Picking a target weight

I need some advice. I know my surgeon will give me a goal weight, but I want to have my own goal. I figured getting into the BMI range below 30 was the best way to go, but when I told the few people who know what I weigh now, they were shocked and thought it was too low. I'm 5'11", and my goal had been 185lbs. I have asked women my height with great bodies what they weigh, and they said 160-170.  I have been overweight since 6. Am I being unrealistic in terms of being that weight at my height after such a long history of obesity? I'm not looking to be thin, more of a Queen Latifah thing. - J

I have a personal goal of 240... I was 300lbs at 13, so I  am happy that I am under 300! (1 yr out and down 160lbs to 288) I think I might be able to get under that, but I am already sucessful with the surgery and if I get to 240, well... I cannot remenber weighing that (I was in the 250s at 11, and cannot remeber before then). That way anything under that weight is icing on the cake :-)  Shellie

It's funny that you ask this because I have been reevaluating my goal lately. My goal was 180 initially, which means my bmi would be in the 20's. I'm 5'6" and large framed, so I thought this was pretty reasonable. My Dr. gave me the parameter of being between 160-200, so i felt pretty comfortable with that. I wasn't sure if I could even make it 180 but I'm only 18 away and feel pretty comfortable that I'll make it, so now I'm thinking of modifying my goal to 165. (supposedly my 'ideal weight' is 142) I think it's smart to set yourself a good,  initial goal that is realistic - you also have to consider you will have 10-20 pounds of skin, so if you shoot too low it won't be healthy. Your goal sounds pretty reasonable to me - as long as you feel comfortable with it, that's all that matters. I've set other goals for myself as well: doing my first backpacking trip, hiking a 14'er and running an adventure race. I'm working hard to achieve those goals and in the process I'll feel pretty comfortable with whatever weight I'll end up at since I'll feel healthy. Those goals have helped TONS - I have a nice motivator to keep up with my exercise! And personally, I think Queen Latifah is one hot babe, so I imagine you'll be in the same category!

You're right PJ. I need to get together my real life/activity goals and not just focus on the numbers. Would you do me a favor and if you hear me start to obsess about how much I am losing, or not losing, would you refocus me on these goals instead of size and numbers? Thanks PJ

5'11"!  I tell you, life isn't fair!  I would love to be tall!  We have tall people in the family, but my mother's darn gene pool diluted the tall factor (her people are all quite short).  I'm right in the middle at 5'5" My surgeon says I should be able to get down to 170-180, but some of that will come from plastic surgery.  I weighed 165-170 in high school, and that was a good weight for me.  We aren't small-boned people (good Scandinavian stock), so I can't imagine getting below 150, even in my wildest dreams. My personal goal is anything below 200.  I wouldn't mind looking like Queen Latifah, either! 

Sure seeing everything at the parade and reaching what I need on the top shelf is nice, but think about the drawbacks of being tall, not only as a woman (clothes, men, etc) but what about as a fat woman? Try melting into the woodwork when you enter a room late when you're 400 lbs of 5'11" woman. Or when you speak up as opposition to the powers that be, even if you try extra hard to be "nice" about it. I could tell you all sorts of stories............. But you brought up a good point....about high school weights. I was 250 through the most of hs, during which I was 12-16 (yes I was young). But I was able to walk 2-4 miles/day, play basketball, be active in music and theatre, canoe, bike, fit in seats, etc. I felt even better when I got married at 210. But honestly I saw no difference in my physical appearance between 210 and the 175++ I have since gained. But I FEEL it!!!! Maybe my first goal might be raised to 250????? -J

There is a lot to consider when setting your goal weight.  One is your age and how long you have been obese.  If you are "middle-aged," female, and obese most of your life,(like me!) you can't expect to reach the same weight as someone who is 30, male, and obese for five years.  Your bones even weigh more after years of obesity.   My goal was to be in the overweight BMI range.  Even though I don't have the big bone frame, I still can't get down to a normal BMI after all these years as SMO.  My surgeon suggested figuring losing 70% of your excess weight as a challenging but achievable goal.   And remember, it isn't just the weight that determines your look.  I'm still in the mid 170's but in a size 8 to 10.  I carry a lot of weight in my legs--that's not going to change--so non of the cute summer dresses for me.  Whatever weight you reach, still think through your body shape and how you can become satisfied with it.   Oh, and I'm 5'5" with a goal of 170. Good luck, Sally

I like your advice Sally, but at my lowest I was 16-18 and didn't yet have a body shape. I was a complete rectangle from shoulders to feet. Now I am round in the middle with an extension for inlaws (if I had them) in the butt. Since that was the last addition, it seems to be the first to go away. I had thought of aiming for a size rather than a weight, but sizes for women have all been scaled down so a previous 16 is now a 14, and then all 14's can be different actual sizes. I think you are right though, accepting what my body looks like is going to be the trick. And it'll be a process for me. - J

One of the things that I loved about my surgeon is that he is realistic.  He told me on the day of the operation when he came to see me in the waiting area that he thought 240 would be a good goal for me ( I am 5'8" and started at 460 lbs.)  As it turns out he couldn't do the lap and had to open me.  As soon as I woke up he was there and told me that if I wanted to do the 180 he thought I could do it.  Please understand I am 52 years old and have severe arthritis in my knees so exercise is very limited.  I just celebrated my 1 year and lost 160 lbs.   Set you goal and talk to your surgeon as to whether it is realistic.  My personal opinion is that 185 lbs. on 5'11" is great.   Good luck Jeanne

I am 5'1 and about 410 so even if I get into the 170-180 range I'll still have a higher BMI than many.  I'm just so darn short.  My doc hasn't given me a goal weight yet, but I personally just want to be under 200.  199 would be fine.  I haven't been under 200 since 4th grade or so probably.