I am such a freak

I woke up this morning and took an account of all the things going on in the next three weeks. I have both of my Step daughters in Beauty Pageants ( and no I am not a Mrs. Ramsey hahahaha) and one in soft ball and my surgery and all that goes with that Dr app's, liquid diet and  pre opt tests. and I started one to feel very overwelmed but also scared of the unkown. I Know they have to warn you about all the risks and that is freaking me out . Leaks, blockages and blood clots are just a few of the things that keeps rolling across my mind. I keep telling myself that the risk are small compared to obesity related health issues. I could even have a blood clot thrown today without surgery. I keep telling myself this but it doesn't . I also keep reminding myself what is around the corner health wise if I don't have this surgery. But I still seem extremly anxious know don't get me wrong not enought to cancel the surgery but more suprised at myself. I started this journey 10 months ago I knew the risk then I read up on alot before making the decision to have WLS. So what is up with this??? Did you folks go through this ??

Once I made the decision I never second guessed myself during the months it took to get from the initial informational seminar to surgery day.  I can honestly say I knew the risks and when I accepted them and made that decision, I was fine.  The only nerves I felt were on the morning of surgery during the ride to the hospital at about 5 a.m.  I had stayed in a motel room that night because I live about 2 hrs from the hospital.  A friend drove me to the hospital and stayed with me up until I was rolled into OR.  Once they started prepping me for surgery I started to feel calmer and then when they started the IV, all was well. The odds are just so heavily in our favor, especially if we have a surgeon who is experienced and he and the hospital have an outstanding record.  Your chances of dying or being severely injured during surgery and really EXTREMELY slight.  The dangers of obesity and the life limiting aspects of it are not slight.  Put those factors on a balance scale and the decision for me was a given. Read all of the stories you will find here and notice that everyone says they would do it again in a heart beat.  There may be someone out there *****grets getting surgery, but I haven't found her or him yet. Shirley

sweetie dont second geuss your decision. It is the best decesion i ever made i had mine 2/18 and have lost62 pounds. I had the blood clot and know that in more than 1 way the surgery has saved my life. having the filter in place number1. no more insulin number 2 i can breathe without gasping number 3 i can get into positions i havent been in years and i look forward to what i can do tomorrow. I took care of everybody else and put myself last. now ive got myself on the right track and honey it feels good. im here with you keep yourself busy and soon you will be there/

You are not a freak.  I think we all go through doubts pretty bad in the last two weeks before surgery.  It's normal. If you were having some other type of surgery, you would be worried too.  It's normal.  It will be the best thing you ever do for yourself!

Its natural to have all of these thoughts.  It definitely doesn't make you a freak.  Being sure about surgery doesn't mean you aren't scared of things going wrong.  It can happen, chances are slim but complications happen.  I had a complete bowel obstruction and 2 internal hernias.  Just remember that the people taking care of you are aware of the risks and practices at dealing with them and they will watch you VERY carefully.  You are in good hands and your quality of life is going to improve dramatically after surgery.  Its worth it.  Its scary for sure, but it is worth it.  No matter what kind of surgery a person has, its totally natural to be scared.  You are putting your life in someone else's care, and that's scary.  Anesthesia is scary.  Going through these feelings is part of the journey, and being at peace with that will help your preparation.  As always, wishing all the best, Jenn

Dear Diana: Yes, you are a freak, but we love you anyway!    Seriously, it's perfectly normal to be worried.  I was not worried, mostly because my doctor, my surgeon, and my family were worried enough that I didn't need to bother.  I knew I'd have a positive outcome and just focused on that.  Have you thought about getting a CD to listen to that prepares you mentally for surgery?  I did this and it helped a lot.  I gave mine away, or I'd send it to you.  I listened to it every day for a few weeks prior to my surgery date.  You can find them on Amazon.com Kix (PS, if you were like Mrs. Ramsey, then you would definitely be a freak, and not in a good way!)

Thank you ladies. I appreciate all your advice I am sooo much better today. I think it it was just after all the anticipation it is finally here. And I have friends who have had other types of surgery with some complications. But you ladies came through for me. and freak that I am (Kix) I so realize what wonderful friend I have on this site. thank you so much for putting up with me. Also as a mother of two girls who I would rather go out for cheerleading (hahah not really into that either) I am as far from Mrs Ramsey as you can get.  I am not exactly the girlie type. ahahhahah