Could You Come To My Party?

Hey Willby Thinsoon??? Well as I live and breathe!!!! so good to hear from you!  You know...I accidentally found a message from you on my OH page from last summer I think.... Bridget! Please don't think that I was trying to "blow you off"  I just didn't realize your mesage was there.  (((((((Hugs)))))))) Life sure gets in the way of our plans.  I admit that I am not the "success story" that I seem to hear from many of you.  I just never added exercise to the equation..and I think that contributes to my demise.  I am out almost 3 months from my panncutamy.  (Insurance paid for all of it along with my hyernia and gall-bladder removal----$200.00 out of pocket...can't beat that with a stick) Never in a million years could I imagine having a flat lower belly.  The truth is... now my midrif sticks out!  I kinda look like a snowman without the lower ball of snow!...not complaining...not giving that flab back..just realizing my weird body.  We sisters gotta stick together!  Remember all the drama we went through pre-op??? If we could make it through that..we can do ANYTHING!!! I'm looking forward to keeping touch and keeping each other in line......things will be great in 2008..rah, Rah , rah Hugs, your pal in Arizona Ginger

Hi, Willby.  First things first -- a giant {{{{{hug}}}} for you.  Second, you've gotten a lot of good advice from other posters; read it, digest it, and put some of it into practice.  Third, you've taken several huge steps already, and I comment you for that.   You've come back to a place where you can get support without being judged; few people in the world understand what you're going through like we do.  You've also recognized what the problems are, and that's the first step to starting to fix them.  It's not practical to try and fix everything at one time -- there's just not enough time in the day or energy for such things -- so I would encourage you to find ONE thing to work on, and dedicate yourself to that.  After you feel like you've got that one thing under control, then tackle another issue.  You may want to start by exploring why you are so resistant to change -- figuring that out and working through that issue may open (and close) many other doors for you.   So sister, you can absolutely get a witness.  And support.  And an understanding ear...  Keep coming back, keep us posted on how you are doing, and realize that you, yes you, are worth working on!!!!

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Kellie

Kellie,  Thanks for the reply to my post. I was amazed when I read the part of  your post that suggested finding out why I am so resistant to change. HOW DID YOU KNOW???  If i had to name just one character flaw (JUST ONE!!!!????) I would say its how much I am afraid of change. So maybe you had something there. Thanks again willby

Hey beautiful lady!  I hear you on the struggle part. The thing about these boards, how WONDERFUL they are and all, it's VERY difficult to co-exist with lightweights when you started out a heavyweight. At least this has been my findings. Yeah we all compare - and it's really hard when we see someone enjoy a sweet treat here and there and never seem to gain - and then we eat a cookie and gain 5 pounds. WHAT?! So not fair! LOL! I do agree with the other posters - it's time for YOU to put YOU first again. Let's get a new therapist together (I soooo need one!) and let's get this squared away so we permanently change how we handle stress/life/fill in the blank here. I am going to be honest and say this, but it's only because I have it too so it sounds like me - but I think you have an addictive personality. Gambling, food, etc. I have to watch myself like a hawk so I don't start doing stuff in excess - it's HARD!  I'm sure your surgery is still intact. Everyone thinks their pouches stretch and they need revisions before they actually sit down and look at the much BROADER picture of WLS. I am proud of you for admitting the role you played in this. I know it's not easy but it's going to be worth it in the long run. Crazy to say huh? It's good you let yourself go? In my opinion yeah it is because it makes you realize where you can't and don't want to go again - no matter how good a donut might taste. Makes your actions even more transparent so you can work on them - and that is fabulous! Start working today on protein first (and ALWAYS), minimum 64 ounces of water, and getting some moderate exercise. Hell - I hate going to a gym but I can walk down the block. I am building myself up now! LOL!!! We can change sweetie - we just need to keep putting up the good fight.  Hugs to you - you are NEVER alone!

Hey - I wanted to extend an offer too - I have collected quite a few recipes along my journey and I love my sweets too - just have to be somewhat healthy for ya! Obviously everything in moderation but I have some AWESOME high protein dessert recipes if you're interested! Sometimes they're just too good to have one though! LMAO! If you like, PM me your e-mail and I'll send them out! We can do this girl!

Thank you , Bonnie!

Hey Willby, You are certainly not alone. We are all here for the same reason, and if we ALL didnt use food as a crutch for emotional issues, we would not be on the BMI over 50 board! The key is to learn how to control our desire for that instant gratification of food. I dont know what the answer is either, but all I do is try to portion my compusions as much as I can. Remember, the didnt operate on our brain, only our belly! You had lots going on when you had your surgery with your sons girlfriend and all, and now with you hubby leaving so stop beating up on yourself and just do the best  you can as a human being. You are not alone in making poor choices, and wrong decisions, and I dont think there is one person alive that hasnt. Just do your best today and then take one day at a time. Some of us oldies are still here to have your back. You have my number and email address if you need it. Hang in dear old pal. Hugs, Soos

Grandma,   Thank you so much for replying to my post. I have never forgotten the kindness that you showed me pre-op and post op. I never meant to be such a fair weather friend.................and this certainly doesnt excuse it....but it seems like we tend to fixate on GBS until we have it and then .....not so much. I just have felt like I dont belong here anymore because I tried and failed at this surgery. i dont want to say failed so much as not succeeded. Does that make sense?    I truly thank you for being here for me. willby

Willby, YOU ARE NOT a failure.....You can only fail at something if you dont try! You did your best and you still are doing your best and thats all anyone can expect. We are all human and we are all weak so you are not alone. I feel like a failure sometimes too. I eat sugar and carbs all the time where the first year or so I never even TOUCHED sugar with my fingers let alone put it in my mouth. Once I ate sugar cookies that I thought were sugar free. I ate 7 cookies, closed the bag and paniced when I saw I picked up the non sugar free cookies. Since then.......you know the rest. I only manage to keep off my weight because I choose when to indulge as oppose to doing it every day. I plan my binges, but still do the protein first and carbs last. Remember, once you touch someones heart you are in it forever. Even if it gets buried for a while while life happens, when someone pops in, the heart pops out again!  Hugs my dear ole friend, Grandma