No Sex Life

So, Here I am....again! putting all my business out there! Im desperate, I have no one to talk to and I need to vent!!!
Im a newlywed! 5month and 10days married to be exact. Ive been in and out of a Christian mentallity my entire life (long story). So when I met my husband on Christian singles a couple years ago I was all amped up and we decieded to do things Gods way and wait to have sex before marriage. Now mind you, I had already had my surgery when I met my hubby but I was in the process of still losing weight, him never having had a weight issue in his life (sort of) understood.....and come to find out (now after were married) that he thought that when you loose weight everything just bounces back to where it should be LOL!
He never even saw me naked before marriage! Mind you I was 60lbs heavier when we met than I am now and still trying hard to reach goal.
Long story short we have no sex life, Since marriage I can count on my hands the amount of actually intercourse we actually had, he says I dont turn him on, and he needs to be turned on to have sex, Ive tried body stockings and lingerie, he likes the stark nakidness of a woman,........just not this woman, I dont believe things can last forever like this, he wants me to have plastic surgery and we simply cannot afford it!
Have you ever had someone make you feel like they were doing you a favor my "allowing" you to have an ******
Last night I just wanted to die! having had been sexually abused in my past, and gaining weight to hide my beauty and having daddy issues and the whole nine. Before marriage, before surgery I finally got to a place where I was completly in love with myself, totally adored who I am, went through counseling and prayer and everything else to finally realize my worth and then for the man I chose to share my life with to not be turned on by me, can really **** WITH ONE'S MENTAL STABILITY!
This husband I married Is such an awesome companion, touchy, feely, full of love, provider all the things that I ever wanted in a husband.....BUT NO SEX! and its because of the way my body looks!!!!!!!!!
WHAT AM I SOPOSE TO DO? just dry up and wither away?
Im hurt, this is painful, and Im trying hard not to build hatred in my heart for him, because I just keep remembering all the hurt from men in the past, and this is a brand new kind of hurt I dont know what to do..............................................

 wow.  that's deep. 

First - you need counseling - YOU - cause this is getting to you in a way that may drive you back into past behaviors. 

Se******m - Ionknow about him.  I can appreciate you doing things 'God's way' and all - but there's something else to his non attraction.  Sorry, but I just ain't buying that he's all that and a bag of chips EXCEPT for this. Being a dude in the head - Imma tell you - when you love a mofo and GOTS ta have em - the only issue is them keeping their clothes ON.  Sure I have a body type I go for - but a mofo with the personality and mental that I am looking for gets a MAD pass on the body - attraction is WAY more than visual and it shouldn't be a dealbreaker. 

JMO

My mom thinks that he's the one with the real issue and passing it off on me. She thinks his sex drive is extremly low....he's 46 Im 36.
I love my husband and all, but trust and believe me when I tell you, I married him because I felt and still believe that he was the right man for me, I find it hard to believe he's being completly honest with my body being the only problem, damn makes me feel like im Hidious, you know, He's a different looking kinda cat, and not to put him on blast but he aint hung like king kong dong either so..................
By the way I am completly and totally counseled out! I dont wanna see another counselor ever! The Ironic thing is we have a meeting scheduled for this evening that he set up with a married couple, buy sex isnt even on the menu...so who knows, maybe the issue will come up.
Believe me when I tell you....this is pretty much our only issue, the meeting we have set up today was sopose to happen before we got married with this particular couple and were just getting around to making that happen.

Imma tell you like this hur..... and you know I get raw with it, so get ready........

NEW p*ssy is the strongest and most compelling thing known to man (and some women lol). And if you get some new p*ssy - you gon play wif it, pet it, run with it and spend ALL kinds of time on it, in it, and up and thru it.

Sorry - not buying the sex drive thing - I could see that if yall had hit it for a year or so before the ring, but on a first time 'run' at the funhouse? Nah.

He's got some issue - and it ain't your body. But he won't face it or really admit to it anytime soon, I'm guessing.

But I hope I am wrong!!!! 

Thanks Mama.... I do appreciate your honesty! its truth and as the day goes by Im more and more convinced that Im doing all things the best I can, Im fine as hell dammit and my hubby gone have to go to counseling and may even need some meds (?)
But we have scheduled our first counseling session for this evening, TODAY and Im hoping something changes for him, for his own freedom, in his own time, cause Ima be free, Ima be me and Ima love myself and him till the wheels fall off this ***** cause Its all I can do to be true to myself! In the mean time Ima have to squeeze my legs tightly together....
He's gonna have to continue to use what he's good at  (you know) and hopefully this will be one of those things we can say "damn I didnt think we were gon make it" but we did.
Thanks for being the REALEST CHICK on this thang....
I mean seriously! IF I had been contimplating suicide of this **** you woulda been the ONLY one talking me off the ledge everyone else woulda been jus****chin to see what the hell was gone happen!n (or sayin Jump, jump jump)
Love you for that!

Whew - I keep sayin Imma spend some time tryna become a better Christian - cause I tell you what - YOU are better than ME!!!!!! hahahhahaha - don't trip, HE ain't thru wit me yet!!!!

as for the envelope lickin - long as he got tha skills - nothing like a lil additional toy to make things REALLY right..... but if he's still got an overall attitude about even that type of engagement in activity - then it's a real BIG prol-lem.

anyhoo - of COURSE Imma keep it real deal Holyfield! between me and Lee - we can give u the 411 if none of the bruhs wanna be on front street about it - we are one of the boys anyway...... honorary card holds and ish.....

Charlene, why are you inviting your Mom into your bedroom? 

Lord I PRAY hubby never finds out you done told your momma his business. You think you ain't getting any now.  The well will surely go dry if he finds out you been putting your intimate business in the streets.

You just don't need to tell your family and girlfriends certain things.  Just my opinion...

Married 5 months and 10 days and not having sex, dude is having sex, just not with you.

I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to agree with Mack.  When your that new in marriage that man should be loving up on you regardless of how your body looks, especially considering yall waited

I know you don't even want to entertain the thought of your new husband cheating, but something is very foul there.  Find out what it is and don't spend years with a man that don't want you.  Do you really in your heart believe that plastics will make him hot for you? and if it does, do you want a man who only wants you if you are flawless?

I am sorry your going through this but you need to clear out your lenses and take a close look at what is really going on. 

Ok, thanks........?
now, now.....Lets keep things in perspective and deal with the hear and now, I know that by nature we as human beings Always assume the worst first, but we know as women we have an intuition out of this world, the man is not cheating....and if he does, Ill know!
And I wouldnt be nor have ever been eyes closed too tight to deal with that from him or any other man.
If its found to be that theres some cheating taking place there will be a different type of post to follow....but right now, for today this is the issue.

Umm - I hope you get some more answers from other folk - why the bi and gay chick gotta be the ones to break ish down????  LOL!!!!!!