careful.

My insurance is changing as of January 1. I think I'll see about talking to someone then. I've never been real wild about taking mood medications. When I have, they have had the opposite effect for what they were intended. (I know there's about a zillion different ones out there.) But if I can find a non-medicine way to work on this I will.

Thanks everyone!!!

Patti,

I am doing the same thing right now.. I am in an itchy situation.. I am having an allergic reaction. and the craziness it is causing is unreal.. I can deal with pain.. I have a bad back problem and I have had to learn to deal with pain but this itching is doing to me what pain is doing to you.. My poor hubby.. I have been yelling at him for the past three or four days over nothing..little things that should not even mattter.. He has been so so good to me and taking care of me like a queen since my surgery and all he gets in return is being yelled at basically because he can't read my mind...
I hate drugs too but I had to return to my depression medication.. I have been on Effexor for years and I sure thought I could do this without it.. WRONG...I am better today yet not all there yet.. it takes time to get back into your system well.. Before this I handled so many problems very calmy  and with great restraint.. well off the meds and with the surgery thing.. I was loosing it again.. I recommend you seek a good councelor to talk to.. we are all here for you of course to talk to but a good councelor seems to always have a way to make things be in perspective.. You might just have to go on meds until the hormones straighten out.. just because you take them does not mean it has to be forever either.. I will pray for you that you find the right answers..
I am sure your family understands and they love you no matter how many times you yell at them or say the wrong things.. tell them what is going on with you so they can be there for you and not just wondering what is going on... I care about you and I sure hope you find the relief you need..

Exercise does work for me. I just have to find a creative way to get it in. I live in a very rural area and there are no gyms anywhere close to home. It's dark when I get home now. Close to work might be a possibility. Or find a way to get more out of my exercise bike.

I did a few months of talking with a social worker and it did me a world of good. She didn't say anything majorly earthshaking, but had a positive outlook on people and a new perspective on my entrenched ways of thinking. She got me over a hump and tootling on with life a little more cheerfully.

Hang in there.