Need advice: Online dating

SleeveDivaNoire '11
on 6/22/11 11:22 am
I met a seemingly decent guy on BlackPeopleMeet.com.   That's the problem.  You see, I haven't dated in 4-5 years, and this is my first time ever on a dating website.

I want any helpful suggestions you may have about anything relevant.  I am excited to have met someone, yet skeptical and afraid.  If he is okay, I don't want to ruin it because of my own insecurities.  But I don't want to be too naive about it and cause myself problems.

Can anyone help?

Khem
AKA NotBaby_Fat
Ht 5'6"/HBMI: 50.8 /CBMI: 37.1
HW 315/SW 299.9/CW 230/GW 160
              
hershey dream
on 6/22/11 1:39 pm - Duluth, GA
 Online dating is just a different avenue of meeting someone, eventually you meet face to face and normal dating takes place.

Just be yourself and have fun.  Don't put too much pressure on yourself to meet "Mr. Right."
Life is not about making it through the storm....but learning how to dance in the rain.      
Lifebeauty
on 6/22/11 11:14 pm

My son ended up in the hospital after the meet and greet of his on line date.  Be careful.  If he is ok you won't ruin it because of your insecurities.  You would rather be safe than sorry.  Take care.
Z

 With  I will succeed.
HW: 280 - LW: 190 - GW - 180  
Unfilled 8/15/11 - WT:  209
1st Fill 11/29/11 - WT: 215.5 - 3cc
2/20/12 - New Goal - Get n Onederland
2nd Fill 4/26/12 - WT: 224.0 - 3cc
Z

MSW will not settle
on 6/23/11 5:35 am
Check out the singles board.  I have not been able to get into the online thing but they are all over it.  Good luck. 

                   MSW   Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass: Eat sensibly & enjoy moderation  

 Links:  Are you a compulsive eater?  for help OA meets on-line Keep Coming Back, One Day At a Time  Overeaters Anonymous 

               LV'N MY RNY.  WORKING FOR ME BECAUSE I WORK FOR IT. 

dstgirl2000
on 6/23/11 11:06 pm
HI SDN....Online dating can open opportunities to meet and experience men that you otherwise may not be exposed to.  I've utilized online dating, and met some really great friends.  It's not as taboo as it used to be, and seems to be be the preferred vehicle for meeting and dating these days.  You just have to be smart about it.  It takes good listening skills, a great deal of filtering to get to the truly worthy ones. People will always tell the truth about themselves in the first 30 minutes of a conversation.  Listen to them, and believe it!  If the conversation is all about sex, money, baby mama drama or other negative subjects, then that's probably what's in his head and what will be the core of your interaction with him.  If it's about meeting a quality companion, how he values family and friends, the value of a good education, and other positive topics, then this is what is important to him in his life.

Be careful sharing too much personal information, and always meet him in a very public place that you are familiar with.  When you agree to meet, always, let someone know who you're meeting (name and online contact info) and where.  Watch your drink at all time.

Just some tips I learned.  Have fun!

J
                        
SleeveDivaNoire '11
on 6/23/11 11:36 pm
Well, could this be a red flag?  He deleted his profile after we talked; and he is a bit irritated that I haven't.  He is divorced for 4 years now after a 15 year marriage.  He said that he and his first wife were married after 3 months.  I told him it's gonna ake a lot more time than that to get to know him.  He is Portuguese-Italian and a bit assertive.  Not necessarily a bad thing, but IDK. 

Are there major cultural differences that could cause conflicts?  Or are men just men?
AKA NotBaby_Fat
Ht 5'6"/HBMI: 50.8 /CBMI: 37.1
HW 315/SW 299.9/CW 230/GW 160
              
dstgirl2000
on 6/24/11 12:56 am
He deleted his profile?  Did he consider that a gesture to you that he is making some type of commitment to you, and you should end your online search and focus on him only as well?  After such a short period of time, that does seem a little suspect and control like.  Especially considering how quickly he married his ex too.  Cultural differences can make for a area of contention for couples.  It may serve you well to take it slowly, and get to know personalities and understand them.  Don't be rushed by anyone!  There are thousands of men on these sites, and if the actions of one raises your red flags!  Take note, it's probably for a really good reason.

J
                        
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