Need Some Help

Hey guys, This week I have been having problems with emotional eating. I know it's a reaction to dad's death, but I really need to figure out how to deal with this. I am planning on seeing a therapist who specializes in this area, but he can't get me in for a month. Until then I'm trying to find some ways to get through this without gaining tons of weight. Have any of you read a book you would recommend that deals with this? Or do you have any hints or helpful pointers? I can recognize that I'm eating due to emotions but stopping it is a whole other story. I'm also hoping that by saying it out loud it will be another step in acknowledging this. I have dealt with this very little since surgery so it's catching me by surprise.

I am sorry I don't have any advice but I wanted to offer my support to you during this difficult time. Hugs. Jo

Thanks Jo, it truly does help. I'm trying to really to be honest about this and I figure if I keep talking about it, it will help me deal with it rather than the whole denial thing. I wish I had a switch in the brain that I could just flip whenever I get like this!

Does that therapist offer group rates?  I think I need to see him, too.  I don't know if I'm having problems with emotional eating -- lately, I'm eating when I'm not hungry.  I didn't think I had any emotional issues going on, but perhaps there's something I haven't identified. I don't need to start eating when I'm not hungry.  Not after I've come this far. I did identify a book at the library called Winning After Losing: Keep Off The Weight You've Lost, Forever.  The author is Stacey Halprin.  I just requested it., so I don't know yet if it's any good. I was also shocked that it came on shortly after my 1-yr anniversary.  I never had a bit of trouble, then suddenly, BOOM! Kix

I hear you - I eat when I'm not hungry at all too. And it's usually AFTER I eat my usual snack/meal, so that tells me it's all emotion driven. It's like I have to have something in my mouth at all times - I usually use tootsie rolls for when my sugar gets really low but I went through an entire bag in just a few days because I just had to have something in my mouth. It's like this nervous habit I can't break. Of course it doesn't help that my period is about to start - yesterday it was like the perfect "bermuda triangle" day - my period, stress and grief all just collided. I seriously ate more than 2500 calories, and not the best of choices within those calories. I determined I would write everything done and track all my calories no matter what, I want to remind myself how hard it can get sometimes. Tell me how that book works, I'm open to just about anything. I did find an interesting web article on emotional eating that makes some very good points - here it is if you are interested http://www.innerself.com/Health/emotional_eaters.htm Seriously, I think they need to also operate on the brain when they go in - THAT'S what really got us into trouble in the first place

Hi, PJ.  I'm an emotional eater too, so can really relate to what's going on with you.  Looks like Kix has recommended what may be a helpful book, so I'll offer some insight based on my experience in dealing with emotional eating post-WLS.   First, you've already done the hardest part:  you've recognized the behavior and you understand what it causing it.  For me, when I'm eating because I'm emotional or stressed, it's because I'm trying to avoid dealing with the emotions or the stressor.  So by eating, I can put off dealing with those things, at least for a while.  But I realized that I do have to deal with it eventually...   Second, I really explored my own behaviors around emotional/stress eating.  I thought about how maladaptive those behaviors are for me, and that eating doesn't really help fix the problems.  Since I'm a (relatively) logical, rational person, this exploration was helpful because it made me realize that emotion/stress eating was not a healthy, adaptive behavior.  And dang it, I want to be healthy and well-adapted!!!   Third, I accepted that I cannot change almost 40 years of maladaptive behaviors overnight.  But by recognizing the issue(s) and committing time and energy to work on it, I know I will be successful in the long run.   I hope some of this ranting is helpful to you.  I'm sure your time with the therapist will be well spent, and hopefully you'll find some good insight from other sources to help you until your therapy appointment.   Continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers -  Kellie

Hi PJ - I am sorry you are struggling with this. I am definitely an emotional eater also.  Its been a constant struggle in my life and the main reason I got to the weight I did.  I use it to numb myself or make myself feel better when I am down or anxious or bored.  I don't know that I have any tips except what was working for me (short-term) during the pre-op diet.   That was constant vigilance.  Every time I went for food I asked myself if I was hungry or not.  I took a minute and really thought about what I was doing and why I was doing it.   Do I REALLY need this?  Is there something else I could do instead to feel better?  WHY am I hungry?  Sometimes I would still eat too much, but sometimes I would read a book I enjoyed, or go for a walk, or take a hot bubble bath, or call a friend I haven't talked to in a while, or a friend I talk to almost every day.  Anything to distract me and ease my tension.   If I did give in, I tried not to get wrapped up in guilt or anger at myself - I just said "you messed up, you'll mess up again probably" and then thought of the other times that day when I didn't give in, every little battle I did win.  Every tiny little victory is something to be proud of.  I did see a therapist for a while, and we focused more on where the anxiety and depression was coming from than on my eating.  When we did talk about the eating, it was usually in terms of how food was used in my family as a reward or a comfort, etc.  The habits I learned at a young age to self medicate.  (I come from a long line of self-medicators, mostly pot but definitely food or alcohol too.. food not surprising with all those pot munchies I guess).  Its interesting that you posted this as I was pondering it as I fell asleep last night.  I actually grazed a little bit yesterday too, and it was completely emotional.  My husband and I had this discussion about how he thinks we are drifting apart and it completely took me by surprise.  I still don't see where he's coming from on that one but anyway... I caught myself with a hand in the cashew container more than once and a couple of crackers "fell" out of their package and "jumped" into my mouth also.  When I added up my calories for the day I was almost 500 over my goal, and about 700 over where I have been averaging most days.   I didn't even realize what I was doing at the time and it scared me a little that I am already doing it again.  I was really hard on myself and then I thought about how I just need to go back to the constant vigilance again.  Its a pain to THINK about every bite you put in your mouth, in fact it could probably drive you nuts, but its what I've got to do if I ever want to get out of the predicament I ate myself in to.  At least you know what you are doing, and you want to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand.  If you find any good resources, please share the titles, etc.   You have a lot to go through in the next few months before you can fully accept the loss of your father.  I wish you the best on that journey and hope that you quickly find what works for you in terms of controlling your eating.  *hug* Jenn PS - you could chew on a straw or pencil (or your nails) or pick up some other nasty habit like that instead of tootsie rolls :)  Also, have you ever thought about a pet?  (if you don't have one) - I know you live alone and I think pets can be a great comfort sometimes -  my kitty always wants to snuggle the most when she knows I am upset