Would you go to a support group just for BMI Over 50?

I've been actively participating in my surgery center's support groups since I was a pre-op; in fact, I'm now a volunteer group leader there.  We had a meeting last week that left me feeling really "blech!" about things though, unfortunately.  My surgery center seems to be specializing in lightweights and I am one of very few heavyweights there.  I don't mean to start the heavyweight vs. lightweight argument, but I think it's fair to say that our journeys are different.  And to me personally, when I'm sitting in a group and hear things like "When I first started, I was 250 and I was just HUGE!" is hurtful, since it has taken me a year to get to that weight, and I feel like I've fought tooth and nail to get there.  I've also recently had people ask me when my surgery will be (ummm... it was last year) and this month I had someone ask how I ever go to be 400+.

So my question is this:  if you had the opportunity to go to a support group for those who started with a BMI over 50, would you go?  Would that be more or less interesting to you than a general support group?  I'm considering suggesting this type of group at my center, and I'm trying to get a gauge on if people would be interested or not.  I realize that most of you don't live near me, but it would still be helpful to me to know if this would be a good idea.

What do you think?

Lesley

This is EXACTLY why  don't go to one.  (And why I usually avoid the main board here) It IS hurtful to hear someone ***** about being a weight I consider "good".  I want support, not passive aggressive put downs.  Ugh.

I agree we have different issues than the lightweights, but my clinic's support group doesn't focus on that at all, at least none that I've been to.  I would go to the over 50 bmi, but I would feel sorry for the 45 bmis and on up - like where do you draw the line?   That would be a delimma.  I think my clinic wouldn't opt for the split, since we only get about a dozen at our monthly meeting now.  I think we'd have 3 in the BMI over 50 catagory, maybe 4.  So I just don't know, I guess. 

The other thing is that I'm gutsy enough, I would address that kind of talk in my group.  "Excuse me, but we all start at different sizes and have different goals, let's not discriminate."  or something like that.

Tough question.  Good luck to you.                        

We get around 60-100 people at ours, and once a month it's a 4 hour support group -- the first part is spent in sub-groups, usually divided by stages after surgery (0 to 3 months, 4 to 6 months, etc), then after the lunch break there's a general session.  It was during the general session that a few people made those comments about being huge at 250, and I felt too embarrassed to speak up in front of such a large group.

Those are some good points to consider though.  I'm not sure what the solution is.  I may need to just suck it up and deal with it.

If you're getting that many people at a meeting, I think it's a great idea. If they won't go for it, I'd speak up and at least say something to whoever organizes it about the folks who talk about 250 being soooo fat.

One of the reasons that I quit Weigh****chers after losing 140 pounds (last WL effort) was I got so sick of:

a. People saying stuff like "I have to lose 10 pounds to fit into my old bikini and it's sooooooooo hard" (I live in California.)

b. The standing ovation I'd get everytime I'd hit another five pounds. "And Patti is our biggest loser today with 110... 115... 120 pounds!" When you still have 100 more to go, it just gets annoying.

I did notice the last time I checked that my local WW had started up a special time just for people with 100 lbs or more to lose.

My local group is teeny, so they'd never go for it. But if I could attend yours, I would!

I hear ya about the WW ovations! When I had my surgery I specifically requested that I be left out of any but the big landmark losses....none of the 5/10lbs stuff. It bothered me even before surgery and one of the reasons I quit going after losing 90lb 4 yrs ago.

I would love a support group for people with higher bmi's.  Heck, I'd love a support group that meets more than once a month.  I am lucky to have a close friend that had WLS within 2 months of mine and started out with a high bmi as well.  So she and I compare and complain to each other.  Only problem is, she had VSG and I had RNY..world of difference in many ways.

I say got for it!!  Start the group yourself.  I bet theres more than just you that gets tired of lightweights complaining about being a size that we fought hard to get to.
April

Girl I would so be there!! I am almost three months out and I feel like everyone I know has been maybe the highest weight of 250 or under. I cannot wait to be under 300!! I think it is a little bit of a different journey for us and I would think it would be easier to talk with people who know exactly what you are meaning.

in this day and age with skype and even the chat room on this site.  Why can't we start our own virtual group from the folks right here?????

Hey Lesley, 
I am all the way in Canada; and I sooooooooo agree with you!!!.. If I could afford to get on a plane on a regular basis I most definitely would come also... This is a GREAT Idea!! I applaud your efforts.. All the best to you..I am sure all will work together for the good!!
God Bless,
Angela