Need some thoughts!!!

I wasn't sure where to post this question. But I thought I'd try here first.  Lately my husband has been behaving weird, different. I've known him since I was 5yrs old; that's over 30yrs. But I get the feeling that he's annoyed with me for some reason. I can't pinpoint it but I'm not going crazy either. Ever since I can remember, he's been very supportive. We even drink our protein shakes together if you can believe that. I'm wondering if you all might think it has to do with my weightloss?? He walks with me in the afternoons and exercises with me too. I don't want to believe that because we have been thru so much together, but I just don't know. Please help!

Oh dear, I have no personal experience with this as my husband is pretty distant all the time, but this must happen quite a bit as my physician warned me about it. She said you never know how your family will react and they might not be supportive. She especially warned me that my husband might be weird.

I guess you don't want to just ask him what's going on? Say, "I may be being paranoid, but it seems to me that you have been.......lately and it worries me." Don't blame him for anything. Just tell him you've noticed a chance in his attitude or behavior and that it is affecting your mood and can he put your mind at ease. He might not talk, but then again, you might get a hint.

Good luck. Don't give up on a good long term relationship easily.

Sweetie
My hubby is wonderful also and we went thru a spell like this.

I would have loved to have blamed him but it was me reading to much into the situation..Just talk to him and make sure nothing is bothering him..

I know at one point my hubby did get alittle jealous..

Hang in there sweetie..huggs

You are still reasonably early out. Its possible you might be a little paranoid as your body struggles to deal with the changes and throws hormones around. Talk with him about it and see if that doesnt make it better. if not, maybe you can discuss getting into counselling together. He might be willing if you emphasize its for you to help you deal with the changes the surgery is bringing into your life.

Lynda, that's excellent advice. We forget how the hormones can impact mood, esp. those of use of a certain age (ahem).

RubyEllen, my hubby can be very distant too and I feel like we are getting more distant as I get smaller, more roommates than spouses. He's not really a partner. I call him and my adult step-son "the boys" because that is what they act like.

I was willing to settle for that at 450 lbs, but now I'm less content. I want a partner in life. I wish I could get him to joint counseling. We both go to separate docs for our psych meds, but he does not see value in counseling. Maybe if I can phrase it in terms of it being something I need....

Thank you all so much!! I did speak to him and we agreed that we were both a little off. He said he was trying to be more aware of the way he was "behaving" and may have been trying too hard. I too admit that I have been more aware of my moods. And I have to admit that I have been swinging...with my moods that is! LOL! I asked my sister and she agreed with me. I told her if she ever caught me doing that again, to please make me aware of it. It IS a strange feeling to be going thru so many changes so fast. And I'm realizing that as I'm losing a part of me that has been with me since as long as I can remember, I'm also affecting those people around me, as they are also going thru some adjustments. I have expected them to be patient with me, and I've realized that I, too, need to be understanding that this is hard for them too. Thanks OH family! You all are the best!! I appreciate you all opening yourselves up to me and letting me know that this is "normal" in our lifechanging experience. Love you all!!!