i would like some help but it not about weight loss
I have been married for eight months and been with him for almost six years me and my husband have a four year old son together which i love with all my heart. My husband has been in and out of jail for the past 2 years for DUI and drinking when he is not suppose to. He leaves the house and i don't see him for days he want pick up the phone and when he does come back he is mad at me like i have done something wrong. I should also tell you that he has bipolar and he use drugs. And i don't know how much more i can take this and if i can keep putting my son throw this. I have try my hardest to get him help and he has to go to class for the drugs and drinking and he does not go. i feel like he just want to throw his life away and take mine down with him. I know now that i should have not married him but i felt that maybe that would help him see that i love him and i want us to have a normal family. I just don't know what to do? I don't want to have to tell my son that i don't know were his dad goes every night and have him cry. I just want to be happy. So if anyone could give me some advice that would help me out a lot
I thank god im almost on the other side.
wow, this is a tough situation. what you should remember first and foremost is that you and your son are number one. you're not just making choices for you anymore. i'm not gonna tell you to kick him to the curb because that's easier said than done. you need to do what's best for you and your son and no one else. if your hubby doesn't want help then don't give it to him. i know there are always other factors than just staying or leaving. weigh your options carefully and go from there. we are always here for you to vent to. good luck hun.
Your son is the most important thing right now. Get a restraining order against your hubby and call the cops every time lhe come near. Start divorce proceedings and get a support system around you. There will be lots of people on OH that will be phone support.
When I got divorced, I also got all the bills, including the truck payments for the truck he was driving. But the loan was in my name and I figured it was easier to pay for it than have him back in the house cause he didn't have a way to work.
No one deserved to live like that. You only have one life and why waste it. Get yourself out of the mess and keep your son safe and sound. In mind as well as body.
God be with you
Bette m
When I got divorced, I also got all the bills, including the truck payments for the truck he was driving. But the loan was in my name and I figured it was easier to pay for it than have him back in the house cause he didn't have a way to work.
No one deserved to live like that. You only have one life and why waste it. Get yourself out of the mess and keep your son safe and sound. In mind as well as body.
God be with you
Bette m
surgery 12-19-08. on my way!!
Do you have any programs where you are for domestic problems so that you could talk to someone there in your area that could give you advice for there ??? They would know what things were available for you and your son. I agree you son is number one !!!! You must think of him first. Sometimes some thing drastic has to happen before your husband will realize that he cannot go on with this behavior. He is making his choices but you need to think of your son's saftey and yours first.
try to find some help there where you are.
try to find some help there where you are.
Sweetheart,
I think sometimes when we our overweight we put up with things that we should not or would not if we were a runway model....... think about your child and think about you.... don't you deserve to be treated nice.... our you not tired of the drama... kick him to the curb.. until he gets his act together..
Cate 48
I think sometimes when we our overweight we put up with things that we should not or would not if we were a runway model....... think about your child and think about you.... don't you deserve to be treated nice.... our you not tired of the drama... kick him to the curb.. until he gets his act together..
Cate 48
Long (sorry) - this is as much about me as you...
I think of my journey as not just the weight loss (physical), but all the emotional and spiritual aspects of dealing with the chaos and turmoil in my life. If I can't start fixing/changing those things that stress me out, I'll go back to eating as a coping mechanism. Maybe not for the time that the tool rules my eating, but once I'd be over the honeymoon period, I bet I can out-eat it if I don't make some changes.
One counselor I once had used the analogy of an airplane that lost cabin pressure. If you are travelling with your son and husband, whose air mask goes on first? Most of us would say "my son", but that's the wrong answer. Take care of yourself first so that you can better help your son.
To extend the analogy, what about hubby? Is he going to struggle against you, maybe ripping off your mask as well as your son's?
You need to get healthy for your son. If your husband is not willing to change his ways, you can't fix him. You are just hurting yourself and your son when you keep trying and hoping. You deserve better.
More than anything, you don't want to teach your son that it's OK to hurt the ones you love by behaving like his dad does. If you accept his behavior, that's OKing it.
