Changes in Relationships Post-Op

Have any of your personal relationships (with spouses/boyfriend/girlfriend) change as you started to lose weight? If so, how?

Hey how are you? This is a really good topic!! I've heard about the horror stories of people marriages, and relationships going sour after wls, and I was a little worried about my 13yr marriage, but to my suprise my marriage with my hubby has gotten a whole lot better!! We were already the best of friends, and lovers, but now since I am 90lbs lighter, I am all over him, and he just can not keep his hands off of me!! Sorry if I am being to graphic, but after losing this weight the sex feels 10 times better. My hubby had alot of fears of me having surgery, of course the fear of me getting sick, or even worse dying, but 1 of his biggest fears was me losing all of this weight and leaving him! So I had to make sure he was very secure, I kept him involved with my journey, and after surgery, now that weight has started falling off, I just make him go everywhere with me and we do alot of social events together! He loves it when we go places or when I come to his job, and he shows me off to his friends!! I love to watch the other men look at me, and my hubby knows they are watching, and he is so proud, and he feels like he is the man!! lol! So for me this wls was the best thing for my marriage! Good luck!!

Donna,
It is reassuring that relationships do not have to change. But I guess it has to start on a good foundation before the surgery. I'm starting to see some changes in mine. The signs were already there, but they are more apparent now.

 I have been single for a long time, but my relationship with my friend-girl changed.  She has never had a weight issue, but she worked out all the time.  I worked out (not as often as she did) but I struggled with my weight for years.  After surgery, she would make little snide remarks.  She always presented them as jokes, but once or twice I could overlook.  All the time, I had to believe there was something behind the bites.

Also, I had to take an honest look as to why we were friends in the first place.  I will admit that I was in the friendship for mostly the wrong reasons.  Since moving back to my hometown, I had no one else to hang out with.  And because of my insecurities with my weight, I wasn't venturing out to meet other people.

One of the great things about this journey is all of the reflection I have had to do about me.  Why do I eat so much?  Why do I bottle my feelings?  Why don't I have any friends besides this girl? So, when the veiled insults started, it was clear what I had to do for me.

I don't know what the situation is with your relationship.  I hope that you are able to work it out.

Thanks for the responses. My concerns is that I stayed in the relationship because it was "safe." We were used to each other. However, after all of this time, I am convinced that the only thing that we've done is make each other miserable. And I'm sure I hid behind the food..Whenever we would argue, I would eat..Now that I've had the surgery, I'm using other means to cope instead of food.  On one side I am being reborn with my new lease on life...on the other side, I feel like I'm mourning a dead relationship.

Hey girl don't get it twisted me and my hubby has had major issues in our relationship in the past, but we got threw it! I believe what kept us together was our friendship, and our partnership. Regardless of what we have went threw we have always had each other back, so I think that is what keeps us grounded!! So this journey that I am on is just another obstacle that we are going threw, and he has my back!! I also know that nobody will love me and have my back like my husband would, even though he has messed up in the past. I really wish you luck, and you have to do what is best for you, because you definitely do not want to put your self back where you was at...as far as eating and using food as a coping mechanisim! Hnag in there my sistah, this journey will open your eyes to things that you never knew about your self and the people around you!!

my husband was a lil insecure even when we married...as I gained weight over last 10 years, he knows men have never not been attracted to me...
I worry a little that he will grow even more insecure...
I aint going nowhere...I dont want anyone else...Im just trying to get my sexy back physically