Gym is Open (Wednesday 10/17) and AARGH!

Good morning! I am not in a happy mood right now.  I am 2 lbs fatter today (I'm hoping is is the result of the overly sodium-ed seasoning packet I used last night to make white chicken chili).  Not only that, against my better judgment last night, I was lazy and used the rec center's foamy soap when I showered after class rather than dig through my gym bag to find my soap.  My itchy skin rash, which was almost cleared up, is now back. GRR. I also feel impatient this morning.  I have been doing this mile-walk for two days now, and I'm not sure I'll get any benefit from it.   My first instinct is to just say "Ptui!" and not exercise at all today.  I will fight this urge and get my sorry azz out for a walk in an hour or so.  I did strength training yesterday, so I won't do that again until tomorrow. What did you do to move your body today (and do you whine about it as much as I do?) Kix

I finally seemed to have gotten rid of my stiff neck so I did: 5 min warm up on elliptical 30 mins lower body weight training 15 mins upper body weight training 15 mins elliptical and as always the best part was when it was DONE!

Good morning, grumpy Kix.  I went through the same sort of thing when I hit around 220-225 pounds (not the itchy skin rash with the foamy soap, but the being stuck at the same weight, scale going up and down for reasons unknown to me, being impatient with my ever-so-slow progress, etc.).  I was in a funk for a couple months, and almost decided to "give up" and just resign myself to staying at 220-225 pounds.  After a while, I realized that I was letting my old way of thinking about my weight creep back in.  Intellectually I knew and understood that calories in needed to equal calories out, and that I really could control both of those things through what I ate and my exercise routine.  But my old "you'll never able to lose weight and keep it off" demons kept pestering me, telling me this time wasn't going to be any different, that I was just going to be fat forever.  I can't tell you exactly when things changed for me, but at some point I let the intellectual side of things take control, and shoved the demons aside for a while.  When I did what I knew I should be doing in terms of carbs, proteins, fats, and exercise, low and behold, I did continue to lose weight.  Granted, it's only 1-3 pounds per month, but it's still a downward trend.  And I'm all about trends, baby.  So, I say all of this to encourage you to keep doing what you are doing.  Stay the course, Kix.  Those last 20 pounds may take months to come off.  I've only lost 30 pounds in the past year, but I'm proof that it can be done.  And I know you have what it takes to see this through to the finish.   Okay, climbing down off my pep-talk soapbox now, and getting down to the real reason for this thread - today's exercise.  I'm going to the gym at lunch to lift weights for upper and lower body.  No exercise after work - having dinner with the equivalent of my mother-in-law as a belated birthday celebration.   Good luck to everyone finding the time and motivation to move today! Kellie

Trends?  You must be either an actuary or an epidemiologist!  I'm pretty sure you must be tired of giving me pep talks, but I sure appreciate it, a lot!  I think part of all of this agita is due to perimenopause, I feel like I have PMS all the time.  What I need to do is shake off the agita, and set some new goals for myself.  Right now, I feel like I'm working toward nothing, and when I don't see instant results, I get frustrated. I used to have an equivalent of a mother-in-law.  She (indirectly) was part of the reason I ended up leaving my SO; a couple of months later, I ran into her at the mall and she said, "I don't understand why you two broke up.  I always liked you very much."  WTF?!  Maybe if I had known this earlier, we wouldn't have broken up!    Nah, we probably would have, anyway.  Our main problem was that his mother always came first, then his job, then me.  I didn't like his priorities.  Have fun, and I'm still waiting for the post-mortem on your wild birthday weekend.  Will there be DVDs available on Netflix? Kix

