No Sex Life

Maybe cause you can see both sides of things?

You don't need to be able to see both sides to see there is something bigger than just physical.
 
But let's just say you married a really shallow guy who hates your saggy body, he's not cheating, he just hates the way you look and can't bring himsef to have sex with you.    That would hurt just as bad as cheating to me.   

no need anymore anyway....thanks again.

I agree Lee. Either this man is not into sex period with any women flabby or not, is on the DL, or is cheating.

I mean if the flab was the only issue he would hit it with the lights off or watch a flick while you're ******g. 


Ima put this on him and not you...



BTW, my heart goes out to you as a fellow surgery sister who is recovering from years of sexual and physical abuse (see blog).

We survivors need to be loved with a gentle hand and a big heart. It does not seem that your husband is giving you what your spirit needs let alone your body.  I pray things will get better for you.   




                        

Oh...thanks.......

Wow. I cannot even imagine how you must be feeling. I understand that you did things along the 'Christian' path prior to marriage, and maybe I missed it-but how long did you know hubby before marriage? I understand theat there wasn't the sex act prior to marriage, but was there intimacy? Did you guys discuss the importance of sex and your expectations after marriage?

I'm certainly in no position to give relationship advice, I'm just wishing you the very best.

another factor is that he may an underlying issue like diabetes or high blood pressure, reactions to medications or even a dysfunction problem that needs to be resolved. I hate to say these problems were probably going on even while you were dating! abstinence made it easier not to deal with the issue. the next case is he is having sex just not with you and i have had experience with all of the above! as a single woman i realized i deserved to be happy and i could not help someone who did not want to be helped. But since you are married, if he is not open to counseling or resolving the underlying issue to save your marriage, remember that everyone deserves a loving and fulfilling relationship, and you dont have to sacrifice yourself so someone else can be happy or prove to your christian friends that you can withstand it all to stay together, sometimes it can come back and bite you in the butt! hope every work out for you....

Babygirl,

He may be the one with the problem but you need to get yourself in some serious therapy quick. Do not let this bring you back to where you came from. Please do not worry about him right now, worry about your mental health because a man can truly mess up your head.

That is all.

I pray things get better for you.

Thank you so much,
Im proud to say that we had our very first counseling session tonight, It last 2 hours and was awesome, we learn ALOT of things and we will be going back every Monday night! Thanks for allowing me to use this Blog to sort this thing out and now Im HOPEFULL & OPTIMISTIC
Char!

Glad you're working it out.  I had some perspective to share but I'll hold my tonge given you are getting to the root of the problem.  Hopefully you get down to the core issues, his and yours.   Hopefully you'll find that resolution resulting in a satisfying sex life over the long term.  Good luck to you both.