YES, I ATE THAT...

... AND EVERYTHING ELSE TOO! 

See what happens when I open that door?  Its so hard to close it.  I am back on maintenance calories today.  I have my feedings all planned out.  Tomorrow I'm back to low carb. 

Right now I feel like a no op going on a diet instead of simply doing what I am supposed to do.    Consumed by thoughts, aromas, pictures of foods I don't normally eat. 

No regrets over a few days indulgence.  However, my continued inability to just let it go and fall back into correct eating irritates me.  While I despise admitting this I must.   I am truly powerless over food.  There, I said it. 

Powerless over food?  No shyt, Sherlock!!! Any other obvious statements you need to make?

Water is wet
The sky is blue
I'm the best thing this world has seen next to Jesus
and ummm - yea - that about sums it up! LOL

chile please - one thing I WILL be letting go is my scale facination.  I saw a video last night of a chick who is FIONE TO DEF and kills it in the gym like I do - her athleticism is AMAZING - so, I am going to push my athletic limits and work on scupting, toning and bringing my run times to goal - if I finish my half marathon, get up to 250lbs on leg press and 85-90lbs lat pulldown AND wear 12/14....... - the scale can say 250 and I no longer give a shyt.

I'm tired of trying to be skinny - when I was, I was WEAK - so I'm fixin ta get my SKRONG on!!!! lol

Quit being so hard on yourself MSW! 
Take a lesson from what Trina said...that's GREAT that she is where she's at!
The obsession with the scale is not always good.

YOU LOOK GREAT.....we all have days when we slip....we just get back up! 

Hey Kim!!!! The one thing I forgot to mention - that chick is over 200lbs! She's my height too - when I watched that video and saw her knock out the weights at some of my current levels - HA! ummm - yea - I said RIGHT THUR - it's over - the scale can say nuffin to me!!! 

Heck - even after being on hiatus for two weeks AND having a cold - I knocked out 100lb squats, 200lb leg press, 75 on lat pulldown AND a 12:45min mile.  STILL weighing 220lbs.

.......and that is what Imma live with. 

  Thanks my lovely BAF people for comforting me as I vent. 

I get so angry with myself because I know its not about the food.  The food takes control because I am out of control.  I'm acting the fool in ways I did not even at my heaviest. 

Type A contol freak over here.  It is stating the obvious like saying  **** stinks.  But, I have a hard time with anything I cannot control.  That includes my food and my weight.  Owning powerlessness is a big deal for me. 

Right now I am totally food obsessed in a house that reeks of rum and spices and Trinidadian fruit cakes.  I have one more to bake God help me. 

(((hugs))) i am not on the loser bench yet.  however, i know that i will be struggling with same issues come holiday 2011.  just take one day at time.  if that is too much take one minute.  i think we are all brave to make this step to change our bodies and minds and create a healthier self.  you have the control, but as someone said, try not to be so hard on yourself.

but i soooo understand----im a bajan gyal

yeah i took MM advice and let the scales go and the way my body looks is way better than what a scale will ever say. i have never been this facinated with weight training in my life , and my stamina is off the rictor scale.