Must exercise, but nervous around kids

Hey everyone... My name is Chris and I had my VSG a little over two months ago. I usually post over on their board, but decided to post my question here because maybe some of you can relate to what I'm going through. I guess I just need to vent. I've lost around 70 pounds so far. My BMI is still in the upper 60's range, and I know that will continue to drop. But it won't drop faster if I don't exercise. I'm still a big guy. My gut is huge and it's the first thing people look at before they look at my face. My hips are large too. It goes without saying that I can be very uncomfortable in social situations. I've tried to avoid them and really still don't go out at all unless I have too.  But I have to exercise to lose my weight and reshape my body. Walking out in a public street is out of the question. Actually, just walking outside is out of the question. I've been a member of a health club for several years, and a few days ago joined a sister club close by so I can use their large pool. But I'm very nervous about walking into these clubs because there are so many little kids around. They notice me and then decide to tell Mom or Dad, and everyone else around them about the big guy they've just spotted. I always have to carry a windbreaker around to shield myself from little eyes everywhere I go. And sometimes from adults too who can't help from making a comment or two. And now I will begin swimming which will invite more comments. I know kids are kids, but walking into a group of them is like walking into a den of wolves. And I know that as I lose weight and change my shape, the comments will stop. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can keep my focus and ignore this unwanted attention. I've had some bad experiences over the years, and the memories are keeping me from reaching my goals. Your suggestions and input are very welcome Thanks, Chris

Dear Chris, My BMI was in the mid 60s when I started.  I know me and I was not about to go exercise in public.  So I invested in a semi-recumbant stationary bike to use at home.  http://www.visionfitness.com/home/fitnessbikes/index.php  It cost me a good amount as I had to get a commercial grade bike to bear my weight, but it was worth it.  I was able to do as much or little as I needed and not worry about others.  It is also there on the days that the weather is bad.  And since I spent so much on it, I'm "guilted" into using it more.   Exercise is important, and even though there is some discomfort in exercising in public, I have worked my way down into it.  I was surprised at the difference in who swims laps and who does water aerobics.  The skinnies to the laps, for the most part, but those of us with a bit more size do the aerobics.  So part of the solution is to find the right exercise!   And as a funny story, a few years back I worked at a woman's plus size clothing store.  I woman and her small son come in and are looking around.  There are several women shopping, all of good size.  Suddenly, the boy says rather loudly, "look Mommy, a giant woman!"  Everyone stops dead in their tracks.  The mother has a look of panic/shame on her face.  But the little boy is pointing at the manniquin on a pedestal!  Everyone sighed, laughed, and went on shopping. Finding a way to exercise, a place to exercise, and the right exercise can be tough.  But at least you have the motivation to exercise! Keep up the good work, Sally

Hi, Chris: I know how you feel.  At my fattest, people used to stare at me like I was a zoo animal. I exercise at my local rec center.  There are people of all ages and abilities there, so I feel right at home.  The kids aren't allowed in the cardio area where the workout  machines are located, so it's nice to have an "adult only" area.    At our rec center, there's a running track that can also be used for walking, and a nice pool.  I haven't tried the pool yet, but that's because I haven't been cleared for swimming. due to some ongoing leg issues. I use supplemental oxygen and sometimes the smaller kids in the locker room will ask me what it's for (I wear a small Helios oxygen carrier).  As for the teens, they are too busy yakking with each other or on their cell phones to pay much attention to me.  I did have one instance where some teen boys walking into the rec center behind me made fun of how I walk, so I turned around and told them that at least I could walk now, when six months ago, I was in a wheelchair.  It shut 'em up real fast, let me tell you!  Is there a waterproof radio you could wear while swimming so you can tune out the insensitive clods?  If not, my best advice is just to ignore them and do what you need to do.  By staying away from exercise, you're letting them hurt you even further. Kix

