Dealing with "lightweights"

Maybe it is just me, but I find myself jealous of people who are "smart" enough to have WLS before their BMI is over 50.  I am 8 months out from surgery and have lost 120 pounds, and am meeting people who have their WLS at my current weight.  It is just frustratng to know how hard I have worked, just to be passed up by people who are 2 - 3 months post-op.

I know people have WLS for many reasons, and we all have to travel our own journey, but it is so disheartening when I see people with my same surgery date who are in a size 8 or 10 (or even smaller).  It makes me think that I am doing something very wrong.

Anyone else have these feelings?  How do you deal with them?

Reenie

I understand what your saying.... howevery I think you answered your own question too!!  You have to remember how far you have come... Yes others have the WLS at a lot lower starting weight, so they get to goal quicker, or down to whatever size quicker.  You can't let others wt loss, get you down.  You are doing great... 120# down in 8 months... and you will be able to keep it off!!  What an accomplishment!!!  I think everyone has there own "awakening" as to when they need to pursue WLS.  I think it has also become more available in recent years. Just be glad that you chose to have it, and think of how much healthier you are for it!!!

Keep up the good work!!

Caroline

My question has broader implications than your post.

Why does someone else's success have to mean you are a failure by comparison?

This is something I ask myself on a regular basis to try to keep it real.

I understand your post and have felt frustration too.   Put your focus back on your goals and success.

-Dawn

On March 17, 2009 at 4:32 AM Pacific Time, DawnD wrote:

"...Why does someone else's success have to mean you are a failure by comparison?"


That is brilliant!  Thank you for expressing so succinctly something with which so many of us struggle.  It's akin to the old adage, think before you speak.  Just asking the question acts to refocus our attentions to where they're most needed and important; our own health and progress.  Very very zen!

Amy

i, too, had problems with this. when i first had surgery, i mostly hung out on my surgery date board, but soon people were at their goals and i was just beginning. i was so happy when they started this bmi over 50 board so i could interact with people whose situations were like mine! stick around here!

deb

xoxo and hugs. i understand how you feel. what i tell my self is that everyone is a light weight to someone else. no matter how big u are...there is someone bigger than you. someone wishing they were your size. the grass is always greener on the other side. just focus on the fact you got approval, had the surgery and lost an amazing 120lbs!!!!!!!!!!

 

Congratulations on your weight loss!!

I guess I feel that everyone, no matter what their size has the same struggles I do. Just because they have less to lose doesn't mean they didn't work as hard as I did to lose it.

I didn't do this to be in a certain size, I did it to be a healthy me at whatever size that may be.

Don't compare, it's always causes problems. Just do the very best you can for yourself!

Thanks everyone for helping me to put things back in perspective.  I have come a very long way, and can't forget that!!  It just goes to show that I am still a major work in progress!

Hope everyone had a Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Reenie

I know exactly what you're talking about.

I am a Lap Band patient and often patients with a BMI o 35 are being banded.  They are in my same support group and often brag about being 1/2 to their goal when they have only lost 35 lbs.  I get sad because I am not half way yet and I've lost 140lbs!    I let this bother me for months and this last month, I just told myself how I needed to be thankful I am losing and not worry about anyone but myself.

I have been doing much better lately.  I have a good friend who had WLS when she only had 68lbs to lose.  I never had a problem with her - as I shouldn't - because I knew she suffered with arthritis, diabetes and other weight related issues.

It's hard for us who have the higher BMI's.  We have to work harder and longer to get to goal, but we ARE going to get there....  One day at a time