Make like tape and wrap it up...

Ayy yo,

We haven't had one in awhile so here goes a quick wrap up of the gwine's on...

"Yeeeeeeeeeah boyeeeeee!"  Flavor Flav, hype man for pro-black radical rap group Public Enemy has opened a fried chicken restaurant in Iowa called Flavor Flav's Chicken.  Dang!  Chuck D must be turning over in his grave right about now.  Wait a sec...  Chuck ain't dead.  What's the world coming to I wonder?  My guess is even though they don't put out jams anymore, Flav is still out there "Hustlin'-Hustlin (everyday I be hustlin''- hustlin')..."

Aretha Franklin is denying those nasty pancreatic cancer rumors and is now saying that Halle Berry should play her as an adult in her upcoming biopic.  Yeah right. She'd better see if that chick from "Precious" is available.  All jokes aside though, I believe in dreaming big but dayum who said you should just invent **** to fit.  Nahmean?!  Ain't no way petite Halle is going to put on no 100 'n 70 sumpin pounds or rock a fat suit to try and pull off the Queen of Soul.  Jennifer Hudson would work instead or better yet Frenchie Davis IMO.  Ms. Franklin also wants Denzel Washington to play her father, the late Rev. C. L. Franklin in the film.   Nah uh!  Wrong again, Auntie Ree-Ree.  You'd better see if Forrest Whitaker or Michael Clark Duncan would do it on the cheap.  Ain't like this movie is gonna do the kinda numbers "Ray" did.  She's so dayum loopy from constantly lying about NOT having WLS right now that she'd probably want the Taco Bell dog to play one of her pet cats.

Shout-out to the family that was finally reunited with their daughter who was kidnapped from a Harlem hospital back in 1987.  That is truly a blessing.   Now that the kidnapper has finally turned herself in I want the U. S. Justice Department to put together a special task force to have that individual, and all other convicted kidnappers, beaten severly on a daily basis for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the entire length of their prison sentence.  "They" used say back in the day, "tell the truth and shame the devil," well I'm willing to bet that if you'd whip his azz erry once 'n a while too that fool would act right.

Speaking of whippings and beatings, are we really ready to forgive R. Kelly for what he did?  Shouldn't we be throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at him when we see in the streets and not rushing to music stores to buy his latest CD?  I mean this is the same guy who urinated on 'likkle chirrens dem' in his home and captured it all on video.  Yeah I saw a copy of it and was utterly disgusted.  However, the other parts of the video with "of-age women" though, lemme tell ya, was "two thumbs up" fo sho. 

But I digress...

Here is a man who did horrible unspeakable acts to a minor just a few short years back and nowadays when I turn on the radio all I hear are the station DJs pumping up his new single like, "...It's all good.  It was just some pee, I mean c'mon man...  It ain't like it was some poop or nuffin.  Jeez..."  Y'all wrong for that one, Yo.  Micheal Jackson never got that kinda pass and his accuser hung himself out of guilt that he had lied on MJ.

PSA (especially RNY'ers) - Be careful using the sweetner Truvia or any other sweetners made from the the Stevia plant! They are 30-45 times sweeter than Sucrose and don't have the aftertaste that Splenda has.  I tried some the other morning on a cup of breakfast cereal and dayum near fell into a coma-like sleep that resembled dumping.  A few folks have suggested to me that I switch to Agave, which comes from cactuses, as a sweetener.  I would but I often think that anything coming from a cactus is the secret ingredient in Tequila and I don't wanna fall off of the wagon just because I had some cornflakes.  Besides anything harvested by some dirt merchant migrant workers out in the desert tells me that it would have to be washed off very good because of the "no adequate bathroom facilities" policy that they strictly enforce out there.  Nah.  Can't have unidentified brown and yellow flecks and flakes floating around in my cup of good morning goodness.  Thanks but no thanks.
 
Lastly, Oprah's got a secret!  Oprah's got a secret!  Here's the secret: She has a bump on her butt that looks like Grady from Sanford and Son.  Nah...  Seriously, Oprah has a half-sister whom their mother, who had already given birth to 3 other kids with different fathers prior, decided to give away at birth but was later adopted; all while Oprah lived with her own father.  That is so nice.  This woman should be feeling like she just hit the Mega Millions being claimed as Oprah's sister.  However, from catching those sullen looking pictures and other glimpses of her on the news sound bites I can't help but think what's going through that woman's head is "Dayum.  Our mama was a bit of a ho..."

