Terrible day need encouragement

Ok, I have had one of those days.  This morning, I went to the doctor for a weigh in and to speak with him because my two months of diet was up.  I had lost 8 more lbs these last two weeks, but he was not happy with my progress.  He said for my weight I should have lost 40lbs by now, not 24.  He put me on the 800 cal diet for another month, and wants me under 400, prefereably around 370 before surgery.  370?  If could lose 70 lbs I wouldn't be in this predicament.  I have to say I was a little heartbroken - I was hoping that if I lost 20 it would be enough to start scheduling surgery, etc.  I didn't want to have it until July anyway because I have to travel at the end of June.  Now we won't even be talking about scheduling or anything until July, and who knows when I'll actually get in.  I am so dissappointed.   I was also very embarrassed, because as he was talking to me I started crying.  It was partly because this diet has been so hard, partly because I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since 6 the day before (I didn't have water this morning because I didn't want any extra water as weight).  I'm sure my blood sugar was low, I was starving.  It was very embarrassing to leave crying.   Then I got to my car, crying.  And tried to start my car.  Crying.  Nothing.  It wouldn't start.  Seemed like dead battery (on a 2005 card grr) It took a while before anyone parked near me came out of the hospital, so I could ask for a jump.  Two people tried jumping it from their car, and nothing.  So I called Ford roadside assistance, and they said someone would be there within an hour - stay by the car.  It is really really hot in San Antonio in the summer.  I stayed by the car (in and out of the car) for two hours!!  I called roadside back after about an hour and a half and they tracked the guy down.  He eventually showed up, and used a little charger/booster thing to jump it.  It started right away, and I let it run for a while before I drove home - then let it run at home for a few minutes to keep charging it but I got so thirsty I had to go inside & to do that I needed my keys (I didn't think of just taking the house key off the ring because I was a hungry thirsty idiot).  Turned off the car, and it wouldn't start.  I am supposed to pick up my husband in an hour, so I got my neighbor to jump it but no luck.  Agh!  What a crappy day.   Now that I am inside, I don't know what has come over me but I am just crying my eyes out.  And I can't go to food for comfort, which really ****** me off!  Its like, I know I shouldn't be this upset, but I was so excited this morning to get weighed, knowing I'd done really well lately.  And then to be told it wasn't good enough just really blows.   I have such a hard time with this diet.  My head is fuzzy all the time, my work is not going well because I can't concentrate.  I don't want to sound conceited, but the stuff I am working on for my dissertation is hard, its complicated, and it requires me to be able to think clearly and to be on my toes when my mentor asks me about it.  I just haven't had the ability and I am making stupid mistakes all the time.   I'm sorry to gripe, I just had to get it out somewhere.  Someone please tell me you've been there and I'll be ok - because part of me just wants to stop the diet and wait until I've graduated to look in to surgery again because I just wonder if I can do both.  That would be such a stupid thing to quit when I've already done all of the tests, I know.   I'm sooo close.  Thanks for reading. Jenn

Please do NOT stop the diet.  Get that thought right out of your head.  IT IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!  Period. End of Discussion.  You have already put far too much work in to the process and give in at this point.  Plus you are NOT a quitter who given up the second something get too hard.  Would you ever consider giving up on your dissertation?  No, you would not and how much more inportant is your health.   You CAN do this.  You WILL do this.  And you will be better for it.  This experience is really preparing you for WLS because you are learning that you cannot run to food for comfort. I am sorry your doctor was a jerk.  Sounds like his bedside manner could use some work.  But do not allow his comments to dissuade you from pursuing your goals.   Hugs, Tracy

Thank you Tracy, I know you are right.  It helps to read it though. :)  My doc is a jerk, which is weird because so many people have written about how nice he is.  The first time, the consultation, I thought he was a jerk but I thought maybe he was rushed or something - bad day whatever.  Guess not.   It would have been nicer to approach it as "24 lbs is a good start, but I really don't think its enough" instead of "you are a failure" which is more how it came out.  He is of the "burst your bubble" approach to bedside manner.

Sorry but I'm going to butt in here -  First off I don't think from what you said your DR is a jerk. He's not here to hold your hand and say "Good Job Sweetie, now can you please try to lose some more?" He's telling you like it is, he's not sugar coating it. He wants you to loose weight, and he's not going to take the chance of making extra work for himself, making it harder on you, or take the chance of you possible not waking up in the recovery room. My surgeon is very arrogant, but hey, if I'd performed WLS on over 1800 people and had a zero mortality rate, I might be too. Honestly I've never met a surgeon with an outstanding bedside manor, they are good at what they do and usually that's done when they don't have to talk to you. That's why they become Surgeons. I'm not saying all are snotty, arrogant jerks but then again a lot are. If your unhappy with your DR remember he works for you, either tell him what you think, or fire him, find someone else that suits your needs and wants better. Just remember he wants to see you succeed as much as you do. Sorry if you feel I'm being rough, this is just my honest opinion.

