No Longer AWOL

Hi, gang! Sorry I've been AWOL the past week.  I've been busy hosting and attending a week-long pity party. My weight loss has slowed significantly, and I felt really frustrated about it.  I exercised, I ate protein, I drank water, and nothing seemed to help.  Instead of staying the course, I hit a wall (think of Wyle E. Coyote when he launches himself from an Acme Slingshot trying to catch the Road Runner) and decided not to be obedient. I ate potato salad, I quit exercising, I found myself eating when I wasn't physically hungry (eating several slices of cheese two or three times a day in addition to my meals), and basically hating myself.  I stopped going to the rec center, and I stayed away from this forum because I was afraid of having a major temper tantrum in front of my friends. I'd like to thank my good friend and angel, PJ, for firmly (but kindly)  planting her hiking boot up my backside and reminding me that things are much better now than they were a year ago, so get off it and get over myself!  (Of course, she didn't put it like that, but it's what I needed to hear!  ) PJ, I do owe you one.  I'm back on track with my eating.  Besides, we're finally out of potato salad.  I went to the rec center today and swam a bunch of laps.  After my shower, I was in the dressing room sharing a mirror with an aqua classmate.  As I combed my hair, my upper arms, Hoppy and Bob, swayed in the breeze as if they were entered in a hula contest.  My classmate asked, "How much weight have you lost?"  No one knew I'd had WLS, but when you see Hoppy and Bob, it's obvious.  I told her, "300 lbs.," and the next thing I know, everyone in the locker room came to look at me.  , ask me questions, and talk to me at length.  They weren't being rude at all, they were all marveling at how well I've done in only a  year.  It was really an ego boost.  Of course, then I left there and went to Whole Foods, where a little boy looked at me, then looked at his older brother and asked, "Is that a boy or a girl?"  I know my boobs hang like tea bags, but c'mon! Anyway, the moral of the story is -- this forum and the folks here are a great support system, and if someone is having an issue, don't hide away and suffer quietly.  We're all friends here, and we have a lot of offer one another, and not just for the good times.  Don't hide when the going gets tough, share it so we can all learn from one another (and kick butt when necessary). It's nice to be back! Kix

Welcome back!  We missed your always entertaining perspective!  I am glad you are coming out of the funk, and in the future maybe you'll recognize it earlier and know what does the trick.  Best Wishes, Jenn

Hey, Jenn: I'm not one to get depressed easily, and this came totally out of nowhere.  I think it is probably a delayed reaction to all the changes I've gone through as a post-op.  Either that, or menopause is beginning to tap dance all over me.  I sure hope it doesn't happen again any time soon.  Potato salad is quite fattening, and Costco sells vats of it for very low prices. Kix

Welcome back, Kix.  I really missed your sharp wit and charm this past week.   I'm glad PJ was able to help bring you out of your funk.  If it helps, I think we all struggle with this; I know I did and still do sometimes.  It was so easy to lose right after surgery and I lost like gangbusters for about 12 months.  Then things crept to an almost imperceptible crawl.  Then things just stopped...   I realized that I could either stay where I was -- which wasn't acceptable to me -- or I needed to reevaluate what I was doing and make a new plan.  So I made a new plan, and that worked for about 4 months.  Then things just stopped.  Again.  I think I've been losing for so long that my body just wants me to settle some place.  So when I keep doing the same thing in terms of diet and exercise for 6-8 weeks, my body goes "aaaah, finally" and stops losing.  When that happens, I have to switch up what I'm doing in terms of diet and exercise; so far, when I do that I manage to lost 10-12 pounds before my body realizes what's going on and stops again.  I call it the "drop and stop" method of losing...   It can be frustrating, but I've learned a lot about myself along the way.  And I've learned a lot of exercising, and eating right.  And about persistence.  And patience.   Stay the course, my friend.  You will be glad you did -  Kellie

Thanks for the support and friendship, Kellie! What you say about changing up exercise and food plans appears to be very true.  It's a lesson I need to learn now that the weight isn't magically falling off in big hunks like it did as a new post-op. I also need to look within myself to see if I'm ready to accept myself at this weight if indeed this is the weight my body chooses.  I really want to get under 200 lbs, but is it that important when compared to all I've gained this year in terms of quality of life?  Definitely not! Persistence and patience have never been deeply ingrained in my DNA, but I guess even an old dog can learn new tricks!  Kix

Kix, I really needed to read your post today...I am really struggling in the pity party department, especially around compulsive eating.  I guess I can get back on track today, right???? Lori

Lori, climb aboard the Pity Party Express, we're about to leave Pity Town behind. Potato salad is now banned from the house, and the evil cheese that keeps winking at me is nearly gone.  I don't usually binge on cheese, but we bought a huge box of  Kraft American cheese singles at Costco because I usually cook myself a small cheeseburger for lunch and this cheese melts nicely on the patty.  I didn't realize it would turn from Kraft American cheese to Kraft Crack Cocaine!  I have a crisper drawer full of cheese sticks and mozarella slices from Whole Foods that don't whisper my name in the dark, so what else can it be other than addictive drugs mixed in with the Kraft cheese? Anyway, if I can get back on track, so can you.  Otherwise, PJ and I are making a road trip to Utah.  We're only ten hours by car (shorter if we pretend I-80 is the Autobahn).  Kix

Its because the other stuff is from WHOLE FOODS, which means its probably great quality, but kraft singles are probably not - after all, kids love em.  Its just not as addicting if it might be good for you   I am craving cheese like a maniac now, but last night my husband made a grilled cheese for dinner and actually smelling it killed the cheese demons for a few hours, so its probably in my head.  Liquid diets bite the big one!  Oh well, I have to learn to suck it up and deal sometime, right?   By the way, may I just say, you rock.  It takes a lot of guts to admit what you went through last week, and I am sooo happy to read how upbeat and energized you sound now.  Take care of yourself! Jenn

Kix, Maybe I should buy you and PJ plane tickets to come kick my butt!!!!  It would be worth it if it would work.  Well, I'm going through some real soul searching.  I am listening to "Mindless Eating" on my iPod and bought 4 books about dealing with emotional eating...guess I'm just going to have to face up to myself.  I was so hoping this surgery would cure me of this...it hasn't...but, it has given me 150 kick start, the rest is up to me! Thanks so much for being there Kix and the rest of you guys! Lori

HEY KIX,         I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK. WE MISSED YA... I MUST ALSO SAY HAPPY SURGIVERSARY EARLY TO YA. I SEE TOMMORROW IS YOUR ONE YEAR OUT. THAT ALONE SHOULD BE  A HAPPY DAY. I KNOW WE ALL GET IN MOODS WHERE WE ARE JUST BLAUGH... AND BELIEVE ME THAT AFTER ALMOST NINETEEN MONTHS OUT THOSE TATER SALAD DEMONS ARE STILL GONNA BE THERE. MINE COME IN ALL FORMS LOL.... SO WE JUST HAVE TO KICK BUTT. I STILL CANT HAVE CERTAIN THINGS IN THE HOUSE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE BUT THATS BECAUSE IM NOT NORMAL... IM A FOOD ADDICT. BUT WE ALL HAVE ROUGH PATCHES AND WE STILL MAKE IT... WE HAVE ALL COME SO FAR BUT WE JUST HAVE TO STAY ON OUR TOES....SO HANG IN THERE AND WE SURE HAVE MISSED YA.... ALWAYS KNOW YOU CAN COME TO US,.., HUGS MARGE