I'm Engaged Ya'll

(deactivated member)
on 1/3/12 5:23 am, edited 1/10/12 7:10 pm - Fair Play, CA
Hello BAF,

Happy New Year!!! I won't make this long. If you know me, that's a huge feat in itself. I just wanted to share some good news. Typically, I am on here crying my eyes out this time of year but GOD is so Good and has been blessing me in so many ways. The Holiday came and went with thoughts of my sister but the work I am doing in her name....makes my pain much more bearable. I miss her dearly and always will.

Most of you know that about this time last year, I met a wonderful man. I will say that we have peace, total acceptance, understanding, no secrets, (were bared it all...I mean it all), love and good communication in our relationship. There were hurdles but good healthy communication got us over them. There has been no dirty fighting (loud voices, name calling...when there could have been) Hes a very peaceful man. Don't care for drama. I don't either but realize that I can bring it when the right buttons are pushed. Nothing good can ever come out of dirty fighting. You can never take the words back. I learned this the last time. Best to walk away if you are that angry. That goes for both parties. Ladies, we need to let them walk away too so they can calm their nerves. Pushing the conversation only adds fuel to the fire. It does not need to always happen at that particular moment. I am no relationship expert...only sharing from my personal experience and the common sense I have found.


(Pic will self-distruct)

I think what makes the different for now than in my first marriage is that I am getting married for all the right reasons. There is no drama and has not been any emotional roller coasters. We both try to build each other up rather than the opposite due to any insecurities that might exist. Yes, I was very insecure at one time...not so long ago as a matter of fact. A life changing event, made me see things so much clearer. I am making this decision with a sound and sane mind. He supported me (has a good ear and shoulder) when I needed it most yet there were no strings attached to his support. Often times, people get married for the wrong reasons (fear being #1) or don't allow themselves enough time to get to know the person. I did both these things with my first marriage. We were miserable.

Those that know what I mean when I use the term "soulmate"...will know what that feeling is like. I found mine. The man knows what I am thinking before I utter a word and vice versa. We say the exact same things at the oddest of times....its hilarious!!! We have common goals and interests. Yet we are different enough to keep it interesting. Hes my best friend. Not to mention we both are compatible in other ways. In my hay day, I would have went through the juicy details right here on BAF but I won't. Today, I have boundaries. Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse have very broad boundaries. As kids, nothing was sacred when we were abused so we take that with us into adulthood. Always being an open book is not necessarily a good thing. Recognizing why we do what we do is (ie. telling everyone your very personal business) is half the battle. If there are other survivors out there and you have not addressed the issue in any real way, please go to this website as a start.

www.rainn.org/get-information/effects-of-sexual-assault/adul t-survivors-of-childhood-sexual-abuse

For now, I only want to share enough that might help someone. Boundaries are a good thing. Both our families are in our corners too but they are hands off. Which is how it should be, Its a great balance.

With God as our foundation, day by day we will one in marriage. Our day is set in November. He loves my girls as his own and his family has embraced us all. The girls accept him and enjoy the times we share. He relates well with them.

Now...on to losing this gain and then some so that I will look like the picture I sent them for my profile.... I definitely plan to be more active on the board in the New Year.

For those of you who are rolling your eyes at my brevity. THIS IS MY BRIEF!!!...ask somebody , I wish you all much happiness, peace and joy in this upcoming year!

2fun 2quit
on 1/3/12 6:51 am - Saint Paul, MN
CONGRATULATIONS to you both
(deactivated member)
on 1/3/12 10:54 pm - Fair Play, CA
Thank you so much. I appreciate it!!!
LEE
on 1/3/12 10:58 am
Dam girl you still got big ass mouth fingers.  LOL.  But I did enjoy reading about your happiness so it is ok.  I am so happy to read of your happiness and you look really happy in the picture.  You keep getting out there speaking on behalf of those missing ones, they need voices like yours and it is great that you keep going.

Congrats on the engagement, I hope you are and stay very happy.
Salty Pickle a.k.a.  Lee
(deactivated member)
on 1/3/12 11:01 pm - Fair Play, CA
Thanks Lee,

You know...I ike to dribble on and on....lmao. Where in the heyl did you find that pickle avi...LOL! It was nice when we could be ourselves on here.  I will be hanging out more for sure. Might need your advice on honeymoon spots since you are a world traveler. Thanks again.

mel1964
on 1/4/12 4:30 am
congradulations, send some good man vibes my way!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
(deactivated member)
on 1/4/12 10:55 pm - Fair Play, CA
 Thanks so much Mel....sending good vibes your way ~~~~~~~~
Lifebeauty
on 1/4/12 9:02 am
Congrats.  You both look very happy.  With God as the three fold cord in your marriage, success is a guarantee.  Take care, Z

 With  I will succeed.
HW: 280 - LW: 190 - GW - 180  
Unfilled 8/15/11 - WT:  209
1st Fill 11/29/11 - WT: 215.5 - 3cc
2/20/12 - New Goal - Get n Onederland
2nd Fill 4/26/12 - WT: 224.0 - 3cc
Z

(deactivated member)
on 1/4/12 10:56 pm - Fair Play, CA
 Thank you Life Beauty....I believe with my heart everything you wrote. 
Phyll H
on 1/4/12 9:27 am - Dayton, OH
VSG on 08/04/08 with
congrats sweetie.   please post on FB BAF.
VSG  8-4-08  -5'5
HW   310
SW   216
CW   172
LW    160
GW   170  
GW    170- 175

Join US On The VSG Maintenance Group Forum!! 
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion


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