I'm Back!

Hey there everyone - I am officially back from Moab and my great adventure! And I tell ya, it was quite the adventure, it was actually better than I ever imagined it would be and I am still processing it all. It truly was a life changing experience. The first day was mountain biking on an advanced trail - I have not rode a bike since I was 10 so I was really pushing myself, so much so that I took a couple of falls that I am still hurting from! But I did it and had an excellent instructor who is such an inspiration to me - she was just amazing and so patient. The second day was my big one - the ropes and climbing day. I am terrified of heights and was positive that I wouldn't be able to do any of it. But I did it! I rappelled off a small 60 foot cliff then moved on to the big 200 foot cliff that was part free fall - it was UNBELIEVABLE! I can't believe I did it, I'm still in shock. The last day was river kayaking and it was a blast - I've done some kayaking before and this day was just a fun, relaxed kind of day. It was perfect. The whole weekend I kept pinching myself, I couldn't believe I was keeping up with all these athletic type people! I had more people say "I looked at you and thought you were one of the very athletic ones" which just cracked me up. I wasn't the fat one, the one who could never do anything because it was just too hard. I'm getting teary eyed just writing this because it was such a profound moment for me - I was just me and no one looked down on me because of how I looked or what I couldn't do. I wish I could explain it better but I knew that if anyone could understand that it would be you all. We've all been there, rejected and ignored because of our size. And I have to admit I was worried before the camp that it would be the same as always. But it wasn't, I was accepted as one of them. And I guess that is why I am crying - that not only was I accepted but that I never gave up or decided it was too hard. I stuck it out, all the hard parts and scary parts and found out more new things about me that I never knew about myself. It has changed everything for me - I'm not sure what is going to happen next but I know I'm headed in a completely different direction than I ever imagined. That alone has been a little overwhelming and I have a feeling it's going to be a while until I truly process everything. If you want to hear all the crazy details of the weekend, you can check out my blog http://theminimeinme.blogspot.com/ - It has pics and lot more info than I posted here. But I didn't feel like sharing this aspect on the blog - a little too personal for me to put out to the world at this point. But I know all of you would understand, probably more than anyone else. You guys are the best!

Left a comment on your blog but also have to comment here.  You rock lady!  You are amazing and such an inspiration for completely turning your life around and throwing yourself into something you love 100% - I am so happy for you.  I definitely understand how you were worried about not being accepted, in fact you made me tear up a little with this post.  All the best to you! Jenn

Thanks hon and I loved your comment! However, I draw the line at snakes eekks!!! I'm STILL having a problem posting you comment though. It seems to work for those who don't have a blogger profile but not for those who do. I have another friend who commented who has a blogger profile and I can't post hers either. I emailed blogger, hopefully they will figure it out.

Wow! I read your blog I looked at your picks .......I think all I can say is.... WOW.....

My knees are barely bending today, so I am in awe that you are able to do such physically demanding activity!  You are my hero!  Kix

Oh, PJ, I'm just so happy for you!  Such life changing events are so rare, so precious, and I'm so delighted that you embraced this experience, faced your fears, and moved through them.  It's a rare gift that you will always treasure -  I look forward to reading all of your blog - am at work now, and could only skim, but it looks like a fabulous experience!   Welcome home -  Kellie

HEY PJ,      WE MISSED YA GIRL! I HAVE TO SAY I AM GETTING BLISTERS ON THE OLE HANDS AND FEET JUST READING YOUR POST. LOL IM MORE OF A RIDING LAWNMOWER GAL LOL.... I KNOW YOU ARE SO PROUD OF YOURSELF AND WE ARE TO.... HUGS MARGE

Hey PJ,   You are such an inspiration! I am in such awe of you right now...there is so much more to say but I am actually at a loss for words...WOW lady! YOU ROCK!!! ~Lori

I'm getting teary eyed just reading this PJ!!  OMG yes I can relate to just starting to feel normal and not one to be stared at in disgust.  What a proud moment for you...you are so deserving of that!    I can only imagine what it feels like to have your body do things you never dreamt it could.  For now I am happy  just to be able to walk without hurting.  The rest will come in time, I know.  Your time is now and what you accomplished was awesome!! Congratulations on so many counts!!   HUGS  Jeanine

Thanks everyone, your words are too kind. I'm still a bit weepy, I start talking about it and have to stop. So, I haven't been talking about it too much - I hate to cry  I think it will be a while before I fully understand why I have reacted the way I have - it's a little overwhelming. Just day to day, I guess. Love you all!!!