9months post op.....

peggy76
on 11/20/09 7:24 pm, edited 11/20/09 7:25 pm - girardville, PA
 sorta a cross post from my surgery month(feb'09) board but wanted to share with all of u cuz i feel u will totally understand.... dare i say MORE then most others whom are lite weights.. (sorry just how i feel) not dissing anyone.. its just our journey is a much longer one then some...

 i'll be 9 months post op Nov. 23rd... even tho i have lost 167 lbs all together including pre-op loss...give or take a few depending on day... im avoiding scale atm......one of my issues...  im still (morbidly obese) im no longer super morbidly obese but im still that uber fat lady....... sighs... im just now able to wear... REAL size 26 jeans.. not stretchy elastic waist or jeans from lane bryant etc... but honest to goodness jeans... i see the difference in photos but its like lookin at a stranger an not me.. cuz when i look down or in mirror so not me...i still see me as i was 453 lbs... im off all pre-op meds except OTC's.. multi vitamins, calcium, sub. b-12.. started seeing psych recently.. was refered by my PCP  because of my depressive mental state.. an come to find out i was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from my abusive childhood... she started me on some celexa for the depression, an said something bout in a few weeks giving me something(abilify??) for my extreme anxiety... also for past couple months i have been having low blood pressure issues... (hypotension- some of u may recall me mentioning this..) blood pressure just bottoming out so i been going for all kinds of test for that... could be a glandular problem... i was told.. something to do with my petutary gland not working the way its supposed to... not sure yet but they have been checking everything inside an out... not been fun.. just when i started losing weight an getting into a normal excercise routine.. i started having black outs an was told to cease excercise till we find out the cause.. (fall risk) they dont want me blacking out, falling an hurting myself majorly.. i've been told to add more salt an increase fluids 84+ oz a day to increase my blood pressure..so i have been retaining water... for the past few weeks..sighs... plus increase my daily protein to at least 75g.... but been less dizzy/fainty.. so its a toss up i guess.. also i found out...... i dont dump as easily as i did in begining...  i ate some halloween candy (a few mini candy bars here an there) with no ill effect at all....... i so wi**** had made me horribly sick......  cuz now i so have to argue with myself not to eat them..(hubby bought a ton of after halloween candy on sale.. hes 180lbs... an can eat anything...)  so now with me its not a can't its a shouldn't... ya know?  i finally got the depo shot (birthcontrol)....... an was warned it could increase hunger but i wasnt wanting to eat at all so i thought oh ok.. it wont be bad it will help me get in my calories..  well hunger is back with a vengence an wants only unhealthy crap... (thats why an how the candy came in to play.. im sure..) sighs... fighting urges an cravings daily... and all i wana do is sleep... eat ...sleep... eat.. sleep... the past few weeks since i been on the depression med... but in a way thats good cuz i wasnt sleeping at all before so maybe my body is just balancing out an catchin up i dont know.. ok i think im done............ if i think of anything else i will come rant somemore..
 


                
Lesley G.
on 11/21/09 12:23 am - Allegan, MI
Congrats on your 9 month!  You are doing so well!!!

I can understand the feeling of having lost a huge amount and still being morbidly obese.  I'm in that same boat and some days I feel really discouraged about it.  Someone on here used the term "circus fat" and that's how I think of it -- I'm still fat, but no longer circus fat.  I hope things get better with the meds and the water retention.  I'm sure that's no fun, but it sounds like you're getting a handle on it.

Best wishes for many many more months of good health and continued weight loss.  You have a lot to be proud of!

Lesley
BoxofRain
on 11/21/09 1:19 am
Peggy, 167 lbs. is suchhh an accomplishment this past year...can you think of a year you achieve such a feat? Understandably, the fact that we won't be "at goal" in a year's time can be disheartening, but there is no reason we can't make it to where we want to be eventually...who said it was a race? Shari (Jupiter) has been inspirational in losing her 200+ lbs. and she's continuing to share her trials & tribulations. There is a percentage of peeps in our category who will lose a massive amount of weight in the 12-18 month optimal weightloss period and then work to get down to where they want to be. I can relate to some envy reading some of the lightweight postings about being pounds from goal in under a year. But hey, it is what it is!

I'm glad that your psych is helping you through with medication and therapy...some of the newer meds are groundbreaking and positively change peeps' outlooks and lives! You are so very worth all the steps of self-improvement you're taking. I hope that the physical issues (blacking out, extreme hunger, etc.) will calm down along the way,

I am so very proud of you and how far you've come! Keep taking current pics of yourself and keep them around to reinforce your new body image. I know that sometimes I am kinda fascinated with my reflection in a store window as it's new to me! Savor the great improvements and monumental changes! Enjoy this wonderful season and be eternally grateful for your tool and the wonderful things of value in your life.

