OT-I'm Pissy!

Sue...you are SO on point with your response! I work with my own people, and I have also been told I'm aggressive; however, I have a supervisor who appreciates my work ethic...all aggressiveness aside (it's aggressive when you have to tell folk 'no'!). My supervisor values my work and appreciates the fact that I will go the extra mile to ensure excellence - in addition, I am a TEAM PLAYER...and I believe in team work, period, dot.

Case in point - we had a meeting, supervisor went to the meeting singing praises to a tiny sector of our office and never made mention about the rest of us...the team that REALLY does the 'gut' work, if you will. After the meeting, I called him and our HR director in on a meeting and let him know how hurt I was that he neglected to mention EVERYONE in our office. He told me I was correct and he apologized - even told me he realized after his presentation that he had not included everyone. Well, yesterday during the meeting, yep, you guessed it...he corrected it.

I love my work and I take my work very seriously; however, kissing behind - well, it's all relative. And as Sue said, you put on your best game face at work - and save your heart and soul for those you cherish.

Having worked in a field where middle aged white men comprise nearly all of management I've learned that:
-  When he, Mrwhitebusinessman, is direct and to the point he is assertive.
-  When She, MsBlackBusinessWoman, is direct and to the point she is a *****  

Just one of many disgusting tidbits I've had to swallow.  Yes in the 21st century we must still play these games and deal wih the bull****  Unfortunately the majority of us are just actors in someone else's show so we'd best learn to take direction

Its not all about performance.  Its equally about massaaging egos etc, even if the only issue that ego has is having been bested by MsBlackBusinesswoman. 

I've got to agree with Ms#1MM.  Know the game being played and start playing it.   You don't need to feel it, just let them think you do. 

Love this quote from Maya Angelou. I quote it often when I give speeches.

ETA:  Don't allow anyone to steal your joy!  It could just be a way to see if they can make you agressive by angering you with these comments.

Michelle,

Did you already sign the review? I would not sign it without comment because it will label you and will stay in your permanent record. I would ask for some concrete examples of why they are making that assessment. Let them know that it is not your intent to be that way if it is so perceived but rather to be assertive and get the job done without distraction...or something along those lines.  I would comment similarly on the actual evaluation and ask for a plan of action. Request a Professional Development Plan that includes a course on Communications just for good measure and to show that you do care about your relationship with others. Hopefully, this will help to take the sting off  those harsh words and maybe set you straight for the next one. Yes...it for sure is a game...unfortunately.    

Not signing it doesn't expunge it or make it unfile-able in her record.  All it does is prove she's difficult to work with.

Signing your review doesn't mean you agree - it means you received it - and if you refuse to sign, there's an alternate procedure for two witness to sign it confirming THEY saw your azz get it and it STILL goes into your record - only now with proof of your attitude. 

I agree with the plan of action advice tho......

Sorry for the confusion. I know there no real getting around the signing. My point is make a comment before you sign. There is no getting it back later and asking to put a comment on it after the fact.

the comment is even worse - lol. 

it's not an attribute or action that will get her outright fired - it would play better if she sends a seperate communication asking for a development plan to improve her performance in that area and sets up regular check ins to get feedback on progress or further issue.

I have blackballed many a mofo with comments on their review - you really think that's what that section is for?  LOL!!! they should label it:

If you wish to make sure mangement stays clear of you and that you never advance in this company unless someone is will to take a chance that you're not REALLY a troublemaker, please add comments to this section:

LMAO!!!!! Unless the issue noted in the review is one that has definite and almost immediate consequences if repeated - best bet is to not put it in stone on your formal review documentation and handle it off line.  Think of this scenario - ok - so she puts her comments down, then later wants to go for promotion or transfer and the hiring mgr is a homie of the mofo that wrote this one?  Now they are thinking 'ok - she has issues, if my homie noted it and she had problems..... Imma pass cause I ain't got time'

Just sayin.......

LOL!...we just have different styles...I like to see the comments. If they are worded the right way...they might earn points with me. Heyl...if nothing else they show me if the mofo is even going to make an "attempt" to be compliant....and play the game with me..LOL! Now if worded the wrong way....yes I agree a totally different story. I think a humble comment asking for help goes a long way...rather than just signing off. Whoever gets that file...is just going to zero in on that "negative and aggressive" without anything else to calm the hair standing up on the back of their neck.  A few select words might help.  I do see your points as well.  I do think that a homie might have a little bias no matter what you do. So damned if you do or damned if you don't in that scenario.

  

 I've been in mgmt over 10 yrs now - I seen WAYYYY too much closed door shadiness and mofos get clipped for minor, petty shyt.  I play the game to win, so I don't give up NO ground and I never gamble..... LOL 

Unless you in the job hunting stage be careful with those mofos. Don't refuse to sign. Write your concerns on the document you received. Asked for a meeting to discus your concerns. Be careful. I lost my $85.000 a year job for not fitting in.