Another Newbie

Hi everyone!  I've posted a few replies, but haven't introduced myself as of yet.  I'm scheduled to have RNY on June 12, 2008 and the liquid diet is scheduled to begin on May 22nd.  It's really exciting getting closer to surgery date, but I'm also getting a wide range of emotions right now.  It seems that now that I have hope that things will get better soon, the difficulties of being so obese (my BMI is around 70) are even harder.  I know it's just because I'm paying more attention to them and I'll get through, but these few weeks just can't go fast enough! I'm also really nervous about how to respond to others when I tell them about having surgery.  I don't have any issues telling people that I am having surgery (it will hopefully be really obvious that something happened), but I'm really embarrassed about my current weight and so I'm having trouble figuring out how I am going to respond to questions about how much weight I've lost.  At first it won't be an issue, but I think that it quickly will become an issue so I want to figure it out before I have surgery.  What do others do? Anyway, I look forward to getting to know all of you better.  I work full-time and also go to school  and the support group at my clinic meets monthly on a day that I cannot attend.  I've got good support at home and a therapist that I work with individually.  I will probably look into another support group that I can attend locally, but these message boards have been really helpful too - especially since I'll be able to read and post at times that are convenient for me.

Welcome and glad you stepped out and introduced yourself! It's nice to get plugged into a new community and this place is great - I've been here for over 2 years and love everyone here. It's been a god send! As for the whole how to answer people when they ask about you losing weight, you will be surprised how it might now matter as much once you start to lose. Now I proudly tell people I've lost over 200 pounds, it's like a badge of honor! Even people who knew me before are shocked when I tell them - they just never thought I was that big then and now they can't remember me ever being big! You'll figure out what you are comfortable with when the time comes - just go with your gut. Pam

I'm not shy about telling people I had WLS, but I know some people want to keep it private.  You aren't required to answer anyone's nosy questions, you know!  If you feel like a reply is necessary, just say you have changed your eating habits and are pleased that it shows.  It's not a lie, your eating habits will change.  As for telling people how much weight you lost, frankly, I like the reactions I get from people when I tell them I've lost over 300 lbs.  It's like they can't even wrap their minds around it.    You may find once you get close to your goal, you won't feel as awkward about it, either.  Some days, I want to stand on the roof and yodel about my WLS success.  But then, I'm Kix, which means I'm a bit peculiar!    Your reactions may vary. For me, having WLS has changed my life is so many ways.  The best part is being able to live a more normal life, and I also like the fact that people don't stare at me anymore now that I'm not the size of a zoo animal.   Welcome aboard, we're glad to have you. Kix

Hello and Welcome to our little forum :) I wouldn't even tell my mom how much I weighed for years so I understand how you feel....Now people I see in the grocery store think its ok to ask me so I tell them, Most people are amazed but so am I actualy and I am very proud of me for taking the steps to make my life better and you should be proud of you too!  Congrats on your upcoming surgery date and please feel free to post as often as you can/want, Estelle

Hello, welcome to the board :)  Yay for upcoming surgery. For the first hundred lbs or so I told people how much I'd lost but I sort of wish I hadn't in retrospect because then they keep asking - since then I say "the size of a smallish woman" or "a coule of labradors" or something like that.  If its someone who looks like they weigh less than 140 I usually say "I've probably lost about one of you" and then they have to think about their weight too and know I'm looking at them.  I'm not going to totally avoid the question but I'm not giving a complete answer either, so maybe they'll stop asking.  Edit - I actually asked a girl the other day at school, who I'm not fond of to begin with, how much she weighed (after she asked me how much I'd lost) - she didn't answer LOL so I wanted to say "how does it feel now?"

Welcome aboard!  I am an open person and if you talk to me for more than 10 minutes, you will learn that I am preparing for WLS.  It's just in my nature.  Now, I have not been so forthcoming with my weight, but since I am such a talker, I do get myself in trouble where that is concerned.  I tell people I want to weigh between 170 and 200 pounds and then I say I want to lose between 200 and 250 lbs.  Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the math, so I guess I am not as secrative about my current weight as I sometimes think I am.  Oh well - so is life!  Hopefully in a matter of weeks I will be sitting on the loser bench watching those pounds be a thing of my past.   Good Luck!

My highest recorded weight was 374.  I know I weighed more than that just because of how clothes were fitting at that weight.  My surgery weight was 371.  I'm now 290 and I'm close to 6 months out. In the beginning I was proud to say that I'd lost 50 pounds.  And, don't get me wrong, I'm not embarrassed about having weight loss surgery at all.  For people who know me, I've become evasive about how much I've lost.  People who I've never met before, like at the gym, I will ususally proudly say I've lost 80 pounds.  The other day, a chiropractor said that I was doing good and probably only had another 40 pounds to lose!  Ha...I almost lost it while doing crunches.  He is not a good estimator of weight.  I've got the saddle bags from hell.  My stomach is shrinking but not in proportion to my top half. So, to answer your question, at this point, I don't want people, as someone said earlier, putting two and two together to figure out how much I weighed when I started.  When I get to onderland, then I'll most likely elaborate how much I've lost, but I'm still sensitive about my starting weight with everyone but my OH buddies!

Hello & welcome.  I totally understand what you mean. I've had mixed feelings all along about people commenting.  Its like I expect them to notice, but when they do, I feel partially embarrassed to admit I've lost 98 lbs....cuz then I  am admitting I was that much overweight!  Its a personal choice. You can tell or not tell. Let us know how you are coping and if you feel the need to talk...we are here!  HUGS  Jeanine

Wow can I relate to you!  I, too, am scheduled for RNY on the same day in Minneapolis, MN.  I, too, haven't mentioned my surgery to anyone but my immediate family.   I've thought about what people will say, too.  I figure I'm just going to say I've lost "a lot" until I'm comfortable with saying a number, if ever.   I too am embarrassed but my concern is that people will think that I was a failure at losing weight and lacked self control.   I just recently told my husband of 32 years how much I weigh!  He had no idea, so I know how tough saying the number is.  Alot of people who don't have a weight problem think surgery is the "easy" way out.  People don't really realize that this surgery won't make me skinny without a lot of hard work from me and telling them will seem like it would take away from all of my hard work.  So I'm conflicted too.  Just another thing to work out.