Fondly,
Linda
"A box of rain will ease the pain
and love will see you through."   R. Hunter
Chembe
on 11/21/09 5:50 am
Peggy - girl you're an inspiration to me to have lost 167 (a whole man - as I see it) at almost 9 months out!!!   I say look at what you have done and not so much as to where you're at and keep doing what you have been doing and the rest should come!!  The most important part is that you're healthier now than you were 9 months ago.  I just hope that I have lost somewhere near what you've lost 9 months post-op!!! 


Kim
aprilrose_39
on 11/21/09 12:15 pm
Awww..Peggy..all of us heavyweights can relate to everything you've said.  It's terrible to lose that much weight and STILL be Morbidly Obese.  I think you just have to look at it like this.  You didnt get to 453lbs over night.  It took years, so its gonna take some time to take off the excess weight.  You are 167lbs ligher than you were 9 months ago...
Keep doing what you know is right...no one said this was easy.  But I think that we get lulled into thinking that it is in that honeymoon stage where the weight falls off effortlessly.  I've been 285lbs for almost a month now...and its killing me.  But I know what I have to do and I know that the weight will still come off, just not on my time table.  When I get down on myself, I try and remember that only a few months ago, I couldnt sit in a chair and put my socks and shoes on, sit in a booth at a resturant, fit comfortably behind my steering wheel, walk around Walmart, much less walk a mile, and I didnt have a job..now I do.  Remember the good things to get you thru the bad times.
Good luck dear...weve all been there, or are there...we know your pain.
April
    
peggy76
on 11/21/09 5:01 pm - girardville, PA
 hugsss thanks ladies.... ur a great bunch of women... i luv u all!!


                
RubyEllen
on 11/22/09 2:18 am
Hang in there, Lady. Sounds like they are finding some root causes of the black outs. Meds for depression take 3 weeks to kick in fully. They might add Abilify to give you more anti-depression help. You're in counselling. Eventually it will all come together and you will feel better about yourself.

I come from a long line of depressed females, but I acknowlege my problem and do what I can to make it better. It's usually something kind of small that turns my mood around: a phrase, a new recipe, a new cooking pot, the chair yoga class. All of the sudden my life feels hopeful and manageable. Then I get more energy and can clean more and manage my house better and so on. I never get ALL my "ducks in a row" but sometimes I'm handling life better than others.

You have done a MAJOR accomplishment in losing this much weight. Your health is many times better now. Your emotions just need to catch up with what you've done.

HANG ON. Keep trying new things. Do you need to take an adult ed class and get a new hobby? Read something from the library? You will find your way. Thanks for sharing how it's going. It help people who struggle to know that they are not alone.
 Food is for sissies. REAL women exist on skim milk, protein powder, broth and air.....          
Mary M.
on 11/22/09 12:00 pm - Minneapolis, MN
I think you are amazing - and an inspiration for my journey - thanks for posting and sharing your struggles - we are with you!
Mary

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you CAN do."  John Wooden

 I'm down 120 pounds - thanks to RNY!  Working on the next 25.  Then I'll tackle more...
Stella-Blue
on 11/22/09 4:46 pm, edited 11/22/09 4:46 pm - Where the four winds blow me safely home, NY
Congratulations & welcome to the coolest board on OH!  Nice folks here in over 50 BMI-ville.  WOW on your WL!!!  Aren't jeans fun? 

Start: 487 lbs (8/07) Lost 81 lbs pre op on South Beach. 406 lbs at surgery (6/08). 179 post op, by 2011. I  lost 308 lbs. Gained 98 while pregnant (2012-13) lost all but 25. My goal is to be 179 again!
   siggy1 photo b83557eb-1c5e-4e0a-90b7-89760c2e36e2.jpg   Two years after that.... photo 44fcb3ac-18c4-4dfd-bf38-d324f956cf75.jpg      photo c2781653-fea8-4141-8cac-f0889127d077.jpg  I could not be happier. 

tabbyfree
on 11/30/09 1:02 am - Katy, TX
I'm sorry about all the testing you are having to go thru, but it sounds like you will have an answer sooner than later. I'm glad that you're getting help with the depression and PTSD because once that is managed i'm sure you will feel so much better about everything else...

Now...about the weight loss...i just KNOW you are not complaining are you? LOL I will be 1 year out in 17 more days and trying to lose those last few pounds so that i can say i have officially lost 200lb since the day of my surgery. Including pre op weight loss i have already surpassed that number. I am also now in a size 26 jeans...and have already bought my first pair of 24's...in white no less because i figure i will be in them by spring LOL I'm not sure where I am...super morbidly obese or morbidly obese...it doesn't matter. I knew from the start it would take me probably 2 years to really get to where I want to be and i have accepted that as being my reality, but also the fact that within 2 years i will have accomplished what i have not done in 20 years. I don't care if i'm still fat...i am LESS fat...and everyday the pounds come off i'm less and less fat every day lol

It's ok..it's going to come off. As far as the cravings, when you're feeling better, you will make better decisions because that is what you WANT for yourself. Hang in there...you have more challenges than just the weight, and all things take time to get under control. You are soooo on the right path, and with that said there are stumbles even when you are walking that path.

Be kind to yourself, it's going to be ok
                    
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