when people mean well

Went to my curves today and met the owner. She was helping me around the curcuit  and she asked me had I really thought about having gastric by pass. She is a nurse and said she has seen alot of complications. I told her I have had three years fighting the system and 3 years to think about it. I told her I was aware of the risk and or complications and I feel this is the best thing for me at this time. I know she ment well but how do some of you post ops deal with people like this?                                                       Annie

My reaction really depends on the person I'm dealing with.  Some people just don't know a lot about weight loss surgery and are open to learning about it.  Other folks are dead set against it and nothing you can say will change their minds.  So I try to gauge what I say based on what I'm getting from the other person.   Also, I do not feel like I have to justify my decision to anyone, especially not someone who is basically a stranger to me.  You know your personal situation and will make the best decisions for yourself based on a lot of factors.  In this situation, the person is a nurse; of course she's seen lots of complications.  Did she also talk about the folks that didn't have complications?  I suspect not...   Good luck on your continuing journey -  Kellie

Annie, I told people that I knew that WLS is a gamble.  But, remaining super morbidly obese has severe health implications.  I am now 46 years old.  At the time of the surgery I was 44.  My parents were teenagers when I was born.  They are now 63 and 64 years old.  They have diabetes, congestive heart failure and a number of other terrible health problems.  Both are super morbidly obese and cannot walk without a walker.  I had a guarantee that was my future if I continued on my life as it was.  I tried every diet out there.  So, I looked at it this way, I could not have the surgery and know exactly how my life was going to turn out, or I could have the surgery, deal with the complications up (which might include death) or possibly have a new life, one free of the deabilitating disease of morbid obesity.  Luckily, I got the new life.  But, I was prepared either way.  Some things that I did do, that I think is very important to my success is that I learned as much as possible about the surgery before I did it.  I also followed all the rules to the letter (which isn't easy) because I knew that my pouch would heal better.  Consequently, I've never thrown up or had any problems.  I know I also was lucky, but, I don't think my diligence hurt any! Big hugs, Annie. Lori

Just like you did.  Thank them for their concern and leave it be.  I choose to assume they meant well and leave it at that. Sally

Annie, I agree with Sally and the other posts, assume the person means well and leave it at that.  I am 52 years old and had a BMI of 69 when I started.  I was fortunate that my only co-mo was arthritis but if I continued on I would be wheelchair bound and I am my sole means of support so a life in a nursing home was not what I wanted.  It is funny because I have had no negative feed back from anyone.  I know that many in the medical profession sometimes have negative opinions about GBS.  I would take the risk every day of the week.  I am one year post op and have lost 160 lbs.  I am not thin, far from it but I would do it again in a heartbeat.   Take the manager's words and file them away in the FYI file of your brain and move on.  You have worked too hard in your journey to have any second thoughts.   Jeanne

So far I have been very open with everyone I know and new people I meet if it comes up (like my hairdresser who I told I wanted something that wouldn't tangle since I was having surgery and would be in bed for a while).  I've told gosh, everyone.  Partly because I am excited about it and partly because they would figure it out anyway if I drop weight really fast.  So far I've had one nurse who was a little bit negative about it, and one friend who thought it was much too drastic (being thin her whole life of course).  One of my aunts was also a little witchy about it, but that's her normal personality. I don't invite their opinions but of course people give them anyway, and I've been pleasantly surprised so far.  Most people have been very supportive and encouraging.  I am a lucky girl!  As for the negative ones, it is probably a good idea to think that they have good intentions, even if they don't    I know a lot of people keep it secret, and if I thought through it better I might have too, but I just started blabbing like crazy haha.  I was excited.  I was wondering what affected people's choice to be open about it or private about it?  I am actually very private in real life, so its kind of weird how this is unfolding.

I think that Curves as a corporation does not embrace weight loss surgery.  I used to participate in a Curves forum and almost everyone there is against the surgery.... I think that Curves is part of the weight loss industry (a better part than most for sure!) and if people find a permanant solution to obesity they might not be as likley to go to a curves instead of a regular gym.... just my opinion.