Trying and Trying

Hi. I've been a silent member of OH and have been working toward "getting ready" for surgery for years (lots of reading, attending seminars, support groups, etc.). During that time my weight has yo-yoed within a 20 lbs range. Now I've taken the next crucial steps. I've actually committed and visited the clinic, signed all the papers and got the ball to rolling. Since then I've been so depressed and tired. I'm paranoid that I'm going to gain weight again after they said I absolutely must not!  I could really use some encouraging words. Has anyone else been where I am?

Many of us have rocked in the same boat, bailing desperately with a teaspoon, knowing our little boat was going to sink any moment.  But amazingly, the boat does not sink and our efforts with the teaspoon are ultimately rewarded!   Okay, done with the platitudes, but sometimes they are comforting.  Many WLS candidates have anxiety about gaining weight while waiting for their surgery approval, surgery date, etc.  Some surgeons are super strict in telling their patients not to gain any weight, otherwise no surgery.  And that can be super hard as many of us say "goodbye" to our old friend, food, by wanting to eat everything in sight.  Twice.  In super size portions.  So we totally understand where you are coming from.   Be clear about what your surgeon requires; although they don't want you to gain any weight, will he really not do surgery if you're up 5 pounds?  For most surgeons, the answer is no.  But it depends, so understand your surgeon's requirements.   The other thing is that it can decrease your surgery risk if you lose some weight before surgery.  Many surgeons want their patients to do a liquid protein diet for 1-2 weeks before surgery to shrink your liver; it increases their chance of being able to do surgery laproscopically.  I lost 10 pounds in the week before my surgery by doing just liquid proteins.  Was it a fun week?  Hell no.  But did I survive?  Absolutely.   Being anxious and nervous at this point is completely normal; we've all be there, and can offer support and encouragement to help you through this time.  Keep your chin up and be patient - it iwll all be worth it in the long run!!! Kellie

Kellie, Thank you so very much for your encouraging words. They were exactly what I needed to read at this time! I didn't know if what I was feeling, this sensation of MOURNING, was normal and to be expected, and when I tried to talk to people they just looked at me like I was crazy. Thank you again for setting me straight. My chin is up and I'll be working on my patience. Rebecca

Congratulations on taking the next step.  You can do it!  Try not the be tempted into the "last meal" mentality.  Most of the things you can eat now you may be able to eventually eat again anyway, in moderation - and the ones you can't you probably won't have much desire to eat anyway.  Losing a little weight before surgery can also really help your surgeon maneuver inside you, and he/she may put you on a pre-op diet very low carb diet to shrink your liver and lose a little weight right before surgery.  Now that you've made the decision, you can start making small daily changes to get used to post-op life.  Drop sodas, anything carbonated will be outlawed for a while.  Cut down your sugar and simple carbs so its not such a shock to your body after surgery.  Start an exercise program, if you already don't have one.  Even just an increase of few minutes walking each day can really help strengthen you for surgery.  Eat protein first, learn to not drink with your meals.  If you concentrate on making these positive changes, maybe it will help you out of your depression and help alleviate worry about weight gain.  Its tough!  Its a big decision!  You are going to have second thoughts and go back and forth probably several times, its totally normal.  Pre-op was really hard for me, physically and emotionally.  It felt like it took forever and I was cranky from my diet and withdrawn because of what the future held.  I had so much on my mind and I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to lose the 40lbs I had to lose before my surgeon would do the operation.  Best of luck!  Stick around and let us know how you are doing.  We've been there and can help or just listen when you need to vent.  *hugs* Jenn

What an inspiring post from Kellie!!  I think once we make the comittment to proceed, we are in the state of mind that helps us move forward and realize that food is NOT our friend...its a handicap. With the knowledge of this comes peace. As you prepare for surgery you will take baby steps toward  your goal and will see results. Its these results that will inspire you. You will be fine. We are a special group where you can vent and be encouraged. Those of us who have been where you are are here to pay it forward and help as those before helped us. Keep us updated on your surgery plans.  Jeanine

Jeanine, Thank you for your support and kind words! I have my consult with the surgeon on 2/6. In the meanwhile, I'm going to ask for a preop consult with a dietician to help clear away some of the confusion I'm having. I'll stay in touch! Rebecca

Congrats! This surgery is for sure the most exciting, scary thing I have ever done! So far So good and I dont expect that to change. when you first visit with your surgeon ask him if he puts you ona preop diet. If not I too suggest  a liquid liver shrinking diet prior to surgery my surgeon swares by it! The nite before my surgery I cried like a baby I was so scared and when I woke up after my surgery I was wondering why they hadn't started, lol   If you need a place to vent or visit your always welcome here!  Good Luck  Estelle

Thank you, Estelle, for your wonderful support. I WILL request a pre-op diet consult to help clear away some of the confusion. Rebecca

Wished I had known you back then...I could have given you morale support that night!    HUGS

Glad you decided not to be silent anymore. OH has helped me so much before and after surgery. I was so sure that I would be the only one that would have the surgery and not LOOSE weight. My body was so weired I could look at a no no and gain weight. But the surgery has been a medical miracle for me. Taking me from 470lbs and being in a wheel chair to now and walking most places and much healtheir !!! Our surgeon here does not require you to loose although i lost 15 lbs on my own. Keep us posted on your journey it is a miracle !!