I need to fess up...

I don't know how to begin to thank all of you for what you wrote to me. I am feeling less alone, more sure of my decision, and re-gaining my confidence in my ability to cope. I went all day without really crying, but the three pints of blueberries I put away in the past 48 hours may have helped. I'm printing out these posts and sticking them to my frig so I can get at them every time I doubt myself. I hope one day I will be able to support you like you have done for me. -Julie

Hi, 51, 460 lbs. and barely could walk.  Support myself, very little family fast approaching wheel chair time.  Fast forward 13 months later, 52 years old, 295 lbs. walking, need new knees and can have them at 40 lbs. from now.  I am going through a bout of celulitus in my stomach so my emotions are all over the place.  But life is good. You are right the surgery is only a tool that is going to give you an opportunity to get your life back.  You can't get the youth back, and seriously in this day and age would you want to.  You will find you will be able to go out and do things.  Food will no longer be your long lost friend but it will take it's place in your life where it belongs.  I did the intensive group support with some help, but I am doing one on one to handle all the bullsh*t that got me to almost 500 lbs. 

 

You are not going backwards.  Being fat and being under 40 is one thing.  Being fat especially those of us who are "morbidly obese" and over 40, different story.

Only you can be sure of what you want to do.  From my experience, I would do it again.  Please feel free to PM me if you wish someone to talk to.

 

Jeanne

*hugs*  I am so sorry you are feeling these doubts but I think they are completely normal.  I am having crazy panic and doubts too right now.   I've had more second thoughts than I can count in the last few days and am not coping well either.  I really admire your strength going it alone, and from what I understand the emotional roller coaster before and for a while after is normal.  But whatever your reasons for having surgery, you will still be you.  Imagine how much better life will be if you are mobile again!  Whatever else you gain from it (including a longer happier life with so much less struggle day to day doing everything)  you will be giving yourself the gift of mobility.  Its even more important if you go it mostly alone, you are giving yourself independence.  That's a much better gift for your body and soul than the temporary comfort of food (and I don't know about you but when I turn to food for comfort I often feel sick from the big unhealty meal anyway).  Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I am tired and having a hard time finding the words I want.  I wish you all the best with your mental journey.  Have you thought about talking to a counselor or anything about these complicated emotions?  Maybe they could help you sort out what you want and need.  *hug hug hug* Jenn