Thank you for the thourough news brief.

I got nothing on the Flava Flav thing. Absolutely nothing.

J Hud would have been my choice, but she went and got all skinty. I heard on the radio yesterday that Beyonce said she'd be honored to play Ree Ree.

Thank God that young lady was reunited with her fam. Seems like a damn shame it took so long, suprised the girl was taken away from the drug addicted kidnapper when she was young.

I change the station whenever I hear R Kelly. I agree w/you 100%. How soon we forget.

I don't have to worry about dumping. I'm starting a 21 day Vegan kickstart the 1st and plan to go back to sugar in the raw or honey.

How the hell did Oprah at the age of 9 not know moms was changing? She didn't recognize that mommy was getting a little thick around the middle and suddenly came home thin again? I call BS. Her sister is very pretty though.

Good day kind sir.

Thank you for the thourough news brief.

No problem.  I aim to please.

I got nothing on the Flava Flav thing. Absolutely nothing.

Yeah I was speechless on this at first but...  yeah I'm still pretty speechless on this.

J Hud would have been my choice, but she went and got all skinty. I heard on the radio yesterday that Beyonce said she'd be honored to play Ree Ree.

I think Beyonce wants an Oscar like Jaime Foxx but this ain't the way to go about it.  She should play Lena Horne now that Janet can't do it.  That would give her acting career the boost that she's looking for.

I don't have to worry about dumping. I'm starting a 21 day Vegan kickstart the 1st and plan to go back to sugar in the raw or honey.

Good luck with that.  Sugar puts me on the slab, Yo.  I can't handle it anymore after WLS.

How the hell did Oprah at the age of 9 not know moms was changing?

I think she was living primarily with her father at the time.  I don't think she saw much of her mom but what do I know?!   Perhaps at 9 she may have seen it and couldn't talk about it.  Ya know how us black folks raised our kids to be back then - "seen and not heard."

Good day kind sir.

Good day to you too, madam.

I ignore the entertainment news except dor the MrD_A version which as always is its own entertainment. 

I'm feeling for Ophra's sister.  Were it me I would rather not know and I definetly would not want the world to know.  How do you develop a relationship when sis has more $$$$$ than God?  I'd alway's wonder if she's waiting for me to ask her for something.  Then I'd be uncomfortable if she gave me a gift that I could not afford to buy for myself.  Then I'd have to deal with the folks that believe they can get to her through me. 

No, I'd much rather not know.  However generous and anonymous benefactor is greatly appreciated. 

I ignore the entertainment news except dor the MrD_A version which as always is its own entertainment. 

Ohhh...   You gonna make this dark brotha blush in technicolor.  Thanks for the love, Luv.

I'm feeling for Ophra's sister.  Were it me I would rather not know and I definetly would not want the world to know. 

Well Ms. Winfrey said in a press release that she did it this way for two reasons: 1. to beat the media to the story, and 2. to keep the media from making it out to be something that she was hiding all of these years.  I think she did a good job with both.

How do you develop a relationship when sis has more $$$$$ than God?

I don't know but I'd get better and better at it everyday though.

I'd alway's wonder if she's waiting for me to ask her for something. 

I can see that, but I'd think that Oprah being Oprah would try and head that off by fostering a good relationship with her first, and then getting her to sell the rights to her story back to O magazine. 

Then I'd be uncomfortable if she gave me a gift that I could not afford to buy for myself.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeit! Speak for yourself on that one.  If I ever find out that Al Roker, Jay-Z, or Queen Latifah is my long lost family member Imma come around with my hands out looking like Beggin Benny from Fat Albert and the Cosby kids. 
 
Then I'd have to deal with the folks that believe they can get to her through me. 

Yeah you'd have to watch that.  Cause devils will find a way to get atcha.

@ beat the media to the story
You got that right.  In Ophra's position it was the logical move.  Even if sis was not going for the photo ops, they had to put it out there.  I agree she handled it well but I hope sis negotiated a percentage of the royalties on that story. 

