Ok, I'm going to go there...SEX

After reading an article on the treadmill this morning about a woman that always had pain during sex, I decided to break my silence and ask if anyone is having the same problems. Has anyone had difficulty with sex being painful post surgery?  My husband is an average man and I'm telling you, the smaller I get, the more painful sex is becoming.  It's not an issue with lubrication, but some thrusts are downright  (sorry for the TMI) painful. Anyone else having similar problems?

Hmm, no pain here exactly but I know that without as much fat in the way my husband goes a lot deeper, and if it were too vigorous or a surprise I could see it hurting.  Also, some positions have definitely had to be readjusted for comfort as I've lost weight, and we are able to try some new ones also, some of which do hurt.  I also seem to get a lot of menstrual cramps during sex, which I didn't before, and some of them definitely hurt.  Personally, I am having more libido issues than actual physical issues since surgery.  In your case, its possible its nothing and you'll get used to it, but if it continues and/or gets worse, or if its interfering with your life at this point I'd see your gyno to make sure there isn't a physical problem like an ovarian cyst or something.  In the meantime, have you tried a lot of different positions to see if any new ones are more comfortable?  There is a great line of dense foam pillows (liberator line) that can be a lot of fun for trying new things comfortably.  I won't tell you how many of them we've gotten over the years but my favorite is actually the little wedge, which I do recommend and was the first one we bought.   I hope it gets easier soon!

Hey Jenn - just an update on the DHEA I've been taking. It's been over two weeks now and I just started upping it to 50mg a day, I can honestly say I've really started noticing a difference. I feel more like my old self, and that's a good thing!

I'm glad its working for you!  I actually stopped after about a month and a half.  I was breaking out a lot and not really feeling any difference.  I have an appointment with gyno on the 22nd to check my hormone levels again and maybe change to a different birth control to see if that makes a difference.  I am definitely frustrated, and its definitely not helping my marriage.  My husband is a sweetie and tries to be understanding, but he also takes it personally no matter what I say, which is understandable, I probably would too.  I keep hoping there is a physical reason, something that can be fixed, and that its not all in my head. 

I'm sure it's not in your head. My new OB/GYN said it's more common to loose interest than to gain it after WLS. She had just come from a conference all about it the day before I saw her. There is so much change going on in our bodies that things are going to be different for awhile.

Just keep telling yourself  "this too shall pass!" Of course keep reminding your husband how much you love him too, I know I do.

Jen, Regarding the libido issues, did you change any meds post-op?  In particular an antidepressant?  Lexapro is my friend and enemy for exactly that reason. -Dawn

No, I went off of my blood pressure med, atenolol, which is a drug that can cause libido issues.  That's all I was on.  I didn't start an antidepressant until recently and so far I can't tell that its better or worse.  I don't think its uncommon post-op, but it sure is frustrating.  I was sort of having the problem before surgery, but not as bad.  I miss the good old days *sigh*

This is the exact reason why I'll be having a hysterectomy next month. I told the DR my average sized husband feels enormous now, and it hurts all the time. She found upon examination that my uterus is prolapsed. Apparently whatever support I had 200 pounds ago is now gone. It was a bit weird but she said I'm going to try to recreate the sex act and lets see where the pain is coming from. As soon as she touched my very low uterus the pain was awful. She told me then if I was not planning on having children this was the only fix. She sent me for ultrasounds both internal and external to rule anything else out before we made this final decision.   I saw my regular male OB/GYN last year for this same complaint, he told me to change positions and come back to see him in a year to discus a hysterectomy. I didn't like his answer and couldn't wait the year due to the pain, so went for a second opinion, to a highly respected female OB/GYN in my area.  For me it first started off as painful only during sex, and then it went to constant low back pain.

You know, Jan, I was told that (actually it's tilted) at my last gyn appointment. I'll bet that's the issue. Because it feels like he'****ting my cervix but it's probably my uterus slinking it's way down.  My mother had to have a hysterectomy for the same reason but her problem was from having too many kids.  Most of the positions hurt except for the normal one that we used when I was so big and I just don't want to have sex that way any more.  I'm careful to adjust myself when I know he's getting close.  My gyn appt is not till Sept but I think I'll make an appointment earlier. Keep the hints and tricks coming though.  I'm curious to see how others are handling this problem. 

Kathy, My uterus was retroverted (tipped backward) and retroflexed (folded over backard), and I did find that as I got thinner and my dh was deeper inside, that he would hit my uterus and it was painful.  this is because that tipped backward uterus is over the top of the vagina or in my case over the top and backward over it as well, and he wa****ting the that uterus and it was painful.  I had to be in a position that more controlled penetration and that was better.  Also, like Jan, you might find that without the extra weight, you are prolapsing downward and that might be part of the pain.  I would check with a good ob/gyn and see if they have some answers for you.