MsLEE WHERE R U ???

Come back MsLee!  Miss you...  Need you...    

I'm going off the deep end...     

I'M HERE......I'M HERE


I am sorry I got busy with projects being due.   I had a desk full of papers I had to get through. 

I have good news I started another round of P90X.  Today is day 2,  I miss my muscles.   I was looking through some pics from the summer and although I gained some weight I still have some nice arms.  I lost most of my definition, but that comes back really fast.

Time to show off.




See how i'm not flexing on this picture but you can still tell that I have some definition left.




Still have bulk, but it needs to be defined ike it once was.

MsLee          You're back!  Oh, how I've misses you.  (Spoken in an over the top tone of melodrama with deep sobs included.  )

I am feeling so fat and sloppy.  When I wrote this:
-  I was considering living on for scoops of protein a day until Thanksgiving. 
-  I was itching to research pro anorexia tactics.  
-  I was planning to cardio until my muscles gave out each morning and again in the evening. 
-  I was going to exclusively eat unlimited lettuce and cabbage with no cal dressing until I dropped at least ten pounds. 
- I was going to reduce water retention by restricting water. 

Oh God how I hate being so fat.  This never ending quest to get back to my low has increased my normal level of crazy to certifiable.  My brain will not settle down until I stay under 140 lbs.

Now the worst.  According to the Dept of Defense I am 25% fat.  The YMCA is more forgiving with a calculation of 22% fat.      My personal goal is body fat of 18% or less.  I need to loose the same damned 14 lbs I've been fighting since July 2010 to reclaim my 17% DoD calculation. 

We all know starvation is never impossible so there is a way to loose this fat.  Right now I'm paying calories forward planning for Thanksgiving.  I'm going to try EFS again after Thanksgiving.  Till then I will probably go ketogenic. 

Big sigh.  I am so depressed.  Its back to research, and more research, and more research.  Gotta make this happen.  

 

Settle down, you are sounding like a crazy lady. Oh wait you are crazy. Lol. Guess that is why we get along so well.

My dumb ass weight went up 14, yep 14 pounds last week, I wanted to shoot my fat ass off, it has come back down, but I hate weight spikes.

I am off of EFS until the 15 th, and then I am back in the saddle. I have been working out 2 1/2 hour a day because I am so afraid my body has turned to jelly. But I am going back to one hour once I start EFS again..

I am here, calm down my dear Marcia, you are not alone in your insanity.

My Shero, nobody understands my unique brand of insanity the way you do!    

I thought about hitting EFS now but with less than three weeks to Thanksgiving and my three day failure rate I did not think it was a good idea.   I'm back on the bodybuilding sites for fat loss/ muscle preservation tips.   This has been the best approach to weight loss for me but I hate the taste of many fats in their ketogenic approach.  

I must admit when I'm in an up cycle it has always worked.  Me and the taste buds need to bite the bullet and alternate ketogenic and atkins every few weeks to get me back to less than 18% body fat. 

I'm back on insanity (my way, lol) in a few  weeks.  This will suck @$$ royally with all those planks I do half assed.  Now that this neuralgia is less severe I can try and do push ups (poorly!) again. 

I'm still crazy but comming down from my total psychotic break.  Thanks for talking me off the ledge. 

 I am working out but lord know I am eating like a fat girl at a carnival.  I kind of want to start EFS today but like you said with turkey day coming, but then I think, yeah but that could be a few pounds lost by then, but then I think damit that could be more candy,    Oh you know what I mean.


You say you workout half ass.  That I can never understand, if I am going to get up and get dressed, I am going to put forth all my effort, even though I **** it all up by eating junk food.  

I'm not Lee but I understand the psyche of a wls patient and the perils of gaining weight. My scale needs batteries so I don't know my weight this week but I know my thighs are bigger. This is so frustrating and  we may not be the same but we can certainly understand each other's pain. Love ya.

I know you understand.  You probably get my brand of crazy better than I do.   We need a support group for body dysmorphia.