I have a sex question..

Right now, my fiance and I have a so-so sex life. I don't feel comfy being naked in front of him, and having sex is a hard task at 310 pounds.. My fiance has a very high sex drive and sometimes I feel like I'm letting him down by being so fat that I can't "perform" as much or in ways he would like. What I'm asking is this...have any of you experienced a higher sex drive after having surgery? I'm sorry for the personal question, but I hope I will get some sort of sex drive back... Thanks!

It comes and goes for me. I wasn't proud of my body when I was 374 pounds, but after loosing 200 pounds it's not much nicer to look at naked, it's all baggy now. Hubby loves me for me and that's what I'm constantly reminding myself. 

I also had lots of pain with sex after surgery. Turns out I had a prolapsed uterus, so ended up having a hysterectomy last month. Things are slowly getting back to normal.

Getting back your sex drive depends on many things not just weight. How old are you?

Hi Jan,

I'm 40 year old and he is 52. I guess you're right, it isn't just my weight. I just want to feel better about myself, and maybe that will help me feel more comfy with sex! Thank you!

Unfortunately you're also entering those years when a woman's sex drive can slow down. Make sure you talk to you OB/GYN about all this too.

Mine had me start taking DHEA, works for some people to help improve sex drive but yet doesn't work for others.

You know I think my desire for sex is greater now.  I am a month out.  Having said that I have always enjoyed sex with my husband, even though it has not always been as active as either of us might like.  I find my husband does not care what my body looks like as he loves me for me, the person I am and my heart.  We joke together now that when I lose lots of weight that I will be able to keep him warm in winter with my loose skin, he says that's good cause he can be wrapped in my love....he is so sweet.  I started this journey a month ago at 426lbs and I am now down to 385lbs.  We have limited sexual positions because of my size, but our love is strong and that it what is important.  He is my great love and my best friend, you could not get a better man than mine.  I am so lucky!!!!   Anne

My sex drive decreased slightly before surgery, I attributed it to the stress of the process. Unfortunately it did not bounce back. It got worse. I am a year out and still struggling with sex drive. Some people report a drastic improvement, and some people report a loss like mine. Luck of the draw maybe?

I've tried DHEA, it didn't work for me. I had 2 hormone profiles. The first one showed low testosterone, but another 3 months later was fine (and I didn't change anything). Its not just that I don't want it, which I don't, but even if I do I'm basically an******ic and lose interest quickly.

I am only 2 months post op but have been sick and sex has been the last thing on my mind. But I have been REALLY sick, I am typing with an iv in my hand now, So that might be the problem lol

My hubby is 53, and he says he just doesn't care about sex anymore, not with me or with anyone else. He says he has no drive.

I'm 35 and pre-op. Before I gained my last 40 or so lbs we did have sex now and then. At my current weight, none. He tries to assure me that it's not my weight but I am not convinced. I hope having WLS and at least being a closer to normal size will increase his interest. I don't so much miss the actual sex as I do the intimacy and closeness.

I am also aware that at his age he may need a little help...he's going to see the doc for some of those "little blue pills" soon.

For me I have always had a high sex drive even at this weight. So I hope I don't get more "juiced up" after surgery! I'll have to tie hubby to the bedposts, LOL!

Sorry if this is TMI!

With all the info pointing to us being extremely fertile post op, my sex drive is down, way down.

In my case, I don't know if it's the menopause fairy or not, but I have no interest at all in sex.  Not that I have anyone around to tie to the bedposts! 

My hormones went all kerfluffle as a new post-op (periods every two weeks) and my body regulated itself for awhile, and now it has decided to be menopausal.  I haven't had a period in 85 days even though I feel PMSy every so often.  If it is menopause, I wish the Sky Mother would flip the OFF switch and get it over with!

I may talk to my doctor about herbal supplements once I've recovered from my upcoming sinus surgery (can't take herbal supplements two weeks prior to surgery, so no need to bother her now).

Kix