Is anyone else not telling their extended family about your surgery plans?

I have a highly opinionated family, and not having all of the facts has never stopped them for voicing their opinions, whether positive or negative.  Because I don't want to hear it, I've decided not to tell most of them.  Only my husband, his sister, and my niece know.  I'm wondering if I'll be able to get away with never bringing it up as I'm loosing weight, or if (as my husband thinks) it will be really obvious come Thanksgiving when I'm not able to eat as much as I used to.  My surgery date will be 9/16/2013.  Thanksgiving will be the first time post surgery that my parents and siblings will see me.

Hi Wendy.  That's a million dollar question......and one that you'll have to make the call on.  It's sounds like you're making a good decision.  However....do know that your hubby is onto something.  If you work your tool and eat, drink and exercise as instructed, you best believe the questions and comments will be coming your way!  You will probably have a noticeable weight loss by Turkey Day.  So have your script rehearsed regarding what you want them to know and how much.  You're going to hear it!!  But at least the procedure will be behind you and they won't have any say in that.

 

Best wishes!

 

Keep it moving!!

 

JJ

I'm not telling mine either,  I've told one of my brothers and mentioned the thought to another one but i'm keeping this to myself.  Close friends know too, 

My mother lives with me and she hasn't been told. I plan to let her know once I have a surgery date. May a couple days before :-) My family prevented me from doing this 4 years ago and I will not have that happen again.

I didn't tell some of my siblings or my husbands siblings. My family is very opinionated as is his. Its no one's business. Feel comfortable telling who you'd like to know. I believe its a need to know basis and some of the family just don't need to know. I've prepared my speech when folks ask how am I losing weight. I just plan on telling them that I've been watching what I eat, weighing portions, and ramped up exercise. In essence, that is what I'm doing just with a oittle help. Hope it goes well for you.

@Therealme77, I find this sad that you do not want to share your experience.  If people are opinionated that is their problem not yours.  Every journey big, small, bad or good should be embraced by you because it's helping build you.

Me, I am screaming it to the rooftop that I had the surgery because it may help someone else.  Someone else's bad behavior or unwillingness to support shouldn't weigh any burden on you!

If this is what you need for you... then everyone should be happy... if they are not happy then they are not for you!  You want to live a long life and celebrate life without the stress and worry of becoming sick.  Everyday is God's blessing and we should celebrate it as such. 

Good Luck!

Yes, I've already made a decision not to share my decision to have WLS with many people, my mother being at the top of the list.  She has never stuggled with her weight and when I mentioned the possibility of WLS a few years ago, I got the usual speech, eat less, exercise more, etc.  I know now that I have a metabolic issue, and will be on a medication for the next 5 years that makes weight loss a struggle.  When I have my surgery it's going to be presented as a follow-up to deal with another health issue...which is true...obesity can potentially cause a recurrence in breast cancer, so I need to lose the weight.

 

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I don't have a fancy/catchy signature yet....on the way

I have only told close family members as of now and honestly haven't decided how to tell people after the surgery, I do know a couple people I think may be judgmental.

That's exactly the reason I'm not sharing it with anyone that I know will not be supportive of the surgery. It's not anything I'm going to allow anyone to stand between my getting healthy.   People don't understand that obesity isn't about gluttony, and it is a disease. Any diseases that have the potential to kill you are dealt with using appropriate medical procedures, this is the same.

 

 

I learned a long time ago that some people have such strong opinions that they just can't refrain from piping in. I can tell you this, there are few people and certainly no one in my circle of friends and family who have researched WLS as much as I have over a minimum of ten years.

I also know whom I can confide in and in whom I won't. At least until later, once it's done. Hurt their feelings? They might feel left out? Well, not one of them see if from my point of view as being the only morbidly obese family member and they hurt MY feelings when they try to talk me out of what I have decided. 

Good heavens, I know the risks! I also see incredible results in this community! I am 51 and of reasonably decent intelligence and am able to make decisions based upon research. 

So...no way will I tell some of the people.....nope~! I have told my daughter, my husband (naturally) and I talked to my sister who is a doctor. A couple close friends know but I know whom to tell so I don't get all the push-back.

Yeah, life is good and you can't UNtell someone something.  Follow your heart