 @  Imma come around with my hands out looking like Beggin Benny from Fat Albert and the Cosby kids. 
Except for my parents, I've never been good with accepting expensive gifts from family. 

 @ Except for my parents, I've never been good with accepting expensive gifts from family. 

Well... after I make myself rich and famous I'm only going to treat you to a plush dinner at Dunkin Donuts then.  See ya coulda hadda Mercedes Benz or a 7 series BMW outta me, but noooooooo you had to get all uppity and high "fah-lute-ten" on me. 

Sike.

I totally understand where you're coming from.  God bless the child that's got his/her own...

  a plush dinner at Dunkin Donuts
You found out my secret!  There's not much I would not do for a Boston cream and a French cruller. 

Dang! Aye...I was trying to be on the low today....have mad work to do BUT I Can't resist this juicy morsel of entertainment news.

The only think I can say about Flava Fla having a chicken joint is 1.) the chicken better have mad FLAVOR because the NAME alone lends to high expectations (yet nothing to do with the man behind the bizness).  AND 2.) I pray to gawd that he does not have "not" one picture of himself in there holding a piece of chicken and licking his greasy lips Now...that would turn me smooth off from ALL chicken...not just his. Heyl, now that I think about it he need to go into business selling appetite suppressants and birth control. With his picture on the packaging....you wont even need to consume the product!

Ummmm Now I Lubs me some Aretha Franklin....BUT she needs to play herself in the biopic because whoever lands that role (unless Aretha is already 6 feet under) will hear her from  across the country sucking her teeth at what a horrible job they have done. or even halting production.   I personally can't see anybody meeting up to her expectations. Shes the Queen Diva....and that's the only reason shes is even looking at the very thin Oscar winning actress. She at the top of the field.  I suggest she move on down the line and pick another Oscar winner. Well Angela Bassett did already play a singer so shes a little more likely...I believe Whoppi Goldberg howled some Lyrics in Sister Act....AND shes got a big a@@ too. That might be a match.

Regarding the Kidnapped victim, I just hate that she and her family endured all that suffering and yet you know that she not going to be spattered all over People Magazine like the "other" kidnapped victims have been. She might get a little attention and minimum compensation but the fervor will die out real quick!!! I am happy that she is reunited with her mother. Hope they get the same counseling and support other families of the missing receive.  

As for R Kelly....I just can't listen to his music without getting sick to my stomach. That was R Kelly's raunchy a@@  and I for one....will not be supporting him in anyway. Its a shame because I was one of his biggest fans.

Thanks for the warning. I was about to try it. I need to give up all sweeteners though. I have become so dependent on them...I know a new study is just around the corner that says that using artificial sweeteners have been prone to cause people to log onto websites and tell all of their bizness...
In regards to Oprah's half sister....the only thing I can say is DUCK!!! Gayle King is behind you!!!

  @ I think about it he need to go into business selling appetite suppressants and birth control. With his picture on the packaging....you wont even need to consume the product!

Dayum!  I don't know, Yo.  Flav got like 8 or 9 kids and a slew of grandkids too.  Somebody is finding him cute enough to snuggle up with.   

 @ (unless Aretha is already 6 feet under) will hear her from  across the country sucking her teeth at what a horrible job they have done. or even halting production.   I personally can't see anybody meeting up to her expectations.

You are absolutely right.  I can definitely see that.

 @ I believe Whoppi Goldberg howled some Lyrics in Sister Act....AND shes got a big a@@ too. That might be a match.

Hey now don't nobody talk about Whoopi like that.  Y'all know that's my twin in a dress.

Regarding the Kidnapped victim...

                                                     hmmm...

All I wanna hear is when are they gonna start hiring for the job of beating the kidnappers on a daily in the joint.  I'd quit this J-O-B and take a pay cut to get a chance to whack on some fools doing this mess. 

As for R Kelly....

That perv...

I just can't listen to his music without getting sick to my stomach.
 
Me too.

In regards to Oprah's half sister....the only thing I can say is DUCK!!! Gayle King is behind you!!!

Word!  Ya know Gayle is sitting there wondering if she'll be reduced to #3 somehow or if Oprah will want to make the famous friendship a threeway friendship after all the time she's put in already.