Ahhh mom in laws.  I have a doozie! My husband hasn't spoken to her in over two years, but I continued talking to her until this past March.  I felt like I was stuck, because if I stopped speaking to her and then he got back in touch (which is sort of the story of his life ever since the parents were divorced when he was 5 and dad got custody even though he was a known alcholic, thus proving even the judge thought she was nuts).  Then she'd forgive him and probably hold it against me.  But continuing to talk to her pissed off the hubby.  I was stuck.  She is, by the way, completely insane.  Like wow I've never met anyone so crazy in my life insane.  Not the regular insane mother in law, the strait jacket mother in law.  So anyway, she went nuts about her son not speaking to her (and how I was the one keeping them apart??? I was the one trying to get him to just call her so I didn't have to listen to her crap anymore) and started calling us over and over again, leaving these long nutty messages till the time ran out, then calling right back and STARTING OVER with the long message, which would cut out again.... and again... and again...  I saved a bunch of them just in case I ever think I want to speak to her again, I will listen and remember why I will never speak to her again.  So, we're going on 24 hours straight, with a combined 214 messages between our cell phones and home phone.  We counted.  Finally I called her back.  I told her she was crazy.  She told me she wanted me to send her all of our wedding gifts and the 1st anniversary dishes she had just ordered.  I was supposed to ship them back to her.  The anniversary gift was a setting for 8 that weighed an ungodly amount, and then, among other things, a huge clock for our wedding that weighs like 50 lbs.  I am supposed to pay to ship these heavy things that were gifts???  I ended up breaking all the dishes and then sending them back.  We put the clock in storage, will probably sell it in a garage sale or something.  The other small stuff we threw out.  Oddly enough, until that day, she'd been really supportive on the weight thing.   She got nasty that day, but so did I so who knows how she really felt.  Some of the things she said about how I'd never be able to have kids and they'd never let someone so fat adopt really bugged me, and possibly helped my finally make a decision about weight loss surgery.  I had been on the fence for 3 years, but maybe I should thank her for helping me decide to get my life on track.  Our lives are much happier without her in the picture also, so maybe losing her mind was a good thing.. for us.

Wow, your MIL makes mine sound totally normal...  I feel for you and your husband - it's tough to have a close family member that it's just impossible to have a healthy relationship with.  But sometimes it's the only choice for your own sanity.   By the way, love that you broke the dishes and mailed them back.  Sounds like something I would do Kellie

You almost nailed it - I'm an attorney for an insurance company, and I sometimes deal with rating issues, actuarial justification, etc.  So while not an actuary, I do speak a bit of their language....   I'm glad to be able to give you pep talks!  In an odd ways, it's also helpful to me because it keeps me mindful about what I should be doing.  I can relate to the agita caused by hormones; I turn into an evil witch for 5-7 days before my period.  And since I'm usually a happy-go-lucky, the glass is more than half full, rose-colored glasses kind of gal, it makes me super cranky!  Regarding not seeing instant results, you have to work on thinking more long-term now.  Your progress is going to slow down; we cannot lose weight like gangbusters forever.  When I reached that point, I switched my focus to increase my exercise and adding more diversity to my workout routine.  I knew I wasn't going to lose that much more weight, but I could definitely continue to improve my health through exercise.  And although I've only lost about 20 pounds since January, 2007, my shape and size has changed pretty dramatically.  I still weigh around 200 pounds, depending on the day, and I've had several people tell me that, based on my appearance, I look like I weigh around 160.  I'll take that.  Anyway, that's the long-winded way of saying that you may need to work on changing your focus a little bit.  I'm available for additional pep talks as needed.  Your ex definitely had his priorities screwed up.  My rule = never have a SO that's hung up on their mother!   Birthday post-mortem?  I don't remember any birthday   Just lots of margaritas, a visit with one of the seven deadly sins (gluttony), and a very late nigh****ching the Indians beat the Sox!  There will be no video forthcoming on Netflix, but who knows what my show up on youtube Have a great day -  Kellie

