Trouble making decisions, fears etc

Hey everyone! I need some help. My weight is getting out of control again. I've never had WLS. Things are changing. North Carolina's health insurances are starting to rally against obesity in a whole new way. Coverage for patient who are clinically obese are getting less and less coverage the higher their BMI. Also, I Just found out that the nursing program that I'm hoping to get into in less than a year, may be restricting students who are over a certain level of obesity from even being able to be in the program. Not to mention that I feel like my comorbities are intensifing. I feel like my poor diet and lack of exercise is getting me closer and closer to the edge of diabetes, and high blood pressure. After mid december I'll have 2 semesters off from school and have been thinking about WLS again. I'm leaning towards lap band (which because of insurance guidelines I can't have until my BMI is below 50, aka 60-70 lbs) because GB's removal of small intenstine scares me. Mostly because theres no real research about the long term affects and malnutrition. I really need some advice, new perspectives right now. I'm feeling really lost and I don't know what would be best. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hey there; sounds like you know alot already. Are you positive you need a BMI less than 50 for lap band? The guidelines here are less than 60. I was right at BMI of 60 and I'm 57 and the surgeon was very willing to band me. I had to lose 10% for insurance to pay, though, and I'm almost there.

Most folks on this board are doing RNY as the results are more dramatic and I think statistics are maybe more favorable for this surgery if you have a really high BMI. I'm going for a lap band as I fear malabsorption of my meds and nutrients. HOWEVER lap band presents another whole set of problems: dilated esophagus and other stuff. Some people are really liking the DS, so this is something else to consider.

The BEST thing I've done for myself is see a counselor for a few months. It wasn't cheap, even with insurance paying half, but I run pretty depressed most of the time and really had little insight into my own thinking or behavior. I saw someone who did cognitive behavioral therapy. It wasn't earth shaking, but I started being a victim less and I started being kinder to myself. I thin****il we solve some core issues, no matter WHAT we do in terms of diet or surgery, we'll self destruct.

Just study and read and think and see how it feels. Eventually you'll figure out what you need and when. I was close to surgery 5 yrs ago, but not ready. Now I'm totally ready.

You'll find your way. It has to start with you valuing yourself and your own health and believing in your abilities.

I know how you feel.  I spent about 4 years in Kentucky trying to get WLS with no avail.  It just wasnt covered under the insurance I had, and nothing I or the Dr's that wrote to the insurance could change that.  I moved to California almost 3 years ago, got wonderful insurance that covered WLS and still had to lose 80lbs before the surgery.  Not for insurance purposes, but because the surgeon required it.  My point to all that is to say, there are challenges to having WLS, so keep at it, and do what you have to do.
And as for the nursing program, I think its ashame that they can descriminate against you for your size.  That kind of descrimination is the only kind that is openly allowed, and its just wrong.  Who are they to say that because of your size you cant do something?  Let you try and see what you can and cant do.  It just angers me and I hope that you fight it.
Having all those difficulties just makes over eating all the more easy.  You get the thought in your head, "whats the point in trying, everythings against me"...and its hard to get past that.  Get some help.  See a therapist.  Dont give up.  You can do it!  Go see a weight loss surgeon.  Go to the seminar, and let them help you with getting insurance approval.  There are lots of different kinds of weight loss surgeries.  One is best for you.
Keep you head up!! You can do it!

 i fully agree that the journey needs to start with some therapy.  Understanding your triggers and how to modify those actions will be key to your journey.  It looks like you have done your research and now it is time for you to continue to weigh those options and continue to collect data.  Try making some lifestyle changes, exercise, changes in eating habits even as simple as eating a healthy breakfast with protein will help curb your cravings later in the day.  i am still amazed at how making just a minor adjustment like moving to complex carbs rather than simple carbs can make in how you feel and what you eat/crave.  

As far as the decision on what procedure to have, no one can make that decision but you.  WLS is a serious step that you need to be ready for in all ways.  It is a lifetime commitment to change.  I opted for RNY because I did not want a foreign object in my body and the whole "fills" process I knew would drive me nuts.  Knowing that my blood work would be closely monitored helped alleviate the fears on the malabsorption but I do have to take lots of supplements now and monitor my intake to make sure that I am getting what I need.  

If your area has support groups for WLS that is also a great way to learn more about what it is like to live with the different procedures, see what people struggle with etc. and find a community for support and encouragement.  Check it out.  
Good luck and keep posting as you make your way through this journey!