STATUS UPDATE - PAGE 1
Social network status can be the online "destination" so to speak as opposed to the party's web page. Lines like the following draw their own attention: The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
Hey, that's me! Today I desparately needed a deep belly, milk through the nose, sorry broke wind, oops I peed a little kind of laugh. By chance I came accross a site devoted to social network status updates. This is hilarious in itself. Someone's got time on their hands.
This one describes me and the cognitive dysfunction that comes with ms perfectly. I'm genuinely certifiable! Four times certified by licensed neuropsychologists as not psychotic -but then as you may have noted there are the other issues...
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once. (Uhmm... deja vu or did I already say that? Hmmn)
http://funnystatus.com/statuses/
Alright, I'll accept your friend request. But, one stupid status and you're UNFRIENDED!
Protect her, fight for her, kiss her, love her, hold her, laugh with her. BUT don't make her fall if you don't plan to catch her.
That awkward moment when you're supposed to be cleaning your room and you put on music and it turns into a dance party for one.
Meeting men at bars is like window shopping. You're looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.
I think you should have to pass a test to vote. Not even a complicated one, just be able to name the current president, the previous president and I dunno, the capital of your state. This would rule out at least 30% of the voters. At least.
Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I'm going home
If you want a man's heart, go through his stomach. If you want his money, go through his pockets.
Procrastinators of the world, UNITE!! Tomorrow.
Liking someones Facebook status simply because you want them.
There really needs to be a 25second UNDO on Text Messages.
For guys, it doesn't matter whether we win or lose. We're going to lie about it anyway.
It appears someone invited a lot of old people to my high school reunion.
If you're single, focus on being a better you instead of looking for someone better than your ex. A better you will attract a better next.
The past is a good place to visit, but definitely not a good place to stay.
That awkward moment when you catch someone picking their nose..
A good relationship is with someone who knows all your insecurities, and imperfections and still loves you the same.
Damn.
Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
Me, behave? Seriously? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. The fault is not mine! If you had this childhood and loved it, repost :)
MSW Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass: Eat sensibly & enjoy moderation
Links: Are you a compulsive eater? for help OA meets on-line Keep Coming Back, One Day At a Time Overeaters Anonymous
L
V'N MY RNY. WORKING FOR ME BECAUSE I WORK FOR IT.
Nice to see you MsPhyll! 
