How do I handle my 11 year olds weight gain??

(deactivated member)
on 3/29/12 8:54 pm
 Family I need your help was thinking of going to see a nutritionist my baby girl is gaining so much weight every time me an my husband mention it she cries buckets it hurts so bad cause I know how it is to be the Fat girl an I told her one day it's gonna really hurt the day someone calls her Fat not in those words but didn't wanna make her cry I said kids are cruel an one day somebody is gonna call I chunky , she just turned 11 march 8 th my only baby no activity at all she plays no sports all her little girlfriends are in basketball volleyball or swim run or dance Jadas not interested we tried it all we had a Y membership but I got tired of giving them my 50 bucks a month so I cancelled it thinking ok nice weather is coming we can get outside she will ride her bike to the park to met a few friends but the park is like 5 small blocks from me so that's nothing major she weighs 152 now that fan is just too much I took her to her pediatric dr he's talking to he Shea crying but like I posted awhile back he's big as ever he gained major weight and here he is tryin to give my 10 yr old at the time eating advice hmm just didn't look right an Jada said when we got home mom he is chunk so he got a lot of room to talk I Know IT'S MY FAULT we snack eat fast food etc too much after surgery it was great I never purchased timings like junk or sweets often an I really watched what I consumed now as I'm gaining :( an just not observing she's on a bad path I gotta get a grip before its too late I know she has te fat gene or I wouldn't have had surgery i said I was just gonna  STOP keeping junk in my house an limit our to eating because I really need to get a handle on this 
(deactivated member)
on 3/29/12 8:57 pm
My iPhone has my post crazy sorry but u all know what I'm saying one last thing I NEVER REALLY REALIZED HOW MUCH SHE eats till after I had surgery which she doesn't know I even had the amounts of foo she eats is too much but am I wrong to say no more or how??? 
Thicklin
on 3/29/12 9:58 pm - TN
VSG on 04/23/12
I have a overweight daughter myself and I see me all in her. She my heart. The Dr also recommended a Nut for her but as a mother I'm teaching her the proper why to eat and exerise. I don't give her a option to workout and we walk together. She lost 20 pounds on her own and we now celebrate by shopping for new clothes for her new body. I don't even have to tell her she's already on it.

It was a struggle the first month or two to get it down pack she wasn't use to her new muscles lol she always say her legs hurt. But all in all I want to be my kids role model.
(deactivated member)
on 3/29/12 10:43 pm
20 pounds wow u gotta email me ([email protected]) I really need to know how to handle this cause she cries all the time saying " u always call me fat" I'm not I just care how can I do this without the years but 20 pounds that's awesome word of advance once u have surgery keep her motivated as I shoulda done I think too she drinks way too much just I on the other hand don't touch it after surgery I realized how much she really eats 3 slices of pizza way 2 much way 2 much send me some tips an pointers please thanks for the reply 
MSW will not settle
on 3/30/12 2:23 am, edited 3/30/12 2:26 am
If I knew then what I know now.  I'll tell you that a nutritionist alone will not be of any real help much of the time.  We all know what and how to eat.  That information is everywhere. 

Nutritionist are great for the person with a few extra pounds that needs to tweak their diet and make a few better habits.  Obesity is different.  We are different.  It is more than overeating.  

I myself dealt with this issue badly.  I used nutritionists and a childhood obesity program at one of the best hospitals in the world.  Each failed to address the root causes of her disordered eating patterns.  The medical community is only beginning to wake up to eating disorders of the obese. 

Now she is four years out from restrictive only wls (vbg) tomorrow.  My DD still remains eligible for wls today.  She has lost a significant amount of weight and is still loosing; however, wl is insufficient given the time that has passed. 
It is like a very slow crawl as though she is avoiding success. 

I can go on further but she is also on oh so I will not publicly air our story.  Send me a pm if you'd like and we can talk in detail. 

Together we made a major breakthrough this week in understanding each others eating disorders and therefore our own.  I'm not sure how I would have dealt with this fifteen years ago, but it may help you with your children today. 

I'm praying that this realization gets her wl moving at a faster pace.  I just want her at a normal bmi and out of danger for the plethora of familial co morbidities she may have inherited from family members all of normal weight.  We are people obese since youth in our families.  

