Crappy, Crappy night

I was so excited for tonight - it was my first hike with one of the hiking groups I joined. I got there and ended up waiting for an hour, waiting for the rain to stop. Once it did we started heading out at a really fast pace, I'm talking really fast! I was fine with that, I lagged behind but I was keeping my heart rate exactly were it should be. There was a group behind me that caught up with me, one of them was one of the leaders of the group. She looked at me and freaked, starting saying I was going to have a heart attack and I needed to stop now. I knew exactly why she was so adamant about it - my face goes totally red when I exert myself. It's a lovely family trait that I will never be able to get rid of. Everyone always thinks I am about to pass out when actually I am just fine. I  explained to her that it was normal for me, that I was fine, etc. She then kept insisting that I was going to have a heart attack, and she actually took out a BP and heart monitor. She sat there and took my BP (which was perfectly normal) and my heart rate (which was in range) and still insisted I was going to have a heart attack. I can understand her being concerned, but she just wouldn't listen to me. By now I was getting pissed off and all those feelings of always being the "fat girl" began to surface. It felt just like gym class, where I was always the last one to finish anything while everyone laughed. Everyone was staring at me, I was feeling so uncomfortable and humiliated. I ended up making up some excuse to turn around and head back down and pretty much cried the whole way down. I know I'll feel better tomorrow but right now I just keep tearing up - this is the exact reason why I like to hike alone. I hate feeling like this, it was so painful when i was growing up. Silly me thought I could be like "everyone else" but instead I stand out, again. And not in a good way. This truly sucks - I don't think I'll be going on anymore hikes with them, that's for sure. That's it, I'm done venting - I just had to tell people who would probably understand.

Thanks hon and you make a good point about how someone who is more "normal" would react. This group was really my first group of new people since my surgery (well, except for school) and part of my excitement was they never knew I was obese. It was like a new start - so much for that idea. I know they say that how you react to conflict is only 20% the actual situation and 80% past hurts. That's pretty true for me with this and I think I might be chatting with my counselor soon about this. It's still bothering me and I know it just brought up a lot of stuff I have never dealt with. I guess in a way that's good, it just hurts. I'll try the hot flash thing - I can feign a pretty good southern accent and can really make it believable! Thanks again

Where is this group leader?  I want to visit her and kick her azz.  How dare she insult my pal PJ?!    Nothing like feeling marginalized to screw with one's good time, and who taught that leader her people skills, anyway?  Besides, I have never known a redhead to not turn red for one reason or another.  Isn't that just part of being a redhead?   What I'd do is find another group, then speak with the group leader prior to hiking and tell her that while you glow like a meteor when you hike, you are physically fine and will this be a problem?  Secondly, if that group with the evil leader is sponsored by someone, I'd complain to the sponsor about the leader's bullying interaction.   Where were you today that you had an hour's worth of rain?  We had 5 minutes of faux hail around 3 PM, then nothing but thunder and evil looking skies the rest of the day. Chin up, and don't allow that beast to ruin your holiday.  That stick she has up her butt is probably chafing her, so that should make you feel better.  Kix

That made me laugh   I would LOVE to see you take her on - you can tell she's from the east and has a very obnoxious personality. I did get an email from her before this hike and noticed that she was very 'straightforward.' Now I categorize her as more of a "hike nazi" with of course that stick stuck up her butt.  I think I'll skip the hiking groups for a while - I've got to admit this has knocked me off my feet and I'm feeling a bit bruised. I'll still hike, just with friends or alone. I usually tell people I'm with that I tend to go red but totally forgot this time. I won't forget the next time! Our hike was in Golden - it didn't pour the whole time but it was lightning and they wanted to wait. It was a beautiful hike, but I didn't see it until I came back down. They were going so fast up the trail that I just had to keep my eyes on the trail and not on the scenery. What an experience that was - I am ready for the holiday and a nice break!

Whoops!  I'll step in and defend PJ because I didn't interpret that as a geographic slur at all, or any disrespect for folks from the East Coast. What I gleaned from her reply is that this hike Nazi ("No hike for you!") exemplified the stereotype of a pushy, rude, obnoxious New Yorker.  I didn't pick up any indication that she thought all Easterners were like this.  I think it's one of those times when the written word is misinterpreted. I get similar reactions all the time when people find out I'm from California.  Californians are evil,  move into perfectly nice states, drive up the housing prices and ruin the schools.  Californians are all nuts.  Californians are what resulted when the rest of the country tipped itself upside down and all the crazies rolled toward the ocean, thus California was born.  I don't take it personally at all. As for being straightforward, well, I'm a Sagittarian, so I pretty much can't help it!    Sometimes it can be a character flaw, especially when stuff just pops out of my mouth before I have a chance to filter it.    Fortunately, I have learned to control this a bit as I've gotten older! Kix

Ahh, you know I would never call most east coaster's obnoxious (especially one future Queen Latifah look alike ) - straightforward absolutely, but that's a good thing.  Obnoxious is saved for those people who hack me off whether from the east coast or the south! I worked as a east coast radio rep for 5 years and got to know many clients who were a kick to work with - I always knew where they stood on EVERYTHING! And I loved it. Great bunch of folks. So, kiss and make up?

Looks like I was the one who misinterpreted a post!    I should have known better!  Oy!  Is my face red, and not from hiking!  Kix