Naughty, Naughty... Don't look.

Three guys die and go to hell.

When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises.

"Oh, how are you going to do it", asks one of the guys.

"Whatever your fathers jobs were, that's how I'll remove them" says the devil.

So he calls over the first guy "Your father was a lumberjack... So I'll cut it off with a saw"

To the second guy he says "Your father was a blacksmith... So I'm going to burn it off"

As he calls the third guy over he notices he's smiling.

"Why are you smiling, you jus****ched me remove your friends penises" says the devil.

"I know" replies the man "but my father was a popsicle maker" 




http://www.thejokeyard.com/naughty_jokes/dirty_red_riding_hood.html

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"




http://www.thejokeyard.com/naughty_jokes/measure_of_manliness.html

3 guys get pulled over by a woman cop.

They tried to get out of the speeding ticket, so the woman said if all ur dicks equal up to 15 inches ill let you off.

The driver pulls out his dick which is 7 inches.

The guy in the front of the passenger seat pulls his out which is 6 inches.

The last guy in the back pulls his out and it's 2 inches.

So they get out of the ticket.

After a while they hear the guy laughing hysterically in the back.

The driver asks, "What's wrong why are you laughing?" the guy in back says good thing I was popping a boner.