Dealing with the negativity around you :(

My ONLY support system really is my mother and sister and they are pretty negative... every day ....  I am ABSOLUTELY going to have one of these surgeries and I am going to move ahead in my life and be happy.... but my mother tells me every single day that I will never get it done, I will never get the funding.. etc etc and one night she even told me that if I did have it I would die!!!  She followed it with all these horror stories and Im so sad.... :(     My sister tells me "just diet"  *sigh*

Ive been doing everything I can... I think...  I talked to my insurance company and they informed me that my plan covered NO surgeries of any kind no matter what.  I have applied for Medicare/caid I cant ever remember which one it is... but  I will most likely get it but it's pending until Sept 17th minimum due to computer/network issues I guess.  Most local people I know who have had a bariatric surgery did it through the medicare/caid (sorry)  system.  I've stayed married for insurance reasons but it looks like maybe getting divorced and having the other benefits might be better for this. LOL 

Anyway, my point is that I am not giving up hope but I'm having a bit of a struggle with so much negativity around.  thanks for listening

Jessie

Well, I think that sometimes other people have an "interest" in keeping us fat.  They don't want you to change, to become different - it threatens them.  Maybe they like for you to go out and eat with them and they don't feel guilty about what they eat that way - or maybe they like that you aren't active and are more like them and stay home more - and change scares them, they are afraid to lose "you."  I don't know you so I'm pretty much just making things up, but hopefully you see what I'm getting at.

I've been married for 10 years and my husband and both young children are thin.  My husband is supportive, but he says things like, "When you lose a lot of weight, I won't be able to keep up with you..."  or "I hope you don't leave me when you lose all that weight..."  These are his own fears and insecurities.  So, even though he wants me to be healthy and feel better again - he does have a vested interest in me staying overweight - it makes him feel more secure that way.  I don't even think he realizes that he says it and I think if I pointed it out to him, he'd feel horrible.

((HUGS)) Hang in there.  Find support elsewhere.

 I totally understand the "surrounded with negativity" thing.. ugh... My husband and family are all half glass empty ppl.. nothing is ever enough...  constant complainers all of them.. i somehow used to always be an bright side girl.. rainy day... oh how nice... the flowers needed watering..  flat tire....  oh look i met a really nice person who stopped to help me... u know? i lost that for a few yrs i let their negativity suck me in.. but since surgery and losing some weight.. im becoming my old self again.. and i love it.. coming on here HELPS!! it truely does... reading inspiring stories, advice, seeing ur not the only one.. its a great support system..  i too have stayed married for insurance reasons... lucky mine worked out...  dont let their negativity keep u down.. Do what u feel is best for u.. and go about it however u have to.. as other poster said... they think its in their best interest to keep u just as u are... thats what they are comfortable with... sad but true... 

It's hard when those folks who should be a support system are a drain instead of a help. I don't have much to do with my brother or cousin, as they cause me stress, not happiness.

It is so hard to do what is best for YOU. Congrats on doing so. And you will find plenty of support here, and maybe even find someone on a similar path near you!

Tell your mom that you won't listen to any more negative talk and don't.  Change the subject, tell her again, suddenly get busy, whatever it takes to cut her off politely each and every time.  Good luck, Loris