Feel like a failure

Thank you all for your support. I really appricate it!

I did do a year of theropy before surgery, and we really worked out a lot of things, but i guess we didn't touch the food issue, or realize that the food issue was so strong to cause such a problem after surgery. We thought I ate to make myself unloveable. But I guess it goes deeper then that. I liked this social worker, but he moved.

I have my 1st appointment on Tuesday. I'm seeing a PhD guy, who i saw once before for my insurance psych evaul before surgery. I've decieded to go to him for 2 reasons. 1 I liked him, he seemed really nice and 2. he specializes in Eating Disorders. Its hard to think of myself as having an eating disorder, becuase you think of anaorixia or beliuma as the only eating disorder, but i'm begining to see that that isn't that true.

My other fear is is that i've broke my surgery. That maybe i screwed it up by eating too much. I know the switch part is fine, but the sleeve part...what if i streached my tummy out to much? I'm also past the year mark, what if it's too late. I know that the 2nd fear is silly, but i still fear it.

Thank you for listening to me vent!

Wow, I posted this very post today on the VSG forum!  It is like you read my mind.  I have lost 153.5 lbs and I had my surgery 2/10/09.  I have completely stopped losing and eating all the wrongs things.... I don't know why or what to do either!!!  I have never felt more like a failure in my whole life!  I can't believe that we would put ourselves through this surgery and then not do what we need to do to have the life we wanted.  I know exactly how you feel and I so hope and pray you find the will and courage to say no and do what you know you need to do.  I hope that I also do, we have come so far, where will we go if we don't change???

many prayers for you!!
Karen B