Please do not hesitate to pm me about this.  I would not want to see another child grow up to become morbidly obese.  I hope this can be avoided. 

One thing we all know is telling a fat kid they are fat is not productive.  It may do them more harm than good.  Thankfully, my DD has always accepted morbid obesity as simply another characteristic of herself and not her identity.  She has never let it get in the way socially or professionally.  Not as a child or an adult.  This is truly a blessing. 

                   MSW   Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass: Eat sensibly & enjoy moderation  

 Links:  Are you a compulsive eater?  for help OA meets on-line Keep Coming Back, One Day At a Time  Overeaters Anonymous 

               LV'N MY RNY.  WORKING FOR ME BECAUSE I WORK FOR IT. 

(deactivated member)
on 3/30/12 10:34 am
I do feel the mentioning of her being fat is bad thats why I use chunky if I comment on her weight which is very rare but its killing me buying her new clothes all the time because she cant fit them but Im a true believer out of sight out of mind if I dont buy junk she cant run to the store an get it so thats my first step but I really dont buy alot of junk an she doesnt eat alot of sweets but i gotta do something thank you for all your advice it means so much
W95831
on 3/30/12 2:40 am - CA
I agree that telling her that she's fat is not going to help.  In fact, it'll probably be extremely counterproductive.

Were I in your shoes, I'd stop bringing it up in such a direct way for a while.  Gradually clear the house of junk foods, processed foods, etc.  As foods are eaten, instead of buying another box of Cap'n Crunch, swap out to something healthier.  Do this with all of the 'bad' foods in the house.  If there's no junk in the house to eat, she'll have to choose healthier options.
Obviously she'll be able to get junk food other places, but it'll have to start at home. 

Also, maybe you can speak with her about helping YOU (and helping herself at the same time).  Tell her you're worried you wont be able to stay on track with your plan and could use a partner to keep yourself honest.  Plan shopping days as a reward for your new figures.  Play to her likes while getting her on board voluntarily.
Getting back on track 10yrs later after a REGAIN of approx 35lbs
Surgery weight:  277lbs             Goal/maintenance weight: 135lbs
 
OntrackAgain
on 3/30/12 9:45 am - Ashburn, VA
RNY on 03/06/12
 Can you start by eliminating sweets and fatty  foods from your grocery list.  Try to purchase fruits and healthy snacks.  Sugar free popcicicles are a treat and she may not even realize they are sugar free.  Also, since she has no interest in sports how about getting her some roller blades (if you skate that could be a fun mother daught activity).  The WIIgames are also a fun form of family activity.  The key is to get her up and moving.
    
To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Required!                
(deactivated member)
on 3/30/12 10:30 am
skating she did use to go every friday that stopped i just hate it she has friends it just seems like she'd rather be stuck under me I guess like my brother says she has that only child thing going on but I do so feel the roller blades thank you and I am gonna stop buying junk the one thing that saves me and I THANK GOD for is she has braces an she never really got a fix on candy an sweets but juice is what is bad but I said dear lord I gotta get this under control I have to Thank you for you words an advice so much!
MSW will not settle
on 3/30/12 1:44 pm, edited 3/30/12 1:45 pm
Replace the juice with light or no cal varieties.  She'll get used t it of you buy nothing else.  V8 splash has a diet version at about 10 cal per glass.  Same for ocean spray.  Walmart has its s drink mix in both apple and orange that come close to juice in flavor. 

The toughest part is what kids get away from home.  DD was fine at home but she had snacking budies in the after school program. 

All kids want some treats but we can go for lower cal/ lower sugar etc.  Lays & ruffles light chips have half the calories of reguar potato chips.  Same for doritos light and pringles light.  A sugar free angel food cake has less than four hundred calories in the entire cake.  Serve it with sf preserves or chocolate syrup at around 10 cal per tbsp. 

Then there are lite frozen treats like arctic zero, 150 cal per pint.  Klondike makes 100 cal ice cream sandwhiches and bars plus skinny cow has a variety of items.  

Along with the fruit and sf ice pops etc there are a lot of options.  Many kids reject "diet" treats.  However, there is alot out there that does not appear or taste like a lower cal product.

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