Does this ever stop?

Yesterday was rough.

I had some tests done so I wasnt able to drink my morning shake. I was behind a shake all day. By the time I left work I had had 3 shakes (I only do half the protien powder in them because otherwise I cant finish them). On the way home I caught myself thinking, why don't I just stop somewhere and pick up food. WHAT?! I've been on this liquid diet for two weeks tomorrow and I have been in my program for WLS since February. I know better. I know that I'm just hungry and need another shake or some juice. Why do I always get it in my mind that im "starving" and need to eat now now now?

I was strong enough that I said to myself.. you are almost home, just go home. But at the same time, I was really dissapointed in myself for even thinking of that. Does this ever stop? Will I ever get over the I'm hungry feed me now now now thing? It's almost like a panic attack and it's all mental. I've been working so hard on this and I feel like I just took 20 steps backwards. :\

Do you guys have this happen to you?

Karmie - take a deep breath!  You did EXACTLY the right thing.  It's normal to have temptations and to be realistic - we will always have them.  We need to work on the way we react to them.  You did the right thing.

Someone once told me guilt was useless after eating something, that the time to question the decision was BEFORE we put it in our mouth.  Question it and make the right decision.  This surgery (mine is tomorrow, btw) is not a miracle cure.  Just a tool to help us be able to get this long journey started!

Keep on going - you are doing great and will make the surgery easier by staying on the liquids!

I think it's pretty normal to be tempted many times a day. Every time we drive by a place where we used to find the "comfort" of pastries, pizza, burgers, ice cream or whatever, we want to pull in - or at least I do. I'm having some of your feelings of freaking out too. Sometimes I even make it home, but the time it takes to make a salad seems too long and I pop something else in my mouth. I have no idea why we fear "starving" so much, but we've got to learn to stop the thoughts that are spinning out of control.

Mary's advice to deep breathe is actually good advice. I do chair yoga on Tues mornings and I love it. I can think more clearly after my class. I get things in perspective. I think we heavy folks are an uptight bunch in our heads. I've been noticing how many hundreds or thousands of times a day I'm in the middle of watching tv or doing a craft or working and my mind goes to food. I think about what I already ate, what I want to eat, or what someone else is eating. Food agitates me.

I'm being helped some by hot chai tea (chai teabag brewed with added Splenda, skim milk and a little light Coffee mate). I also do better if I have a water bottle with me AT ALL TIMES, so I can keep drinking my way thru the temptations. I'm trying to have nice music on when I can and use aroma therapy to calm down.

I did some cognitive behavioral therapy and we can't control our feelings, but we are supposed to be able to control our thoughts and actions. I still don't quite know how to get my thoughts under control.

We'll figure it out, though.

Thank you for your support Ladies. I am so glad that I am not the only one. My psychologist says that thin people think differently than heavy people. They can ignore their hunger urges because they are doing something else, it is inconvienent to be hungry so they forget about it. I want to think like a thin person, but I have a feeling that I will always struggle with this.

I hope that it does get a bit better once I am off the liquids though :)

Unfortunately I think it is how are brains are wired.  We can work on behavior modification and tools like distraction and delaying ourselves until we get home and can eat something more appropriate but I think we will always be thinking about food.   I live with a normal weight person and sometimes he feels weird and then he will realize oh, he has not eaten in 2 days.  I am always amazed. I always am thinking about food.  How can one possibly FORGET TO EAT!  I dont think I will ever be like that.  I just started yesterday to do liquid protein shakes only from now until my surgery 10/20, basically 3 weeks.  I promised my surgeon I would lose another 15 before then and I have been kind of basically maintaining since I saw her 9/3 so I have to rev it up.  But, now that I am on day 2 of shakes, I am thinking of food constantly.  On my break just now, I went and did 3 errands and there are reminders that FOOD IS EVERYWHERE and can be obtained FAST at every turn.  I made it home and had a triple protein shake.  Now back to work for me.  It is not a stretch to understand why the US is so large compared to other countries, we have food everywhere, available anytime 24/7.  But I do think there is hope for us to learn how to manage this.  But I dont think it goes away really.  I fear I will always be wondering what I will be eating for dinner by 2 pm.  But now it will be chicken and veggies or something else healthy not pizza or McDonalds. 

I had the same thing happen to me the day I had to have my blood work.  I was starving.  I had the same thoughts as you.  I keep thinking to myself, your doing good you can make it home to have some broth you can make it home, you don't need that, look what it has done to you.

Today I had to go downtown, as I was driving back out of town I kept seeing all my favorite stops that I use to stop at after work.  It was a little easier today.  Keep think  surgery is in 1 week I can do this.

I'm so glad you were able to get home to a protein shake.  You can do it we all can do it.  You did not take 20 steps backwards, you took 20 large steps forward because you didn't stop. 

Donna and Deanna, Thank you :)

It is so true that this is how our brains are wired. We have to find a way to work around it, make the right choices and push through urges that are not healthy. This is why we are the way we are and we need to change it.

 Don't beat yourself up for having the thoughts, instead celebrate that you didn't act upon them!