Hi Chris, I can so relate.  My BMI was over 60 when I began,my WLS journey and when I joined the local YMCA to attend water aerobics classes.  For a LONG time I would not exercise in public because of the embarrassment factor, and that embarrassment kept me a prisoner longer than anything else!   At one point I just decided that I had to do it, and even if the kids stared or someone said something, I still needed to do it!  Once I walked out the locker room door and out to the pool, I felt all the eyes on me, I knew someone one would say something.  Know what?  The only thing that anyone said was HI, glad you are here.  The fear of the past keeps most of us trapped, and at least we can "show them" as we get smaller and smaller as we exercise.  Most of the women at the pool cannot figure out why I am getting smaller when they are also exercising.  My surgery is my secret tool, and I don't let most people know about it. You have already pushed through so much to get to this point, but I'm afraid that you will have to continue pushing forward, and getting past the memories and images in your mind.  Some of that will bring healing, and some will bring anger.  You will have to decide how to handle each of those emotions and keep your eye on the goal of what is ahead.  I'm sure you can do more now, and feel like you have more energy -- let that be part of your reward, and the reward of what you will be able to do once more of the excess weight is gone.   I will tell you that your first day will be the hardest, don't let the fear of that hold you back.  If you can take a friend or family member with you, then do that as well.  Each day after the first will be easier.  You will soon find that the BIG towel that you take with you to the pool more than wraps around you, and that showering in the locker room is not a big deal.  You can do it!  Look at how far you've come!  Keep pressing on! In Christ, Jennie

Thank You so much Jennie for you wonderful advice and wisdom. I know that it will be hard for a while but sometimes we just have to push through the hard times to reach the other side. I've just decided to press on and do what I have to do. Life is too short to worry about these kind of things. Thanks again - you had a great post and I appreciate you support Chris

Hi Chris, My bmi is right around 75. I can totally relate to your dilemma. And ya know, as if kids arent bad enough, but the adults can be real buttholes too.  It makes the whole outside world frightening. I dont leave my house unless I'm going to a doctors appt.  And I pray to God everytime that there won't be any kids there.  Now that summer is upon us, I know its gonna be even worst.  I guess I cant offer you any words of wisdom, cause I feel the same as you. But I will pray for you.  Please keep us updated!!!

Thank you all for your posts - I really appreciate it. I printed it all to put in my gym bag so I can refer to all the wonderful advice when things get hard. What a great board this is!! I know that I'm not alone anymore, and your strength will really carry me far. I'll keep stopping by and certainly will keep everyone updated! Thanks again Chris

Hi Chris, Welcome and congratulations on your recent surgery!   I am a little confused.  Is walking outside out of the question because of joint problems or other health concners or because of the kids?  If it is because of the kids and not because of health issues then go invest in a couple of Leslie Sansone's "Walking Away the Pounds" or "In home Walking" DVDs and maybe a couple of other weight training DVDs and a set of hand weights and exercise is the privacy of your own home away from gawking eyes.  That's what I did.  I started off with Leslie Sansone's half-mile in home walk (which is out-of-print now) and over the past two years, have worked my way up to doing her 5 mile walk.  In home walking tapes are great exercise and easy on the joints.  As you get into better shape, your confidence WILL increase and youwill want to try other things and eventually venture out into public for fitness.  Anyway, I can also relat to what you're saying.  My BMI was over 50 before I had surgery and going to a gym was something I would never consider.  I still won't consider it but now it's becasue I won't spend the $$$ in gym fees when I get as good a workout at home. Good Luck!

Hi Chris, I know all about people looking at the whole BELLY before the FACE thing.  I know how it makes me feel and I am sorry you go through it also.  I also know about how mean folks can be. I was walking out of Albertsons one day and a grown man 45-55yrs old started laughing at me he first looked at my APRON belly and then made eye contact and began to laugh.  I was so hurt but I have to tell myself all the time " not to feel sorry for myself but to feel sorry for the person that needs to belittle me to feel better about themselves. "  I went to the local YMCA for water arobics and the class was mostly Older women and a few men who were also overweight and I was a little uncomfortable but once I was in the water I was OK. I showed up early and left late. Trying for as few folks to see me as possible. I would suggest if you can afford a gym membership can you get a treadmill and maybe some free weights and just do your excercise at home until you lose more weight?  Then just go to the gym for the swimming ( see if there is a class for water aerobics) . That is what I would do just because I would want to avoid any confrontations with stupid people. There is always going to be that one jackass no matter where you go. I have learned this unfortunately. I hope you figure out something that works for you and Best Wishes, }Dedee