Jan - Thank you for your opinion, and you are probably right.  I don't think you are being rough at all, and I'm not looking for hand-holding from him, but I was proud of myself and it caught me off guard.  I know he wants the best outcome, I understand about the enlarged liver, etc.  I also haven't met too many surgeons with good bedside manners.  They don't really need manners for their job.  It was frustrating, because the dietician and nurses this morning all made it sound like we'd be scheduling surgery.  They were asking me about when I'd be back from my trip, and was I excited to be this close to surgery, etc. So I was really excited before I met with the doc. my hopes were too high I suppose.  

Your bariatric surgeon sounds just like Dr. Gloomy, the PS who did my Blobby-ectomy.  Some docs just aren't happy unless they are raining on patients' parades, it seems.   Kix

Jenn,  First off take a nice big deep cleansing breath. We all have rotten days like your having but dieting doesn't help matters does it? I know I got to be the size I was because my first response was to turn to food! You have to stay focused and remember everything your doing is for a better you. Your DR wants you to lose weight because it helps to make his job easier too. Fat people have bigger livers, and the stomach where their working lies underneath that liver, and it can make it hard for them to work around. I was told to up the water and protein and drop the carbs to help me loose weight.  Stick with high protein foods like jerky, Greek style nonfat yogurt, Edamame, and drink at least one glass of water every time you feel hungry. Did you know your body has the no different way of telling you it's hungry or thirsty?  You always need to drink first, then if you still feel hungry eat something. Hydration is very important, by the time your mouth gets dry, your already dehydrated, and that's not good at all. If your not a water drinker try the Crystal light to go packs, I love um, they come in all different flavors. Don't get discouraged, you CAN do this!  This is one of the toughest roads I've ever traveled but I'll tell you, I'd do it again in a heartbeat! Best wishes to you!

Thank you Jan.  I am usually good abou****er, I prefer water to most drinks.  I know I can do it, and this site helps me remember that when I feel weak - like today.  Thanks for the tips.

It seems to me that 800 calories is awfully low and might just be setting you up for failure.  Have you thought about trying to go between 800-1000 calories, making sure to take in at least 64 oz of water per day?  I'm thinking perhaps you aren't losing because your body is trying to keep itself from starving and is stubbornly holding on to the weight.  Are you getting enough water and making sure you are taking vitamin supplements? My HMO put me on a modified Optifast plan pre-op (approx 1100 calories per day) and the weight came off like crazy.  I lost 107 lbs in five months, 23 lbs in the first week alone.  Have you considered doing something like Optifast?  Of course, it is expensive and requires medical supervision -- do you think this is something your surgeon would support as a pre-op measure? With an 1100 calories Optifast plan, I ate every two hours and was never, ever hungry.  In fact, there were times I didn't want to eat, but had to!  As for car trouble, it blows.  It sounds like you need a new battery if it won't hold a charge. Do not quit!  You're just having a major Murphy day (Murphy's Law).  Tomorrow is another day, and will probably be a better one. Kix

Hi Kix,  He didn't mention the opti-fast diet or any other but he did tell me I could join the medically supervised diet part of the program where they give you some kind of shot for appetite suppression.  I didn't want to do that, for some reason.  I guess I am skeptical about it, and I just didn'f feel like talking to anyone about it at that moment.  I wanted out!  Maybe I'll look in to the shots, and I will look into the opti-fast diet and maybe talk to my family doctor about it, because he also felt like 800 calories was a little low.  I do take a vitamin faithfully, for several years, and most of the time get 64oz or more water per day - definitely if you count the liquid in the shakes.   I did at least get the dietician to finally approve non-fat cottage cheese in place of chicken or turkey at night.  I need a break from poultry, at least once a week.  I am afraid I will sprout feathers soon!  I was glad to see the scale move, but if you do the math, I understand that I should be losing faster than 4 lbs a week.  I was very faithful to the diet since my last weigh-in, and easily doubled my amount of exercise.   I am feeling better now, I think I just needed a good cry.   Thanks for your insight.   and yeah, I am guessing the battery is blown.  Its that, or I didn't give it enough time to re-charge.  I don't think its the alternator, because if your car is running and you unplug the battery the alternator keeps it running, unless the alternator is dead.  Mine kept running when the roadside assistance guy tried that.  What a pain, a two year old battery!  I am going to let my husband deal with it now, I wash my hands of the whole auto repair thing, unless I have no choice.  (Although sometimes I end up butting back in because he's doing it wrong! hehe)  All the best,  Jenn