139 Days left, So where is my head at?? And where is my big ass at??

Ok yall,  I am so nerveous about my count down,  I don't know why but 130 scares the crap out of me.   It just feels like oh **** where has the time gone.

I have done well, really well so I don't know where this fear is coming from.  I guess I'm afraid I will mess up.  I will try my best not to. Now it feels like I have lost some weight I will start ******g up like every single time before,  I really have to push past this in order to get to the next level.

I am going to work on my thinking and make sure my head stays on straight.

Please lord help me get over this hump, I want this so bad.

139 days

Hi Lee,

In reading your post, it occurs to me to ask you if your are harboring a deep-seated fear of success, rather than of failure, especially now that there is a date/timeline attached?

Just something for you to contemplate.  I ask the same of myself.

~Lynn

Hey Lynn

I have actually thought of that many times and I look in the mirror and ask myself what the hell i'm afraid of and I honestly don't know.  I mean I really want to get this weight off of me because it embarrasses the **** out of me but I don't know what is truly going on in my head.

I am trying to remain positive and I just feel like i'm going to lose it,  lord knows I don't want to lose it because I know if I give up i'm not going to go to this reunion. 

I am not just talking out of my ass when I say these 130's are making me a nerveous wreck, they really are.   I want to get to 129 so my mind will stop trying to quit on me.  

I always do the same thing,  get to the point where my jeans are loose and when I get close to going down in a new size I **** it all up, and this is what i'm fighting and MUST get past. 

I am working on hard on keeping my head in this game,  it's a hump and i'm going to get over it.

Hey Ms Lee,

I think you're doing a great job. I like the fact that u keep it real. The good the bad the ugly. I think you'll make it because u want it. Those shorts will button with ease. You'll be fly and you'll feel great about yourself. I believe you can do it. Sh&t I've acting a damn fool I need to be right there with you. I don't want it bad enough right now life keeps throwing curve balls my way...... You give me inspiration keep pushing

Hi Ms. Moriah

Yep i'm keeping it real because I find that it helps me not to lie to myself.  I feel like i'm on the verge of losing my motivation, but i'm fighting really hard not to let that happen.   I am going to do a lot of meditation and see if that will help me keep it together.

Don't do like I did and let it go to far,  it's hard getting it back together,  really hard.

Keep doing what you're doing girl.  You know it is good and right and true because it is working.  Our heads may never be straight so we have to borrow logic and common sense from elsewhere to stay on track. 

Don't allow this anxiety to derail you.  There is no impending fkcu up in your future.  As much as we despise set backs we often fear our own success in equal measure.  We desperately want it but fear keeps it out of our reach.  That hump is imaginary.  Its a place in your head like Dorothy in Oz. 

That nagging anxiety which never leaves some of us is often worse when things are going too well.  It keeps us looking around our personal universe for **** to hit the fan and splatter us.  Too often we jump off the good path just to get it over with so we don't have to keep waiting for things to get screwed up again. 

Stick with what's working for you.  There is no mandate to fkcu it up so just don't go there.  Stay Strong! 

"jump off the good path just to get it over"

Those word**** me like a brick.  It really does feel like i'm on the verge and it's time to just get it over with, but I have been holding it off and staying strong.

I hate hormones, they mess me up to much.  LOL.