Bummer Kix, I bet its just salt - and no one can be in a good mood with a rash!  I am in a pretty good mood, although the computer thing is really bothering the crap out of me, and my husband is only a notch or two above bothering the crap out of me.  But I hopped on the scale this morning to find I'd lost 2.4 lbs overnight, so my mood has been cushioned by that.  Also, I've still been wearing the same 32 pants and shorts since surgery, and nothing smaller has fit but my regulars are looking too big.  I bought a pair of the same shorts in 28 on sale a few months ago, and I try them on once a week. I was starting to wonder if I'd get to wear them at all before it was too cool.   At first they wouldn't even go over my thighs, lately they are all they way over my butt, but not my stomach.  TODAY THEY ZIPPED, without even much effort.  I'm going to wait another few days to wear them though, because they are still tight enough that I'd worry a little about ripping them.  But woohoo, the lower half is finally shrinking a little. Anyway, I am working from home today, everyone at the lab is on Boston for a conference.  I got out of it thankfully, because I shouldn't be dragging around luggage quite yet.  (And I didn't want to fly all that way in a tiny airplane seat!)  As soon as I finish this I'm going to do 20 minutes on the bike and then get back to work.  On a bad note, my husband bought pre-sliced banana bread that is pretty low in sugar (8g per slice) BUT I am being overly tempted by it right now.  I had half a slice last night - big mistake, I couldn't stop thinking about the damned banana bread!!  It tasted so good and made my pouch so happy.  I appreciate that he looked for something low sugar just in case I wanted some, but I really would prefer if he bought the highest sugar one so I knew I couldn't eat it and wouldn't be so tempted.  I've been wanting banana bread and zucchini bread and pumpkin bread pretty bad, probably because of the changing seasons.  Must resist...  I know its going to be a trigger until he eats it all. 

Dunny, congrats on fitting into the smaller pants!  I still struggle with buying pants -- if they fit in the waist, they are way too tight in the thighs (my thighs are so huge that Congress is getting ready to admit them into the Union, making them the 51st and 52nd states ).  What I ended up doing with some sale leggings I bought from Junonia was buying them to fit my thigh, and then just pinning them at the waistband with a big azz quilting safety pin.  (I'd like to give a shoutout to Junonia, they list all the measurements -- not just the bust, waist, and hip -- for each item of clothing). I could have my pants tailor made for me from Plus Woman, which is where I used to buy my pants when I was circus fat, but I keep hoping that some of this thigh fat will go away.  I could wear a size 18 pant in terms of waist and hip measurement -- thanks to Thighgantor and Thighgantorina, I wear a size 22 pant.  Ah, the joys of being shaped like a bowling pin. I'd have gone to Boston, mostly to see our OH pal Julie (White Tulip) over at the Cape.  Whether she'd be ready to see me is another matter entirely!  One of the ways I torture myself is to read the weekly food ads from our local grocers.  I wanted to weep when I saw the ad for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  I love those cookies -- they are soft and chewy and taste just like pumpkin gingerbread.  Sigh.  I haven't caved in yet in terms of eating that kind of stuff, but I did eat bits of my taco salad shell when we went out to eat Mexican food on Sunday.  I ate the softened bits, it sort of tasted like pie crust. I'm eating a late lunch -- bits of a half-chicken from Whole Foods (one of their rotesserie ones, I don't know why I'm craving rotisserie chicken lately).  Costco's is much better, and you get a whole chicken for the price of a half chicken at Whole Paycheck, but I don't like cold chicken leftovers. Kix

Thighgantor and Thighgantorina?  Hoppy and Bob?  Blobby?  Any other body parts with names?  You are hilarious Kix.  I like rotisserie chicken too, I eat a leg or thigh while its still hot, and husband eats the rest of the half usually - the other half goes in things I'm cooking because I don't really like it cold or reheated either.  I tried some canned chicken for lunch today.  Blech.  Not making that mistake again.  As far as carbs, I've had a few already - a handful of baked tortilla chips were much too good, so tortilla chips are now outlawed.  I do eat 2-4 whole grain crackers every night though, with cheese or light cream cheese, 12 grain, and they are yummy.  I have not eaten bread or tortillas or anything like that yet, they aren't tempting, and I hope it stays that way for a long time!  The one slice of banana bread was a bad idea, but if I only do something like that once or twice a month I'll be very satisfied with myself I think.  If I totally deprive myself I'll get in to trouble and end up being bad, at least that's always been my pattern in the past.