Disappointed in myself...but am I being too hard on myself?
It's been a long time since I posted on here, but I am feeling blue about my weight loss and my personal goal for myself. I had RNY on 08/29/09 and have lost a total of 184 pounds since May of 2008 (includes pre-op loss of 47 lbs and the rest since 8/29). I realize this is nothing to "sneeze" at, but I wanted to have lost 200 pounds by my one year surgervisary and I do not think it's gonna happen. I am 16 pounds away and I have a little over 3 weeks left....and let me say, the weight is coming off very S-L-O-W at this point. I still have more weight to lose, but it is not as easy as it once was......I am so disappointed in myself. I really thought when I made this personal goal several months back, I would do it with ease.....the scale has stopped moving and now I feel like I failed.......
I suggest you stop that negative thinking and go immediately right now to the nearest mirror, look at your self and say "Hello you gorgeous wonderful woman! Look at how amazing you are! You just lost 184 pounds in less than a year! You can do anything you want! You are simply AMAZING!" YOU JUST LOST 184 POUNDS IN LESS THAN A YEAR! So what if you cant lose 16 more pounds in the next 3 weeks. Life is a journey. You will get there. Celebrate your success one day at a time. Years ago I read a couple of books by Louise Hay about positive thinking. One is called You can heal your life. You may find them helpful. Please stop feeling bad and start celebrating your amazing accomplishments. Think of all the things you can do now you couldn't do 184 pounds ago.
Woman, 184 pounds in one year is FREAKIN' AMAZING!!! Give yourself some credit!
Approach the weight loss goal like a math problem. Take the weight you are now and tack a zero to the end of it--those are the approximate number of calories you can eat without gaining weight. Now take the goal weight and do the same thing--that's the amount of calories you will be able to eat and maintain that smaller weight. Decide how much you want to lose per week--say, 2 pounds--and figure on cutting 3,500 calories per pound per week.
7,000 calories a week means living on 1,000 calories less than what I could eat and not gain wait. If I weigh 300 pounds, I could eat 3,000 cal per day and call it good. If I only eat 2,000 cal per day, I will lose roughly 2 pounds a week. You get bonus points for activities that make you sweat! When I run for 4.5 miles, I burn about 400 calories. I can either eat to compensate (one lousy candy bar, peeps!) or get that much closer to furthering my weight loss. It's up to me.
Keeping a diet journal is the absolute BEST thing to do to TAKE CONTROL of your eating and give yourself props for good stuff like drinking water and your physical activities. I also eat a lot of Very Veggie salad mix, and I don't count calories that come from cucumbers, tomatoes, salad mix, radishes, bean pods, etc. because they have plenty of roughage and water and just processing them in my body probably burns more than I take in!
I have a half bag of salad mix, plus half a cucumber and a handful of grape tomatoes for lunch, with 2 tablespoons of whatever dressing I like. The dressing is 120 calories and that's the only thing that counts in that meal! Plus, it is essential fiber, and takes a long, long time to eat, so I know I won't be finished before any of my buddies and just have to sit there watching them eat.
Ooh--another thing I do is knit or crochet while watching TV. I used to be a heavy duty TV snacker, and having something to occupy my hands HELPS A LOT in that regard! I also make sure I have a night time snack that's not too bad for me--usually Smart Pop from Orville Redenbacher's. That brand pops the most kernels with the least amount of old maids. My kid did a science project on it last year and O.R. beat out Jolly Time and PopSecret hands down!
Anyway, give yourself props from your successes and learn from your failures. What's the old saying? "Fall down 7 times, STAND UP 8!!"
Approach the weight loss goal like a math problem. Take the weight you are now and tack a zero to the end of it--those are the approximate number of calories you can eat without gaining weight. Now take the goal weight and do the same thing--that's the amount of calories you will be able to eat and maintain that smaller weight. Decide how much you want to lose per week--say, 2 pounds--and figure on cutting 3,500 calories per pound per week.
7,000 calories a week means living on 1,000 calories less than what I could eat and not gain wait. If I weigh 300 pounds, I could eat 3,000 cal per day and call it good. If I only eat 2,000 cal per day, I will lose roughly 2 pounds a week. You get bonus points for activities that make you sweat! When I run for 4.5 miles, I burn about 400 calories. I can either eat to compensate (one lousy candy bar, peeps!) or get that much closer to furthering my weight loss. It's up to me.
Keeping a diet journal is the absolute BEST thing to do to TAKE CONTROL of your eating and give yourself props for good stuff like drinking water and your physical activities. I also eat a lot of Very Veggie salad mix, and I don't count calories that come from cucumbers, tomatoes, salad mix, radishes, bean pods, etc. because they have plenty of roughage and water and just processing them in my body probably burns more than I take in!
