I'm still plugging along on the preop diet..

I thought I would let everyone know that I am still on the awful preop diet trying to loose that extra weight the insurance wants. I have lost down to 241  then I gain a few and loose a few. I have been yoyoing from 241 all the way up to 247.  Now here it is just two weeks before the end of the program and I am so scared I am not going to be below the 245 mark.  The more nervous I get the hungrier I get. I feel like I could eat everything in site. Fortunately not much in the house to eat. Only sugar free Popsicles.. I eat so many of them I freeze my nose.. lol...
I go to a support meeting tomorrow I am hoping it will get me back in line.. I have to loose this weight. I have come so far loosing 62 lbs. Now I am so close that I feel like I am loosing the motivation somehow..
My final day with the program is Nov 2nd.. That will be my final phone call. Then I go to my PCP on the 4th for the final weigh in.. On the 9th it is off to the surgeons office.. I am praying the approval will be there then and we can set a date..
I have been 5 years into this how come the last few weeks seem the hardest.. I thought maybe of doing the liquid diet the last week before my final weigh in.. But I feel like I am starving all the time. The liquid diet seems like it will not be as easy as I thought now. I know I can do it I have before but how do I stop this nagging hunger..
ok sorry I needed to vent some.. Just checking in to let everyone know I am still plugging along..

I had to be on a three week liquid diet before surgery. I remember day two crying on my couch telling my husband I was going to order a pizza chew it up and spit it out!! I eventually had to just go to bed and cry it out. It is horrible how food has a hold on us.

This is just one little small hill to climb to the other side. Feel free to vent anytime. We have all been there. Keeping you in  my thoughts and prayers!

Thank I needed a boost.. I know it is a small hill compared to all I ahve done and all there is still coming.. I just feel like this hill is a slippery slope.. I am going to try to do the liquid diet and see if I can break this stall.. I guess I can call it a stall.. I cant get the scale to go down and stay down

I am going to day to buy a bike. It is a used one but I cant afford a new one right now having to come up with the money for the surgery. I am excoted about it even if it is used.

I also bought a stationary bike and a stair climber fro $2 each a a resale store.. I am really happy about that.. Now all I need is a treadmill. Winter is coming on fast and the walking is the easiest thing I can do with my back and knees.. So I am still looking..

Well thanks for the thoughts and prayers . I truely appreciate it. I may need it.. My worse time is at night between 8pm and 11pm.. Tonight should be easier since I will be at the support meeting from 7 to 9 then an hour drive home.. Maybe Ill be so tired I can go to sleep and not want to eat..

Thanks again.

This is why our diets didn't work in the past, Teresa.  We were always hungry.  That's what this diet changes.  The only diet I WASN'T hungry on before was liquid.  After the first couple of days, I just had no appetite.  Just drank the stuff.  I did Optifast twice (lost 100 on it once, 50 the other) and two weeks of liquid before my recent RNY (3 weeks ago).  They are actually easier for me, although not forever.

Mary thaks for your reply... Wasnt Optifast fun.. only to gain it all back after all those months of not eating..  I just cant wait for this surgery.. I have been on this diet since last December and I have almost had it.. Just like all the others we get discouraged and want to give up.

Well I cant give up.. The surgery is my first prize to reach and then my weight goal and hopefully to stay there forever.. I have to look forward and not go back into the old routine so close now.
I need all the support I can get.. I feel like I am sitting on the edge of a cliff ready to fall off. I have to hang on..

I am going to try to do the liquid maybe it will break this cycle of want to eat.. You are right ,, when I was on Optifast I didnt want to eat.. I drank myself into oblivian...lol...
I am going to try again to get into that mode.. wish me luck,,,

No way Teresa are you going to give up.  Reach for that prize and you will get it.  You have been through so many obstacles and you will prevail.

Jupiter6 from the Roux-N-Y Board has given us this mantra:  YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.  You can do this. 

Hang in there--I did the Medifast (same thing), didn't eat for 6 months, felt guilty for taking the communion bread, lost 120 pounds and regained 20 pounds in 3 weeks when I could eat.  Obviously the cycle continued.  I did that 20 years ago. 

I had to do the 3 week liquid and 2 day clear liquid before surgery.  I know that this is hard and I wanted to chew my arm off but I was able to tough it out.  After surgery, I would cry at the sight of a Subway Meatball Marinara (which I never really cared about) because I was angry that I couldn't eat it.  I know what you are feeling like--I experienced a lot of those emotions after surgery but all of this will pass. 

This part is tough--post op it will be rough but you will have the tool to help you towards success.  I as well as others are here for you and don't drink anything bu****er and crystal light into oblivian-lol. 

Take things one day at a time.  Everything will work out--you have worked so hard for this.

Hugs and angel's wings

Sylvia

 

Thanks for the pep talk Sylvia .. I went to the support meeting tonight and it has seemed to help too.

I know it is hard but I have never had this much trouble.. It is like my body is just wanting food.. Well I started the liquid diet today... I have drank a gallon or more of water.. I have had the protein shakes and tonight I have eaten 10 popsicles.. frozen nose again..lol

Yes I can only drink the right things into oblivian.. I dont do alcholol and I gave up soda a year ago.. But I feel like a walking slush machine.. My tummy slushes when I move around..

I am not going to give up.. I am going to do this.. The hunger just has to take a back door now.. IT is too late in the game to say well one little bite of this or that wont hurt.. So no food is how I am going to try to break this yo yo thing I ahve going on..

I need the support of all of you.. I can't  help but feel the motivation come back when I get the encouragement from all of you ...

Onward.. Onward.   I cant fail now.. YES I CAN DO THIS>>   I like the mantra from Jupiter. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS>>   I CAN DO HARD THINGS>>>

Thanks for the hugs.. and angel wings.. I needed that.

Yeah that time of night is my worse time too. I think because before surgery I could go all day while working without eating then at night I would relax cause Iwas tired and eat. And thats why I got as big as I did..lol. Now it is just the head hunger I struggle with cause I am seriously not hungry.

Good luck to you. Stay strong girl!!

I am working on staying strong.. I ate a whole box of popsicles last night.
I am going to freeze my brain if nothing else so it wont tell me I am hungry.. lol.

thanks for all the support..

Teresa, I know exactly where you are at.  The last month before my surgery was the hardest.  I was feeling so sick of losing weight preop.  There was many moments I felt like I just could not take one more minute of it!  I ended up going heavy on the protein shakes near the end and sticking to extremely low fat protein and yogurt.  If i could muddle through I know you can.  The prize is in sight and you will be grabbing it soon and holding onto it forever.  Be frustrated as hell and do it anyway.  I just got to the point where I just had to tough it out and keep telling myself it is only a little while longer.  I can make it.