Need Some Encouragement

I haven't been on the board in some time. I having some ups and downs. I had surgery on October 12, 2004 which means that I am over 3 years out. I am looking for encouragement because I have not come very close to my goal. At my one year check-up my Dr. told me that he was happy with my weight loss and if I didn't lose any additional weight, he would be fine with it. I was 317 pounds when he said this. I was devastated and crushed that my Dr. would say this to me. I truly believe it was then that I gave up. That is actually the last time I have gone for a check-up. No weigh-ins, bloodwork...nothing. In the last 2 years I have lost about 45 pounds. My goal is to be on the BMI scale of "overweight". I have decided to change surgeons and hope to find a Dr. that will take on a patient that had the surgery done by another surgeon. I also have moved 7 hours away from my original surgeon. i also plan to see if my insurance will pay for a dietician as well. I am asking anyone to give some comments or suggestions on what my next step should be. Any encouragement would be nice. If there is anyone that was also told by there surgeon what I was told, I would love to hear form you. Erica

Hi, Erica:  I'm a bit confused by your story.  Have you regained, or just haven't lost what you hoped to lose? What seems to work for me is to stick to the basics -- protein, water, and vitamins.  Toss in as much exercise as you can stand, and that should help shift your weight downward.  I don't know about you, but I come from a long line of people who don't burn a single calorie unless we are engaged in heart-pumping exercise. If you want to post about what you eat daily, and what kind of exercise you get, maybe we can offer some pointers. What was your starting weight?  At my fattest, I weighed close to 600 lbs.  If I had WLS at that weight, getting down to 317 would be an excellent weight loss.  My surgeon first saw me at 530 lbs, and he adamantly told me if he operated on me at that weight, I'd probably die due to my health complications.  Lose 50 lbs, he said.  My HMO put me on a modified Optifast diet, and I lost 50 lbs so fast (2-3 weeks) that the surgeon's schedule was full.  I also hadn't finished my pre-op classes.  I stayed on Optifast until my surgery date and lost 123 lbs before surgery. I currently weigh 220.  My doctor and surgeon would both be fine with me staying at that weight. I don't want to, and am struggling to get off the last 20 lbs.  Maybe I'm supposed to weigh 220. I don't know. I'm not a fan of dietitians unless they are well-versed in WLS eating.   Kix

Kix,

My starting weigh t was 451lbs.  When I went to my Dr. for my 1 year I weighed 317lbs.  I was feeling alot better but not well enough for someone to tell me that I was pretty much done.  Don't get me wrong, I was able to do many things and before the surgery I thought I would have to quit my job at a college due to the amount of walking and steps on the campus.  But after his staements I really believe that I gave up.  I have talked to a few people and there Dr's all said the same to them and they also stopped fighting. What I am eating now is: B- boiled eggs (cannot tolerate scrambled for some reason) and turkery bacon or sausage L - ususally grilled chicken salad D- protein and either tossed salad or broccoli or collards I also eat a couple slices of Wasa crispbread with cream cheese on it as a snack.  I am having a hard time getting my water in during the day.  It will be right next to me but with seeing students all day, I seem to forget about. Any suggestions?

Hi, Erica.  Based on your post, it sounds like the biggest battle you have going on is with yourself based on your surgeon's thoughtless comment.  Do not allow his callousness control your life.  YOU need to control your life.  If YOU want to be successful and continue to lose weight, you can do it.  His comment to you is probably based on his experience with hundreds of patients.  But YOU don't have be another one of his statistics.   My surgeon was not particularly encouraging to me, but that was his problem not mine.  I decided that if I was given this tool, I would use it to the best of my ability, and I would make changes to improve my health.  Will I ever be a "normal" weight?  Probably not, but that's okay with me.   Another thing to think about - people who are super morbidly obese hear over and over and over again how they will never be able to lose weight and keep it off.  We hear this in the media, we hear it from our well-meaning friends, even our doctors.  For some, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  We allow ourselves to be mentally and emotionally weighed down with baggage that is not ours to carry.  I choose to leave this particular baggage at the station, if you get my meaning.  I am in control of what I put in my mouth and how much I exercise.  Not the media, not my family, not my doctor.  Just me.  It's about personal responsibility.  It's about choosing to be healthy.  And I make that choice every day... So make your own choice.  Not based on your surgeon's comments.  Not based on statistics.  But based on what you know you want and you know you can do.  Do not give up!!!!  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! Kellie

Kelli,

Thank you so much for your kind words.  I think that at times we need to hear these things from people outside our family and friends.  I know this to be true I just need to really take it in and get past all of the negativity that I have been holding on to.  I the last week I have lost at least 6 pounds so I know its possible to continue to lose.  Again thank you.

 

Erica

Julie,

Thank you so much.  When I went to this Dr. I was so happy but after the surgery it seems like the support stopped after the bill was paid.  I am the only person that can lose this weight so I will be accountable for every calorie I put in my mouth.  It is so weird but I feel a new release and feel that now it is my time to shed the remainder of my weight so that I reach my goal.  I believe that I need to take it 10 pounds at a time and go from there!!!

Erica

Hi, Erica - I can definitely commiserate on having a ding-dong of a surgeon . . . mine hasn't told me exactly what yours told you, but believe me, my surgeon spouts some unreal stuff sometimes. I think it sounds like you are doing really well, and you should be proud of yourself. There is no reason on earth that you shouldn't be able to get to your own personal weight-loss goal. Just because the Dr. is satisfied doesn't mean you have to give up your dream. Someone on this board posted something a while back, which went something like this: statistically speaking, people who have WLS tend to lose only a certain percentage of their excess body weight. HOWEVER, as long as the calorie-intake and exercise stay on target for weight-loss, there is NO reason each and every one of us can't lose to exactly the weight we want to be, no matter what kind of surgery we had, no matter what the Dr. says, no matter what the statistics predict. You can succeed as much as you want to . . . it's a choice and a decision, just like the decision to have WLS in the first place. Forget the Dr. Use your tool and make your dreams come true. We're all here rooting for you!!  ((hugs)) Frances

Frances,

Thank you so much for the encouragement.  I feel as if I am in a new place and the darkness is clearing!!!!!  Personal goal....here I come!!!!!

 

Erica

Erica,

Sorry for the delay in my response. I don't get over here as often as I would like. I am only familiar with what my almost-RNY surgeon said about the "weight loss window" for an RNY. He said it was 18 months, but I've seen enough on OH to know that it is possible to lose after that first 18 months. Keep working your tool and life should be good, like the experienced RNY folks are saying.  On the flip side, I am hoping to have a DS in January. I have read alot on the DS forum from people who have had RNYs that failed and then got revisions to a DS. I know the last thing you probably want to hear is "think about having ANOTHER surgery," but in case you wind up frustrated and don;t post again, there is something else out there to consider. I encourage you to go over to the DS board or the revision board and hear what those folks are saying. It might help decide to do the revision to a DS OR it might inspire you to keep working the tool you already have. Best of luck to you sweetie. Nicolle