I've got challenges too right now myself. I have a disabled husband who helps as much as he can (most of the time). My 2 step kids also have problems and neither seem to be trying much. If perople are willing to try, I will help them. If they want me to do it all, I'm seeing that I can't.
I got myself into this situation because I was so lonely. Well, I'm not lonely now. DH and I are OK so far. More like roommates these days, but I think that is the meds we are both on. My bi-polar stepdaughter is now out on her own - not doing well, but she just brought too much chaos to the house. I cover her meds under my insurance, but we do not give her money - she just spends it on durgs and tatoos.
I am trying really hard to get my 25 yo computer-addicted stepson out of the nest as well. He has Asperger's syndrome (a form of high-functioning Autism) but his real barrier to leaving is that it is just too comfy here. DH wants to give him more time, but I'm ready to slam the door on him on his way out. I would not mind him being here as much if he helped out and showered regularly.
Add to that a house so cluttered with stuff that we have landslides - well, things here aren't so good either. I used to make myself nuts trying to do everything. Now I make sure I have clean laundry, healthy food and exercise. I have to take care of myself FIRST. I'm not sure how it will all end up, but the winds of changes are blowing here...
I hope this helps. Do what is best for you and your son first.
I think of my journey as not just the weight loss (physical), but all the emotional and spiritual aspects of dealing with the chaos and turmoil in my life. If I can't start fixing/changing those things that stress me out, I'll go back to eating as a coping mechanism. Maybe not for the time that the tool rules my eating, but once I'd be over the honeymoon period, I bet I can out-eat it if I don't make some changes.
One counselor I once had used the analogy of an airplane that lost cabin pressure. If you are travelling with your son and husband, whose air mask goes on first? Most of us would say "my son", but that's the wrong answer. Take care of yourself first so that you can better help your son.
To extend the analogy, what about hubby? Is he going to struggle against you, maybe ripping off your mask as well as your son's?
You need to get healthy for your son. If your husband is not willing to change his ways, you can't fix him. You are just hurting yourself and your son when you keep trying and hoping. You deserve better.
More than anything, you don't want to teach your son that it's OK to hurt the ones you love by behaving like his dad does. If you accept his behavior, that's OKing it.
I've got challenges too right now myself. I have a disabled husband who helps as much as he can (most of the time). My 2 step kids also have problems and neither seem to be trying much. If perople are willing to try, I will help them. If they want me to do it all, I'm seeing that I can't.
I got myself into this situation because I was so lonely. Well, I'm not lonely now. DH and I are OK so far. More like roommates these days, but I think that is the meds we are both on. My bi-polar stepdaughter is now out on her own - not doing well, but she just brought too much chaos to the house. I cover her meds under my insurance, but we do not give her money - she just spends it on durgs and tatoos.
I am trying really hard to get my 25 yo computer-addicted stepson out of the nest as well. He has Asperger's syndrome (a form of high-functioning Autism) but his real barrier to leaving is that it is just too comfy here. DH wants to give him more time, but I'm ready to slam the door on him on his way out. I would not mind him being here as much if he helped out and showered regularly.
Add to that a house so cluttered with stuff that we have landslides - well, things here aren't so good either. I used to make myself nuts trying to do everything. Now I make sure I have clean laundry, healthy food and exercise. I have to take care of myself FIRST. I'm not sure how it will all end up, but the winds of changes are blowing here...
I hope this helps. Do what is best for you and your son first.
Are you employed? If so check your Human Resources website or call them and find out if the have an EAP (employee assistance program). If so, you can attend some counseling sessions there and hopefully work through what you need to do.
It is hard to deal with drug abuse, but some of the PP's were right, you and your son are first and you need to do what is best for both of you!!
*hugs* and *prayers*
It is hard to deal with drug abuse, but some of the PP's were right, you and your son are first and you need to do what is best for both of you!!
*hugs* and *prayers*
Kelly
347/228/200
You made a change in life when having surgery that was for bettermeant of you and your son.Things change evryday,perhaps it's time for you to rid yourself of him.He's an adult you can't change him nor get him to do the right thing.Keep your self respect ,and your dreams alive for better.God will help you if you just move in a positive direction.We 've all been there.
.................Goodluck.................
.................Goodluck.................
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