I was just at my hairdresser

and she was telling me about her sister who had gastric bypass in California.  Her sister gained all her weight back (in three years).  She eats surgar and fried food all the time and gets sick.  Now she is going for a revision.  I told her that it sounded like her sister was working hard at gaining her weight back and that she shouldn't have a revision until she learns how to eat the right food.  I really like my hairdresser and hope I didn't offend her.  I think I was right though.  What do you think?

i told this to somebody once, how they needed to learn self control before getting a second wls and they scolded back at me saying 'if you knew self control yourself you wouldnt of need rny in the first place!!!"

i was like ummm ok . but anyways point is you never know whats going to tickle other peoples pickles, even thou you are trying to be sincere and help him or her.

im sure you didnt offend her or she may have said something. and regardless its her sister your talking about not her personally!!

i think you did the right thing !
<3
am

Thanks Almonds.  She finished rather quickly, but didn't let on if she was mad or not.  I hope not.  I hope it will help her talk to her sister.  I did mean it in the spirit of helping, not scolding.  I just hope she took it that way. 

FI also told her that I don't like diarreha or vomiting so I didn't plan on eating sugars or fried foods and she said her sister ate those a lot and got sick. 

Best laid plans...I only hope I can stick by this in the years to come and don't go following in her footsteps.

some people just cant take the truth! 
good luck! im with ya on hoping for the future ! i hope nothing ever gets in my way of my new found life and journey.

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I think if someone told me that story I'd say something real noncommittal like "everyone is different, it's too bad it didn't work." 

But you know your hairdresser, it sounds like she knew that sugar and fried food with RNY isn't a good idea. I guess it depends on her relationship with her sister and her opinion of weight loss surgery whether she'd be offended or not. I would hope that her sister's revision doc would give her the spiel about eating right -- but maybe I'm just a naive newbie.

  However, if someone told me that they had a family member that wasn't doing well fighting their lung cancer, I surely wouldn't say "well, he shoulda never started smoking." I don't think failed WLS is any different.

Just my .02.

If she has a revision to a DS, she can eat all the fatty stuff she wants.  However, getting sugar consumption under control is essential with all the WLSs.

I think Mojave Patti is right--there has to be some type of criteria for revision like there is for WLS.  I don't think most surgeons will do a revision under those cir****tances unless the person can demonstrate a commitment to change--much like all of us with our surgeries.

I think having WLS is sort of like being pregnant--you hear all the horror birth stories.  Also, depending on when she had her surgery, things may be different.  You may want to mention that you plan to take advantage of all the support you have offered (support groups, OH board, etc). 

Some people may be against it for a lot of reasons and their responses are shadowed by that.

It is difficult not to come back with that response when you are excited about WLS and someone attempts to rain on your parade.  I think you did the right thing at the time.

Sylvia

You said nothing wrong, it's the truth.
When someone says to me they know blah, blah, blah and they gained all their weight back, I just reply to them: WLS is not the magic bullet, the key to success is...and it's very simple:
Lifestyle change (it's not a diet), Moderation and Exercise. Follow a few simple rules like eating protein first then fresh veggie/fruits and never drink with meals. Simple? Well, no it isn't but that's what we have to do.

Yep, you were right...don't kill the messenger.

Hi,
I had a revision 4 months ago from a stomach stapling in 1987.  I was 25 when I had the first procedure and now I am 46 - part of the reason my earlier surgery failed was my behavior, but part of it was a failure of the procedure - a staple line disruption....fast forward 22 years...older, hundreds of pounds lost and regained, lost and regained...been around the block more times than I care to remember.  I came to the decision to seek a revision because through my research I learned the procedure I had was rarely done anymore in the US because of its high failure rate and because surgery is currently the treatment of choice for morbidly obese people.  I knew I could lose weight, what I needed (need) is a decent opportunity to keep the weight off.   Losing weight is the easier part of the journey by far...It took me a long time to get over the "shame" of a failed weight loss procedure ...

The fact is, is unless the hairdresser's sister is going to self pay, unless their is some failure from her previous surgery - beyond pouch stretching - she is going to have a very difficult time having insurance pay for it...I don't know if "learning to eat the right food" is going to do it - I think getting a little insight into why she is behaving self-destructively - would be most helpful....behaviors don't come out of sky - there usually is a reason for them.  I went to counseling and continue in counseling with a therapist from an eating disorder clinic to deal with my history of compulsive eating and other issues...in fact that therapist wrote a letter of support for me to have the revision...

I guess I am responding to your post out of my experience of having others tell me what they think I ought to do about my weight/food issues  and the shame I experienced with a failed weight loss surgery.- most grown up people who are morbidly obese are well aware of the fact and truth is, I tended to react badly to those types of conversations -- I had to be sick and tired of being sick an tired.  Nobody could tell me when I had enough.   I had to decide I'd been around the same block enough.  I had to find the courage somewhere within myself to try again.  I don't regret having had the stomach stapling - it freed me in many ways beyond just the weight.

I don't think you were wrong, but my question would be  were you  helpful? ( and please know I don't mean this in some mean, flaming fashion).

Best wishes to us all,

Rhonda

I don't think telling the "truth" is a wise idea when you don't know the entire cir****tance. 

Have you ever said anything bad about a relative expecting someone just to nod and validate you only to hear them say something compeltely offensive?  It's one of those family things....I can say bad things about my sister, but if anyone else says bad things about her...they'd better watch out.

I have a hard time fitting into the wls community because I find x-fatties to be the most judgemental people of all.

You cannot know more about this woman than her surgeon, period.  Surgeons don't just redo anyone.

grrrr.