The fat lady will not go away

I am still fat because I still think and eat like a fat person.  My food addiction has seem to have gotten worse since over the last year.  I went to therapy, deprived myself, went on diets, had wls, and I am still overweight/obese.  I am so disappointed in myself today because I sat and thought about my behavior I am stabotashing myself to be right back where I started if I do not get it together.  I have to find some balance somewhere what happen to my determination not to be fat I lost is somewhere along the line ,but I never been comfortable with me so how did this happen?

Spring is upon us  and its taking some of us down.  When I see you, and your posts, and your pics I am inspired.  I think about folks like you and a few others who have been at this for so long.  You have periods of frustration but in the end you always get back on it. 

You and your way of life reassure me.  How you can recognize your own dysfunctional food issues without letting them consume you push me to face my own.  The way you can rant and get it out of your system then return to attending to your personal needs reminds me that giving up is not an option.  The time you've been at this, your starting point, how far you've come remind me that the time I've put in is but a fraction even if equally frustrating. 

MsShapelyLicia (spelling may be off but I remember that name because it is so perfect a description), you are a reminder to me that although not where I want or need to be I am getting better.  You are like a mirror held up to myself.  When I look at you, I like what I see and I can see possibilities for myself.  Oftentimes when I begin my thread with talk of long term perserverance, it is you and a few like you I am thinking of. 

We are those who have the harder journeys in some sense or another.  Different but still extremely painful for each us.  Its longer, its harder, and it feels so unfair.  However, in the end we wil be so greatly appreciative.  We will arrive at our own personal "there" no matter what it takes. 

I can't say we will ever be fully comfortable but I know we will both find some level of balance.  In the time I've been reading BAF you always do.  And, in seeing how you do I am still learning that I can come back to balance and determination as well. 

I thank you.  And, I love you.  And, I know the day is comming where you will feel whole again.  Stay strong. 

Thank you, Thank you , Thank you my husband just said you need to remember a size 14 is alot better than a size 28/30.  Keep working it you will get and stay where you want to be just put in the work for your self. I have to remember food is for fuel not a hobby or way of life for me. I very disappointed in my relationship with food because I though I really had it together there for a minute.

Each time I think I have it together I give my dysfunctional eating a chance to sneak back into the forefront.  I will never have it together with food.  I have come to accept this about myself. 

The best I can do is manage my behaviors and create alternatives when I feel myself headed towards the deep end.  Its disapointing but a bit of progress here and there plus some days just getting by minute by minute plus other days letting the error pass and moving on...  We will be the best we can be over time. 

Go back to the basics. You have made wonderful accomplishments so don't doubt what you have done. Good luck.