Excited, scared, worried and more

My paperwork is supposed to be sent to my insurance soon for approval so I am getting closer and closer to having surgery. I am having so many different feelings--many of them not what I expected.  Obviously, I am excited--excited to begin losing weight, feeling better, doing stuff I want, and obviously I am scared--I have never had any type of surgery and being put to sleep scares me and obviously I am worried about complications etc. But I am also feeling sad.  Sad that I will no longer be able to eat the foods I love, sad that food will no longer be an option to comfort me.  I am anxious about all the comments I will get when I start losing weight--I don't want a lot of people calling attention to my weight loss--that makes me uncomfortable, but I know people will and I know they are just trying to be supportive---but how do I handle the discomfort of the "limelight"?  I am nervous about what I will look like thinner--I have always been obese and can not imagine what I might look like at a somewhat normal weight.  What if I am ugly?  I also am nervous about being thinner--there is a certain comfort to my fatness.  Can anyone relate to any of this?

I can relate to all of it, and I suspect others in this forum can relate as well.  WLS comes with a lot of issues, and you just have to break them down into manageable chunks and deal with them bit by bit.  You may find it helpful to keep a journal about what your feeling - sometimes things become less scary just by putting them into words.   The other thing I would suggest is working on one thing at a time, to the extent that's practical for you.  Sort through the issues you see coming and prioritize them in the order you're likely to need to deal with them.  Then just start parsing things through....  What's the old anecdote -- How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time!  The issues that come up with WLS are at least as big as an elephant so, speaking metaphorically, take one bite and start chewing!   And regarding being "ugly," it's not going to happen.  You will look different than you do today, but losing weight will not make you ugly!   Best of luck on your continuing journey -  Kellie

I think all of those feeling are absolutely 100% normal (and frequent) as WLS approaches.  I know I went through a lot of turmoil during the last few months second guessing my decision, worrying, wondering what would happen, wondering how I would cope with being "normal" etc.  One day at a time, the thing about this process is that it forces you to face all of those feelings you've been numbing with food.  Whatever, whyever, I overeat - I have to deal with that now constructively or I am going to end up with some other addiction.  This isn't just an opportunity to lose weight and have a healthier body, this is an opportunity to heal ourselves inside as well.  I wish you all the best on your journey,  Jenn

Boy I sure can relate to ALOT of that!  I find it impossible to close my eyes and get a visual of myself thin.  There are times when I rub my fat belly like its beautiful to me ( even though I hate it!) Does that make sense?  I hate everything fat makes me feel, but thats easily disregarded when there's mac & cheese in front of me. Go figure!  When someone complements you, just smile and say thanks. Its your turn to shine...and no way will you ever be ugly as long as the inside of you comes thru..the side that is a good person regardless of what the scale says!  Vent any time...there will always be someone who can relate here!