A story from my childhood........

Anyway – Catholics have what I consider a certification program called ‘Catechism class’.  This is a series of classes that teach you the Catholic belief doctrine and get you all practiced on the prayers and sit-kneel-bow-kneel-sit routine of mass. (I swear it’s a great lower body workout, especially if you attend two masses back to back.)  I didn’t want to go – what kid does? – but my mother made me.  She insisted that I be certified.  So, beginning sometime in elementary, I attended classes each Sunday. 

The instructor was a cool guy – can’t remember what he did as a real gig, but he was a nice fellow.  He made the lessons really easy to understand and even made the class bearable at times.  One Sunday, he was reviewing the birth of Jesus and at the end of his lecture I raised my hand.  I had a few things on my mind that I wanted to clear up so that I would fully ‘buy-in’ to this whole theory……..

Him: Yes, Trina?

Me: I have a few questions about Jesus.

Him: Ok – go ahead.

Me: Well – lemme get this straight – Mary had Jesus but Joseph isn’t the father?

Him: That’s correct.  Jesus is the son of God.  Mary was blessed with him through immaculate conception.

Me: M’kay. So after Jesus was born, Joseph took care of him with Mary?

Him: That is correct.

Me: And Mary got pregnant just before she married Joseph?

Him: that is correct.

Me: But she was a virgin?

Him: yes (getting a little annoyed)

Me: and Joseph knew Mary was pregnant before they married and still married her? Hmmm – I have a cousin that got pregnant and her guy left. 

Him: It was a different time and cir****tance for Mary and Joseph.

Me: Ok.  Another question. So if Jesus is God’s son, how come God didn’t help out? I have another cousin who just got an increase in child support from her son’s father – she just moved into a bigger house.  Mary had God’s child in a manger – wasn’t God obligated to provide for them?

Him: (really annoyed) God provides for us all with what we need, God is not a God of luxury – Mary, Jesus and Joseph had their needs met as God saw fit.

Me: Ok.

Him: Anything else? *eyebrow ****ed*

Me: Nope.

He then went into teaching the Rosary prayers – Our Father; check – I get that one. Apostle’s Creed; check – got that one. Then the Hail Mary – and here’s where I have another round of questions…….

Me: Can I ask another question?

Him: (with an exhale of air) Yesssssss

Me: Mary got pregnant and had Jesus, right?

Him: Yes – we’ve been over that.

Me: Did she do anything else besides raise Jesus as his mother?

Him: Not really.

Me: Well – doesn’t every pregnant woman basically do that? I mean, unless there’s something bad wrong with them.  Pregnant women have kids and that’s it.

Him: I’m not sure what you’re asking.

Me: Well – Mary didn’t do anything all that special.  But Joseph married and stayed with her, knowing the kid wasn’t his and had to struggle to support them.  I have a cousin who had a baby by another dude and her husband left.  Seems to me Joseph was the extra special one.  Why are we hailing Mary?  Seems to me Joseph is the one who should be hailed. How come Joseph doesn't have a prayer?

……… this would be when I was asked to step outside the class and stand in the hallway till my mom came to pick me up.  Somehow- miraculously after that, I passed the whole series without attending many more classes.  I did the whole white dress and veil, crackers and grape juice thing on Sunday and BAM! I was Catholic……..

I still couldn’t get an answer to my question tho – so I just hail Joseph on my own. *grin*