Need help-I am looking old and single and no one looks

I have lost 117 and I have been feeling pretty good about myself lately. I went to a family reunion and my brother and sister said I look old with the skin on my face hanging. Then most people say that men look at them when they never did before. I have seen women bigger than me and they get a good guy and here I am and men don't even notice me. I am feeling down and need incouragement. Please don't tell me when the right one comes along. I have heard that all about I can stand. Anyone have any suggestions?

I don't have any suggestions on how to get a guy but I do have some good news. A lot of people look really bad for a while after surgery, old, tired, baggy and pale. Your body has a lot of stress on it right now. The good news is that I've seen MANY pictures of the same people later on and they look a million times better.

I'm 14 months out and I'm just starting to get color back in my cheeks. I still look really tired all the time, even when I feel great, BUT overall I am starting to look better - healthier and less sallow complexion. Give your body more time, treat it well. Treat yourself to some new makeup or a massage or something like that to make yourself feel pretty and special.

If you feel good about yourself it makes a BIG difference for how other people, men and women, percieve you.

You definitely have to feel really good about yourself, to the point of being radiant, for people to be drawn to you (men & women).  Do something great for just Dawn:  an all over massage, a facial, a manicure & pedicure, get a professional to do you colors and get some fall/winter make-up, get a great new haircut & change up the color.  These things can be expensive -- but YOU are worth it!!!  Can't put money into a high end salon?  Try the local cosmotology school.  You would be so amazed at the difference great skin & hair and looking at pretty fingers & toes will do to your self-esteem!

People are just used to your face being very full, so of course it is going to look 'hanging' right now.  Don't listen to them, REALLY!  They are just commenting on the difference they see, and not in a very constructive way.  Get your hydration in, and get out and walk in this chilly weather -- the skin will bounce back and the color will come back.

They guy thing??  Girl, concentrate on Dawn right now and Dawn only.  Yes, the right one will come along, if it is meant to be.  If not, you are the right one for you and you are all you need right now!!!

I know exactly what you mean. I feel so horrible some days about my looks. Especially when I look in the mirror because of the saggy skin I see.... I guess when I was bigger the skin was inflated-looking (hee) or something and it looks horrible now.

But you know what - I try to focus on how much I've been through and try to be easy on myself. Like Jenn said - it takes a while for your body to get right and that includes the outward appearance aspect of the surgery too.

Hang in there and be good to yourself. Get a pedicure or treat yourself to a new shirt and do your best to have a positive outlook. I say all this, but it's so hard for me some days as well.

After my 1st marriage ended, I spent a long time wondering what the heck was "wrong" with me that I couldn't find a partner. The main barrier to me finding someone was the way I felt about myself. My insecurities and lack of self esteem in the relationship department was poisoning any potential relationships before they started. I reeked of desperation and lonelyness.

Just as others have suggested here, work on feeling good about yourself. That's the key to the self confidence and general "aura" of attracting people. I know the excess skin makes that difficult - in fact there was an interesting post about that yesterday on the main board.

Pamper yourself and find things that you like to do. Have fun and enjoy life. That's when good things start happening.

Also - try reading or watching "The Secret".

thanks everyone,   I have bought myself new blouses and new hair cut and new makeup. Thanks for the encouragement.

The main thing is how you feel about yourself.
I am one of those women thats bigger than you and i hate the way i look ..
But i laugh it off and forget my crappy self esteem...
I have been told im starting to look old,so i started wearing a little makeup and fixing my hair and then the guys started flirting,and i like it..lol
I do need to tell you this i was a single parent and was obese and not taking care of myself,life was crappy and i was thinking abut ending my life and out of nowhere came my dh i honestly think he was heaven sent and he took me as i was.
I ask him recently why do you love me and he said from the moment i seen you i knew you were special your smile lite up the room and you are so sure of yourself  now remember i have no self esteem...
but honey you have done an awesome job.
Keep your chin up and smile it hides your insecurties....