I have a half bag of salad mix, plus half a cucumber and a handful of grape tomatoes for lunch, with 2 tablespoons of whatever dressing I like. The dressing is 120 calories and that's the only thing that counts in that meal! Plus, it is essential fiber, and takes a long, long time to eat, so I know I won't be finished before any of my buddies and just have to sit there watching them eat.
Ooh--another thing I do is knit or crochet while watching TV. I used to be a heavy duty TV snacker, and having something to occupy my hands HELPS A LOT in that regard! I also make sure I have a night time snack that's not too bad for me--usually Smart Pop from Orville Redenbacher's. That brand pops the most kernels with the least amount of old maids. My kid did a science project on it last year and O.R. beat out Jolly Time and PopSecret hands down!
Anyway, give yourself props from your successes and learn from your failures. What's the old saying? "Fall down 7 times, STAND UP 8!!"
To be very honest with you, not only does 184 sound like a dream - it's a miracle to me! I am waiting and with my high BMI (62) there are so many uncomfortable moments, it seems unlikely I'd ever loose as much as you have! But everything is relative. Just remember to count the blessings of your loss and that everything you've done to this point will make you healthier. 200 is ONLY A NUMBER. It isn't important. We give way to much power to the scale. Best of luck and continued success to you.
Mary
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you CAN do." John Wooden
I'm down 120 pounds - thanks to RNY! Working on the next 25. Then I'll tackle more...
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you CAN do." John Wooden
I'm down 120 pounds - thanks to RNY! Working on the next 25. Then I'll tackle more...
I agree that you're doing an amazing job and have nothing to complain about. Step away from the scale for a little while and give yourself a break already!
SO WHAT if it takes 13 or 14 or even 15 months to meet your goal. Your loss to date is FANTASTIC!
You're doing something and it is working! Everyone loses at their own pace, and most do slow down as they get closer to the end of their main 18-24 month weight loss window regardless of which surgery they have. Plus plateaus happen to everyone too - it's normal.
Remember life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans!
My own journey weight loss has slowed dramatically recently and I'm only 5 months out. I expect that I'm on a plateau and it will pass but it's really annoying to be so close to an intermediate goal and then not get there as fast. I'm about to drop below 300 lbs but the closer I get the slower I'm losing (or at least it seems that way). I told my wife more than a month ago that we could have a little party when I got to twoterville. At the time it looked like it would be only a couple of weeks. It seems my body had other plans! At my current loss rate it'll be more likely to happen around labor day.
SO WHAT if it takes 13 or 14 or even 15 months to meet your goal. Your loss to date is FANTASTIC!
You're doing something and it is working! Everyone loses at their own pace, and most do slow down as they get closer to the end of their main 18-24 month weight loss window regardless of which surgery they have. Plus plateaus happen to everyone too - it's normal.
Remember life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans!
My own journey weight loss has slowed dramatically recently and I'm only 5 months out. I expect that I'm on a plateau and it will pass but it's really annoying to be so close to an intermediate goal and then not get there as fast. I'm about to drop below 300 lbs but the closer I get the slower I'm losing (or at least it seems that way). I told my wife more than a month ago that we could have a little party when I got to twoterville. At the time it looked like it would be only a couple of weeks. It seems my body had other plans! At my current loss rate it'll be more likely to happen around labor day.
highest weight 425lbs
- surgery weight 400lbs 
- goal weight 199lbs
I totally understand how you feel! I was in the same place a few weeks ago and I thought long and hard about it and started getting more determined about this journey. I wanted to be down 200lbs by my one year visit but I was 195 lbs that day then had my period and was down 202 the next... I am learning that I can't control my body and when I get upset about it I start repeating the saying... I have to move to loose... Even if it means just getting up and down from my seat at work more... You will make it just have to keep going and not let this get to you... Keep hanging around this board I have got more from it then the main one...
Best wishes!
Best wishes!
Thank you to everyone for your posts! I will look hard at myself and what I am doing and NOT doing and I believe I will get to my goal....losing 200 pounds is not my final destination either.....since I am headed for my goal, I HAVE to go all the way! I still would love to lose 50 more pounds.......I'll do it......but in my body's time, not mine! Hard to accept that.....
I need to eat less "crap", drink more water, exercise more, and it WILL happen!
Thanks again!
I need to eat less "crap", drink more water, exercise more, and it WILL happen!
Thanks again!
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